Why Do (some) Men Hate Women?

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how much do you wanna guess these are all the same person

jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 6 February 2003 06:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

I bet they are all the person from the pubic hair trimming thread too.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 6 February 2003 06:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

stephen, i find it unlikely that a woman would get my job, regardless of how well qualified she was or how good at her job...

...the last 2 times people were interviewed for jobs in my bit of the company, its been expressly said, "well, you wouldnt really want a girl working here would you? i mean, if shed gone and done something youd need to go and check cuz you wouldnt trust itd been done properly".

last time we interviewed there was a girl, she was the most qualified of the 7 candidates, and the only one with hands on experience. she didnt get the job

gareth (gareth), Thursday, 6 February 2003 07:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Gareth, I would say that someone in your company needs to get done for sexual discrimination.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 6 February 2003 09:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

the person who said that is at my level, he is not responsible for the hiring.

the way most jobs work is, not who is the most skilled, but who will 'fit in' the most. this is why my team is 6 straight white males

gareth (gareth), Thursday, 6 February 2003 10:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think both women and men have responsibilities in birth control. Perhaps the woman could pay for (and take) birth control pills and the man supply the condoms? Better safe than sorry, right? Or the man pay for the b.c. pills and his gf keep up with taking them on time, etc...

I truly feel the tide has turned, and women have more rights than men!
Stephen- Where are you from?
This does not have to be a competition. It's about equal rights.

lizzie, Please stop shouting! :)

Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 February 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Estela-- Thank you for proving my point, male issues are a joking matter to some. Have you auditioned for letterman? If you ever feel like dropping your Abbot and Costello routine, let me know, and we can have a serious debate. This reminds me of those bumper stickers that say "men have feelings too, but who cares!" I guess women truly feel that way.
Jess-- I can assure, that I am not Estela, Lizzie Anthony, or anyone else!
Sarah, I am from the northeast USA, And yes i truly believe that equality is not the goal, superiority is!

Stephen Ancroid, Thursday, 6 February 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

If you are a male reporter, and you want to see naked women as part of your job, forget about sports, and start covering the fasion world!
If you have ever been behind the stage at a fashion show, you will see women changing their clothes in front of dozens of men! Make up people, designers, reporters, photographers, hair stylists, etc>> They have absolutely no privacy, just like male atheletes!

Brock, Thursday, 6 February 2003 20:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've heard a lot of people over the years suggest that feminism has gone too far and women are on top now. They have been, without a single exception, misogynistic and stupid.

Number of countries where women earn as much as men: zero. Number of women in the top 100 earning directors in the UK: zero. Number of women killed a year by their male partners in the UK: >100.

Obviously that doesn't weigh much against female reporters being allowed into male locker rooms...

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 6 February 2003 21:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

This reminds me of those bumper stickers that say "men have feelings too, but who cares!" I guess women truly feel that way.

what, all women?

i guess all guys like baseball too? gee, how about those knicks!

gareth (gareth), Thursday, 6 February 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

FUNNIEST COMEBACK EVER!

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 February 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

I agree with everything Martin said.


Stephen Ancroid, I wasn't joking, I was too irritable to be making jokes. Why don't you haul your Thai penis-severing "epidemic" over to the 'Make a bold claim' thread? To imply that Thailand is in the grips of extreme feminism, when the truth is that many Thai women and children are living lives of sexual enslavement, is patently ridiculous.

I don't care too much about the great locker room scandal. I see it as pre- rather than post-feminist, with the discrepancy based in the idea that men are seeing subjects and women are looked-upon objects. A subject would not be diminished by an object, therefore there could be no loss of power for a naked man who was confronted by a women, but the reverse would not be true. I think women would like to have the freedom to walk around freely in their bodies without being harrassed and objectified. It is sort of a cheek for men to complain about this issue.

I agree there are problems with family law, but I do think women, notable exceptions aside, still bear the main brunt of child-rearing and the law is trying to equitably address this (although indisputably failing in some instances). More women are living in poverty due to parenthood than men.

Finally, I don't think hatred between men and women solves any of these problems. I take issue with you coming on to a thread titled "Why do (some) men hate women" and raising these dubious points, the inference being that they justify misogyny.

estela, Thursday, 6 February 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

I agree that the locker room issue is irrelivant to the gender equality issue, but there is something I would like to add. The problem there stems from the fact that reporters think their rights overrule anyone else's. Not just sports reporters but the entire media. How often have you seen a reporter shove a mic into the face of a grieving relative of a murder victim?

