frank kogan needs to know the diff between a pub and a bar

The one US English-style pub I was taken to, in San Diego, was horribly wrong, a bad pastiche rather than an authentic transcription.

But that is right for us, I mean, I think you got the real thing, the real pastiche.

San Diego has lots of Blarney Stars, yes? Or is that just where I end up my relatives?

Jerry's description of a pub-like Denver establishment sounds like a sports bar, which I don't see entering into the UK picture: I assume sports get watched at pubs? Sports bars are terrible. Absolutely terrible. They are like bars, not pubs (pubs, in their constant attempts to be like something out of Dubliners, only show European soccer) -- only they're not like bars, insofar as the point is mainly to serve people chicken wings and beer while they watch events.

Sorry, had to point that out but otherwise the American 'pub' locator you suggest is flawless.

Urgh, Hooters. A pastiche of this has opened on Clerkenwell Road called HONKERS and it is morguishly empty every time I pass.

(Ha, okay Amateurist, I have not been to Nevin's in years, but yes it used to be a fine example of a "pub" without the word "pub" in its name. But now they have, like, John Cale and Yo La Tengo bookings -- and where are they doing this stuff? did they take over the ex-Cajun place next door to put in a stage? -- so clearly they are trying hard to become a "bar" and not just a bar but a venue. Which sucks so far as I can tell because surely their oh-so-terrific shepherd's pie will eventually be a thing of the past.)

This is only funny if you have been to Fado before, seeing as it's a CHAIN restaurant that serves dishes like baked brie and munster and pear quesadilla. Sounds really authentic, hm?

Kill people like this the next time you see them, please.

Sorry, Suzy - I have lost track of where you live. No offence was intended.

Our backward circle is still on 'puppies', I'm afraid.

Naw, Gabor's wasn't pub-like and wasn't a sports bar, just had the game on. "Fuck and Run" was on the jukebox.

You lucky, lucky circle.

Unemployed NYCILXCHIXOR! Let's open this!

[From Television Theme Song]

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away

All those night when you've got no lights
The check is in the mail
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail
And your third fiance didn't show

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead
The morning's looking bright
And your shrink ran off to Europe
And didn't even write
And your husband wants to be a girl

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You want to go where people know
People are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name

Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came

The first step? Take a flight at Heathrow and flip through the CD racks at the Air Mall. You'll find funny names, lots of cover versions, and more compilations than you can shake an ambassador at. The most famous comp is Now That's What I Call Music! and England's already up to Now 53 in the series. (That's right, we stole the idea.) If you think it's just kids buying sugary kid stuff, go hit a pub anywhere in England. The social space is the blueprint for the product—pubs themselves are compilations. Unlike those American bars that nurture misanthropy by keeping everyone drunk in near darkness, English pubs are often light and spacious. Some even have gardens out back, and many do plenty of business during daylight hours. Families have dinner, students meet for drinks, kids run around the pool table, and gnarled football nuts plunk down an empty glass, walk over to the jukebox and put on Kylie or Robbie at all times of day and night. Yeah, mate, dance pop. Nice beat, I can sing along, the missus enjoys it. Wot are you looking at?