― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 14:55 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 14:56 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Mandee, Friday, 18 July 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 18 July 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:10 (twenty-one years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:13 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:16 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Mandee, Friday, 18 July 2003 15:16 (twenty-one years ago) link
(jess, ILX being dicks if you ask for advice, unsurpising!)
― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:21 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark s (mark s), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:23 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 July 2003 15:52 (twenty-one years ago) link
i think this is disgusting and morally uncoscionable!
― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:04 (twenty-one years ago) link
i think this is disgusting and morally unconscionable!
― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 18 July 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago) link
Because I am in a I AM SINGLE AND SAD ABOUT IT TOO mood, I think that poly people could at least have the decency not to make lonely people feel even *more* lonely. But this goes for mono people as well. IN FACT IT GOES FOR ALL PEOPLE. I am going to stick with the interweb.
The hardest thing abt *being* in a poly relationship I wd think is to have the self-esteem and confidence not to feel a bit rub when yr partner is off with s/one else and obviously happy about it and making COMPARISONS and agh headbreaking.
However, I can see positive things abt poly as well - I've seen people be extremely happy and more relaxed in their "relationships" when one person doesn't develop into the be-all-and-end-all - just simply, someone who you er... "dig". And I can see that as a healthy attitude to have.
Then again I am shunning company and party on Friday night so you probably should't listen to me as the healthy attitude type of person eh?
― Sarah (starry), Friday, 18 July 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago) link
Er yeah, sorry about that Stars. I wasn't thinking straight, and my not posting anything on the thread must've made it sooo much better. I can be a total fuckwit at times.
― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:33 (twenty-one years ago) link
yeah, the self-confidence thing was mostly the reason i revived - not that anything has really progressed yet - but being the type of guy i am, i don't tend to pull in massive amounts of the laydeez, so y'know, there are "no worries" on my end, but since for most of my (ha ha) adult life i have located the majority of my self-esteem and confidence in the undying affection of my partner ("nyeah nyeah...you can't have them") (which totally isn't healthy, btw!!) i am a bit worried about my already low low low LOW levels of uh self-esteem (and rather high levels of self-hate.)
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:53 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago) link
This makes me so happy I can't describe it.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 18:59 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:01 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:02 (twenty-one years ago) link
i mean nobodys asking where your car keys are
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:03 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:04 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago) link
(TO SPELL IT OUT FOR EVERYONE JESUS PEOPLE)
― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago) link
BASICALLY SHE AND I BOTH DECIDED THAT WE SHOULD BE FREE TO EXPLORE NOT JUST CASUAL SEX BUT ALSO THE POSSIBILITY OF EXTRA RELATIONSHIPS (GOD THAT SOUNDS SO LAME), BUT THIS IS JUST A FREEDOM NOT A MANDATE OR EVEN A POSSIBILITY RIGHT NOW.
ONE TIME AT BAND CAMP...
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago) link
jess had a threesome with Tatum O'Neal.
― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago) link
thats actually kinda cute
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:10 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:11 (twenty-one years ago) link
I love how if certain posters try to get advice or shoulders round these parts, everyone seems to feel that it's open season, as if we're robots. It'd be cool but it ain't true. Meanwhile, if jess was (fill-in-here-not-gonna-spell-it-out-which-posters-get-treated-like-drama-sadsacks) everyone would be horrified and running about with their hands in the air! I can't decide which is more annoying.
― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:11 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:11 (twenty-one years ago) link
― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:13 (twenty-one years ago) link
― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:14 (twenty-one years ago) link
thank u ally
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:17 (twenty-one years ago) link
What's our favorite evening game?"Baseball?" You're all wet!"Let's swap partners" is the nameSuburban Roulette!
Where's my wife? Has anyone seen her?Is she ring-a-dingin' with that swingin' set?The other guy's wife is always greenerSuburban Roulette!
I love you madly, babySo come on and hold me tightBut don't feel bad now, baby,If I love your sister tomorrow night
Let's livin' up this dead roomThere's life in this swinger yetIt's fun and games now in the bedroomSuburban Roulette!
There's a new lady in my lifeWouldn't trade her for a bet"That's no lady! That my wife!"Suburban Roulette!
Your husband's just a grouch, dearMy wife's a hopeless squareThere they are on the couch, dearAnd they're just sitting there!
Let me borrow your comb, loveIt's nearly 6 p.m., my petYour husband will soon be home, loveSuburban Roulette!
― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:18 (twenty-one years ago) link
and, for that matter, the absence of kid gloves as a compliment
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:20 (twenty-one years ago) link
― That Girl (thatgirl), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:20 (twenty-one years ago) link
Ha, yes. My self-esteem is pretty good as it goes, but the fact of knowing I was loved or at least wanted reciprocally was a bloody big part of it for a long time. Being single for so long has had a pretty major effect on me.
Back to poly. I've never been in the situation you're in now Jess. The one major poly thing I went through was essentially poly from the word go so there was never any mono->poly negotiation issues. However, the four of us collectively plumbed the depths of baggage you could bring to the relationship, so I've had my fair share of jealousy/self-esteem fuck ups. The one thing I should have learnt from this, above all else, is to not let any twinges fester. If you're uncomfortable say so, even if it seems really petty. Otherwise you open up a whole world of mess. Communication breakdowns in mono situations are bad enough, but the more partnerships you've got the worse it gets.
― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:26 (twenty-one years ago) link
― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:32 (twenty-one years ago) link
― jess (dubplatestyle), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:35 (twenty-one years ago) link
i think most of the confusion on the latter part of thread stems from the fact that an agreement for 'more people' can come with tons of different contingencies and rule sets attached
i wasnt sure if we were talking about introducing another main player into an existing relationship, agreeing to see *any* other people, agreeing to see *certain* other people or what. i think each situation probably warrants a separate discussion, as theres different issues at the root of each
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:37 (twenty-one years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 18 July 2003 19:39 (twenty-one years ago) link