DJ, Friday, 7 February 2003 00:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

Worse still, their crotch

N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 7 February 2003 00:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

now *that* i haven't seen

electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 7 February 2003 02:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

The best position for women is on their backs, with their legs spread!

Ralfus, Friday, 7 February 2003 21:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

Who'd have thought a thread of this quality would attract idiot trolls?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 7 February 2003 21:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nothing worse than a male feminist marty! How is the Phil Donahue club?

Ralfus, Saturday, 8 February 2003 01:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Abusive men deserve to have their penis cut off. If any man ever lays a hand on me, he'd better start sleeping on his stomach.

Heather L, Saturday, 8 February 2003 03:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

Abusive men deserve to have their penis cut off.

With what form of sexual violence should abusive women be punished, then?

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 04:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

you can mutilate their vagina and render it useless!

Irv, Saturday, 8 February 2003 04:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

Where did all of these posters come from anyway?

I think the angle of Heather's statment might be along the lines of "if thy hand offends thee cut it off." (or something)

When a man uses his penis as a weapon to assault others many people (not just victims) have a primal urge to deprive him of this weapon. Have you never, at any time or on any level, thought of hurting a child rapist?

However one of the things that makes our system of government great is that we have a judicial system that, ideally, acts objectively and keeps the rights of even the accused in mind. If victims and their loved ones were allowed to mete out justice there would be a lot of hobbled assholes walking around this world.

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 February 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've certainly thought of hurting a child rapist, and I understand the desire to remove the instrument of assault. That being said:
(1) Heather didn't say a word about sexual violence -- in fact, her post specifically implied physical abuse.
(2) I think that you could find a whole lot of people who would still want to see a man castrated/see his penis removed for a sexual crime that didn't involve his penis -- fondling of a child, for instance -- but you probably couldn't find much of anyone who'd want to give a clitoridectomy to a woman who committed the same crime. And I think that ties in to all kinds of toxic assumptions about male sexuality being at root this pernicious, predatory thing, whereas female sexuality embodies the opposite. (Assumptions such as these are damaging to both sexes.)
(3) This is probably the main reason why I posted: there have been a whole bunch of penis-severing references on ILE lately, many of which have nothing to do with sexual violence or explicit behavior; in one case, a poster suggested "Bobbitizing" a man who slept with his partner and then broke up with her. I think that -- counterintuitive as it may seem -- letting that sort of thing slide, dismissing it as harmless fun, etc., contributes massively to perpetuating all of the negative gender stereotypes and assumptions that we all, ostensibly, would like to do away with. (It also ties in with the general tendency in our culture at large to view physical violence, public humiliation, etc. against a man who (for instance) cheats as an appropriate method of retaliation. There's an ad currently running where a woman uses a voodoo website to inflict pain on her ex-boyfriend, shrink his head, and so on; how many of us would find that acceptable were the genders reversed? I hope quite few.) I really do think that, ultimately, letting these things go is to the detriment of both genders -- both because it encourages a climate of bad faith and because it subtly reinforces all kinds of ugly things.

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ugh, that needed editing -- change "explicit" to "explicitly abusive", and "I hope quite few" to "I'd imagine quite few".

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

i think if there is a surplus of dick-cutting jokes on ILx it's b/c dicks stick out, can be funny, and are easy to inflict pain on.

And also b/c ILx is a passel of irreverant, tasteless, incorrigable cockfarmers.

need i say more?

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

What's a passel?

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 05:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

(Yes-I-know-I-can-look-it-up-but-I-thought-it'd-be-more-fun-to-ask)

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 06:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

n. informal A large quantity or group.

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 February 2003 06:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

I take your points, Phil, but the fact of the matter is that we are living in a world where men inflict colossally more violence on women than vice versa, up to and including rape and murder, and are penalised far less for it than on the rare occasions where the women perpetrate the violence. In that context, I can't worry too much about a few comments that I didn't take seriously about lopping off dicks.

I barely know who Phil Donahue is - an American talk show host, yes? Is he a feminist?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 February 2003 12:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

I guess I just don't agree, Martin.

