The Mormons

How abt: demonic spirits will decline to shake yr hand.

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x-post something about satan having stewardship over the ocean and jesus getting land. and it used to be the other way around, but they traded.

(Preface: I'm not making veiled generalizations about any group, I disapprove of organized religion but am not confrontational unless the other party is. That said...)

I once had a gaggle of Mormons working with me in a restaurant once. They were all really nice, but really really REALLY dumb. Of course being in a mexican restaurant alcohol sales were (supposed to be) high, and one of them was asked what kind of Merlot we had and they responded "Chardonnay".

The best was (and I was friendly with this guy, but the wheels just weren't turning) when this one server got stung by the cops--ya know, where an undercover cop comes in with a guest who is under 21 and the guest tries to order a drink.

The dude does the SMART thing and takes the dude's driver's license..SEES the birthdate and that the kid is SIXTEEN YEARS OLD...leaves the table...AND BRINGS THE DRINK AND SETS IT DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM. Escorted out of the building in cuffs and terminated!

They used to try to preach their religion to anybody who'd listen. I always found an excuse to walk away.

KOLOB

x-post bjo otm!

Haha those stings were always GREAT at my restaurant. Suspicious dude comes in, sits down. The kid would come in two minutes later, obviously Mormon and clearly not know what the hell abt drinks. "Uh, yeah, can I get a plain beer? To go?" *bartender sighs* "Let me see your ID." Kid denied, cop leaves 2 minutes later. CLASSIC.

yea you'd think they'd never work but two people at least in my duration in restaurants got canned for it.

BTW I JUST SAW 'ORGAZMO' DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD

plain beer! Hahahaha!

serves the cops right. Stings (at least that kind) are the stupidest thing on the planet.

"Say, we haven't received enough money in misdemeanor fines this month...you know the drill."

one of the guys was talking about the sport of extreme sledding and the other guy was happily incredulous while the girls were being pleasant. they got hot

You should have just ended here.

Logan, Utah, is a splendid place for the views. Odd people, though.

i went to SLC last winter for skiing with we went to a "private club" one night. my membership card was a post-it note with a check mark.

not mormon but utah-related. and very funny to me.

All the bars are "private clubs for members," it's the only way they can serve liquor.

When I first started listening to the radio there, all the ads for bars ended with "a private club for members," as did all the newspaper ads. "What a pompous fucking town," I thought. BEFORE I KNEW THE SHOCKING TRUTH.

i know, but it's still shocking! i went with about ten other people, and i was the only one who needed a membership card. or maybe because everybody else was at least 20 years older and it was an id card to verify my age. whatever it was, the guy made it with a post-it note and a ballpoint pen.

lol xp

beautiful land, though. too bad SLC is so ugly unless you look up.

really, they are a punkass cult that has bent over for the US government several times and radically changed their core beliefs through incredibly convenient "revelations". I don't care how nice some of them are, on some level they are all jerks.

How are they different from any other religious fundies in this sense though? Except that their religion was founded a bit later than most others.

yeah, the private club thing is pretty annoying and is sort of arbitrarily enforced. technically, the doorman/bartenders/club employees can 'sponsor' anyone they want and get them in the club w/o making them pay for a year-long membership - but it varies by bar and doorman.

strgn is OTM about SLC being the best place to live here. as for mormons, they can be both very generous/helpful and also very exclusive. i grew up mormon and most of my friends growing up were not mormon, but i also knew kids who weren't allowed to play w/ 'non-members'. which is lame, but there are paranoid people of all types.

as a kid, I was all buddy-buddy with several other mormon kids cuz we were all outcasts/misfits from the mainstream culture. It wasn't until midway through high school (and a visit to the mormon tabernacle/SLC) that I was all like "lolz mormon underwear" etc

(should be "as a JEWISH kid")

magical jewish underwear?

e.g. boxer-briefs?

Dear 6335, are you still Mormon? I grew up in it and no longer am in it. My parents wouldn't let me hang out with non-Mormons or fat Mormons. !!!

i stopped attending about 11-12 years ago, but technically, yeah! i never had my name removed from the records. why the ban on fat mormons?

when I was a kid all the adult mormon adult women I knew were fat moms with short hair. I thought it was just how they were.

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haha i was going to make a list of 'bad mormon' movies i never saw, but i could only remember two and elvis telecom got the second (first was ORGAZMO of course)

no first is Napoleon Dynamite

(well its the number 1 bad mormon movie on my list anyway)

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Mormons invented TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR!

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my father-in-law is mormon and he rocks.

is he a jackrabbit mormon?

The man brags about the fact that coffee has never touched his lips.

Beefeater Gin has, though.

A Mormon speaks!

fwiw napoleon dynamite is pretty much the opposite of a bad mormon movie.

i wonder what gordon b. and mitt romney fantasize about over casserole

celestial virgins of kolob

I see no problem with that answer

Dude he said something like "I am not a Mormon running for president, I'm a man running for president who was born a Mormon."

OOOOOOoooo that's gonna lose points with the Mormons! I mean, I could say that! Korihor could say that! That kinda distancing is crepey somehow, god, bcz if there's anything I know abt Mormons is if you don't wear your membership on your sleeve they will get SHIFTY-EYED SUSPICIOUS of that member.

Haven't read the whole thread so maybe it's been mentioned but if it hasn't, have a read at this and watch the video http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/justinwebb/

and the comments http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/justinwebb/2007/12/unchristian_behaviour.html#commentsanchor

A British (Catholic) academic friend recently blogged:

Mormonism is (apart from the anti-Gay bit) a really NICE religion. It encourages group solidarity; it does NOT condemn all non-Mormons to hell (just a less nice heaven); Mormon architecture is on the edge of the camp and inspiration, but it is pretty great over all. Despite all this, I think Joseph Smith was a fraud from upstate New York. Why don't I think this about all founders of religions?

Mormonism is (apart from the anti-Gay bit) a really NICE religion. It encourages group solidarity; it does NOT condemn all non-Mormons to hell (just a less nice heaven);

See though that would be worse for me. Being teased with something "good" when I could have achieved something "great" messes with my competitive nature.

Reviving because the typical cult-standoff story has mushroomed into a, well, HFS story

More than 400 children, mostly girls in pioneer dresses, were swept into state custody from a polygamist sect in what authorities described Monday as the largest child-welfare operation in Texas history.

The dayslong raid on the sprawling compound built by now-jailed polygamist leader Warren Jeffs was sparked by a 16-year-old girl's call to authorities that she was being abused and that girls as young as 14 and 15 were being forced into marriages with much older men.

Dressed in home-sewn, ankle-length dresses with their hair pinned up in braids, some 133 women left the Yearning for Zion Ranch of their own volition along with the children.

State troopers were holding an unknown number of men in the compound until investigators finished executing a house-to-house search of the 1,700-acre property, which includes a medical facility, numerous large housing units and an 80-foot white limestone temple that rises discordantly out of the brown scrub.

"In my opinion, this is the largest endeavor we've ever been involved in in the state of Texas," said Children's Protective Services spokesman Marleigh Meisner, who said she was also involved in the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco.

The members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints spent their days raising numerous children, tilling small gardens and doing chores. But at least one former resident says life was not some idyllic replica of 19th-century life.

"Once you go into the compound, you don't ever leave it," said Carolyn Jessop, one of the wives of the alleged leader of the Eldorado complex. Jessop left with her eight children before the sect moved to Texas.
Jessop said the community emphasized self-sufficiency because they believed the apocalypse was near.

BY-PRODUCTS OF MORMON CULTURE

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i have found a planet full of Mormon babez