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 15:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

With what, Phil? You surely don't think that women inflict as much violence on men as men do on women, do you? That's not an opinion that can be supported by the facts. If you mean that those facts still don't make discussion of chopping off dicks trivial, well I can accept that. Besides any other reasoning, my 'there are worse things' argument is a generally poor one, leading to considering almost everything unimportant. Obviously I'm a man and I'm all in favour of maximum disincentives to anyone considering cutting off penises, I just don't think it's such a frequent problem, nor do I think anyone here was advocating it in any terribly serious way.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 February 2003 16:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

If you mean that those facts still don't make discussion of chopping off dicks trivial, well I can accept that.

Good -- I can agree with that. :-)

I was preparing a longer post (I haven't decided whether I'll post it yet), but basically, my feeling is that cultural attitudes towards sexual violence against men, and sexual violence against women, are, if not two sides of the same coin, then at least very deeply related, and that it'll be exceedingly difficult to build the kind of society we'd like if we don't acknowledge that. (How are they related? Not just in a Newtonian way, but also as symptoms of the same fundamental human failure to treat other human lives with reverence and respect.)

(And no, I'm not under the impression that there's an epidemic of penis-severing going on!)

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 16:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, I think there is more relationship than is generally acknowledged, especially in that the expectations and assumptions about both sexes are a product of the sexist world in which we live, and they have bad effects on both sexes. The adverse effects on women have historically been the greater, and have perhaps been better highlighted in recent years, but there is a flipside. It's hard enough for women to talk about being raped, but I guess it's even harder for men, for instance. Yes, and in your point (too often forgotten) that a lot of violence against either sex is about misanthropy rather than a specific hatred of that sex.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 February 2003 16:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I agree!

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 17:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Why do men hate women?
I seriously think that it has something to do with sex-integrated
public schooling. Pre-adolescent girls outstrip boys
so completely, physically and mentally, that it's hard not to
have an inferiority complex which can manifest itself in
disregard or even hatred. Not to mention laws forbidding the
education of girls or women.

Another factor: divorce. It's such a harmful thing; there
are published studies that show that broken-home kids
are generally unhappier than nuclear kids; but I go further
and theorize (not from personal experience, but from the
anecdotal evidence of discussing this with other boys and
men))Many boys learn to despise their mothers and blame them
for "ditching dad" no matter what the circumstances - even
if the mother was justified; it's even worse when the
divorce is frivolous...

Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Saturday, 8 February 2003 18:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Both of those things are, historically speaking, relatively new inventions. I don't think misogyny is at all new, so I'm not sure I can see much sense there. Anyway, why would kids not blame dad for ditching mom just as often - more often probably, since they generally spend far more time with mom and therefore hear her side of things more?

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 February 2003 19:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Martin, I have to agree that sexual violence is more commen to women, but that does not make it "trivial" when it does happen to a man, and my main point is men who do get sexuallly attacked should not be laughed at, and be the butt of jokes for stand up comedians! And women who are guilty, should recieve the same sentences as men. I am sure you all remember the Bobbitt incident, but a lesser known case happened right around the same time, a surgeon whose wife was cheating on him, gave her an injection to put her asleep, and proceeded to sew her vagina shut. He recieved 20 years in prison. As we all know Lorena Bobbitt recieved a few months in a mental hospital. Please explain to me the difference here.

Stephen Ancroid, Saturday, 8 February 2003 20:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Skidmore - I dunno why boys would side with their dads,
it just seems to be that way, from talking to them.
Although the divorce problem is a relatively new thing -
well, so is the rampant misogyny of hip-hop; most big
rappers have deadbeat/missing/unknown fathers don't they?

Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Saturday, 8 February 2003 21:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

most big
rappers have deadbeat/missing/unknown fathers don't they?

That was a racist thing to say squirrel.

Irv, Saturday, 8 February 2003 21:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Stephen, I know nothing of those cases (I vaguely remember the Bobbit one is all), but the clue is surely not just in the times but the locations of their respective imprisonments: I take it Lorena Bobbit was ajudged insane and therefore not sentenced to a prison sentence. I have no idea if she, or the man in the other case, should have been so judged, but that sidesteps any sentencing, it doesn't show that sentencing was too light. And if you look at what I said above - "I'm all in favour of maximum disincentives to anyone considering cutting off penises" - you'll see that I'm not at all trying to support low sentences for this.

When it comes to murder by a partner in this country, the favouritism seems to go the other way - there are multiple cases of men successfully arguing provocation on the basis of infidelity or nagging (yes, nagging!), whereas years of serious physical and mental and sexual abuse has been repeatedly rejected as provocation.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 8 February 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

and my main point is men who do get sexuallly attacked should not be laughed at, and be the butt of jokes for stand up comedians!

Who's laughing and making jokes? Other men! No one who's been the victim of sexual violence would make these jokes. So that means the "1 in 3 women" who are such victims are not the cause of any trivilization.

That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 February 2003 22:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

I suspect John Bobbit became a laughing stock because he didn't have a penis anymore. It wasn't the severance that amused people but the 'lack' in him brought about by the amputation.

Most insults involve a threat of being lessened by the act of penetration: get fucked, you suck, blow me, etc, etc. Also, generally the worst thing you can call someone is a cunt. Women and gay men are objects of derision in our discourse because they are on the receiving end of the phallus. When Bobbit lost his penis he lost his stature. I agree it was mainly men making most of the jokes; I don't think it is funny to be considered inferior because you either don't have a penis or because you have had one inside you.

estela, Saturday, 8 February 2003 22:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Who's laughing and making jokes? Other men! No one who's been the victim of sexual violence would make these jokes.

That's just not true. I've known more than one woman who, when hearing of the conviction of a man of whom she thought ill, jokingly suggested he be careful not to "drop the soap". There are plenty of movies where a cheating husband receives a blow to the groin, or worse, from his partner, and it's almost invariably treated as an empowering gesture. One of the signature moves of the lesbian comic strip character Hothead Paisan was a kick to the groin of any man who crossed her -- and it's been years since I saw the comic, but even in Hothead Paisan's comic world I don't think every single man who received one of those kicks was a rapist or pedophile. And as I said above, there have been posters who have been making jokes on ILE about cutting off men's penises, and those posters have been female.

Phil (phil), Saturday, 8 February 2003 23:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

When it comes to sexual crimes, female offenders do tend to recieve a slap on the wrist. There was a female school teacher not far from me, who was convicted of having sex with a 14 year old male student, she recieved 5 to 10 years, but was released after 2. certainly a male school teacher who had sex with a 14 year old female would recieve a life sentence.

DJ, Sunday, 9 February 2003 00:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not in Britain (don't know where you are) - I can't give you detailed facts and figures, but never life, and there have certainly been such cases where sentences have been months rather than years.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 9 February 2003 00:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

re: Irv

I think it was very shocking for you to accuse me of
racism.

Any explanation for this shocking and apparently
unfounded accusation?

When did race enter the discussion?

I just know I'm a "Behind the Music" junkie and most
of the big rappers seem to come from broken homes.
I've seen the statistics; Regardless of race, the inner
city poor have a lot of familial problems that go along
with their other social problems.

Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Sunday, 9 February 2003 00:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

Martin. I have been searching the net and have found dozens of cases where women recieved a slap on the wrist, while men recieved long prison terms for similar crimes.

DJ, Sunday, 9 February 2003 02:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hothead Paisan is on the fringes. You cannot use that strip in an arguement to convince anyone that there is systemic man-hating in society. Come on.

re: women who sleep w/young boys and relatively light sentences. The attitude I hear a lot is almost a winking "well, she's doing those boys a good service", kind of thing--again, a predominantly male viewpoint. This attitude I think is largely responsible for lighter sentencing in these cases.

That Girl (thatgirl), Sunday, 9 February 2003 02:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

That girl, it was a female judge in the case near my town.

DJ, Sunday, 9 February 2003 02:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah for sure the whole "lucky bugger" thing is a factor in sentences, further to this inequality a wider issue also often asrises. While femimists have been sucessful in overhauling discriminatory laws against women there are a raft of laws in many western countires that are unfair and discriminatory against men which remain unchanged and outdated.

These are wide ranging from custody arrangements and child support arangements to sexual and violence charges that only exist for men and not women, to complusary millitary service/draft laws for men. Visit any "mens rights/activism" forum to hear bitter divorced men moan endlessly about such hypocrisay and unfairness....

I dont blame women for such inequality but rather the apathy of men in to such issues, generally discrimination and equality in society is viewed by many males as a female/race issue not a male one.

kiwi, Sunday, 9 February 2003 02:56 (twenty-one years ago) link


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