Gays, its summer 2010 so... EVERYBODY TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS

and when i say grab-ass i mean like really digging your fingers in there

~~~nostalgia~~~

woah! that sounds like a lot of fun.

The thought of another man -- let alone the friend on whom I'd a serious crush in senior year high school -- laying a finger on me was too exotic and frightening to even contemplate. It didn't even occur to me. I was more non-heterosexual than gay.

I meant to ask steve & j0e if they wanted to see any Ludlam films.

http://anthologyfilmarchives.org/film_screenings/programs/retrospectives/charles-ludlam

elmo i think i found me a movie u would enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKDAacQjPbA

lol that looks bad from the screenshot but srsly

noted!

would see that movie.

They didn't make us shower in middle school/high school so I had to get more creative

PS- a former prof of mine just gave me a shitload of designer clothes, plus some rare peasant items from Paris. i am now the proud owner of Comme des Garcons men's skirt much like the one in the middle here:
http://images.nymag.com/images/2/daily/fashion/08/07/28_skittedmen_lg.jpg

plus some other awesome shit.

Question for everyone who is out to their parents: were they blindsided at all by you coming out? Did they suspect you were gay and deny it? How did this play into your post-coming out relationship?

Cuz I'm 90% positive that my parents know I'm gay.

Mom was devastated -- sobbed, hugged herself, shut herself for a week alone in the house, the whole schmeal (I only learned about the latter from my sis). I suspect for her it was the final crumbling of a supreme fiction.

Whereas Dad smiled thinly, sadly, to himself and mumbled, "I know. I knew it." He delivered the ultimatum the next morning.

Ultimatum?

My coming out was so boring. And they both knew.

Not so much an ultimatum as an exchange of favors: if I were to bring a putative boyfriend to a family gathering, extend my dad the courtesy of letting him know so he can leave.

My mom asked me before I moved "You need to tell me — are you gay?" I said yes, she laughed and said "you think I don't know that?". I've mentioned here before that her brother (my uncle) was gay, so she knows all about the struggle and shame, and I love her for it — and my other family members are fine with it too.

Unrelated: Today I told the cute nerdy guy at work I was going to Whole Foods for lunch and he asked he if could tag along and I was like "!!!", but it turns out he was straight and just wanted to chat, which I appreciated too. It's nice not to be the one making all the effort to befriend someone and have them meet you halfway for a change.

So Jordan you should tell them, it will remove a lot of stress from your life (I hope, anyway).

so nice of your mom just to ask, then laugh. i think i like her.

I'm leery of counseling him otherwise. Every dynamic is different. I told him two years ago and I'm not sure it made a damn bit of difference. Our relationship is probably better than ever, but it's got fuck-all to do with my coming out to them; it's age, comfort, and experience.

It's actually not that stressful for me tbh, just sorta feel like it's "time"

i told my mum and she went "okay" then we never mentioned it again til i had a boyf.

if it's time it's time.

yeah. you're a senior in college right? that's when i did it.

anyway, my dad had the same reaction that Alfred's did, minus the ultimatum. weird.

My gayness doesn't intersect at all with our shared lives, which of course is the problem: it's noticeable by its absence. Thus, while I'm relieved I finally told them an independent observer couldn't gauge the benefits to each side. I don't see any real change until I have a serious lover whom I insist on their meeting.

When you get to that point where "it's time," there's absolutely no stopping it. It was, iirc, kind of a rush.

i've showed them pictures of my two boyfs.

plus they met se4n in person, and were like, 'he your special friend.' and it was weird.

I've actually only told two ppl irl, then two more via AIM. everyone else found out from those four people, one way or another.

When you get to that point where "it's time," there's absolutely no stopping it. It was, iirc, kind of a rush.

OTM. I did it after several glasses of wine. It felt like I was reading a script of my own movie, I'd rehearsed it so many times. I was hovering above my body watching myself.

I only had pretty much two good friends at the time and I told both of them, and pretty much made it apparent online through FB or whatever (that sounds dorky, I know).

this was years before I told my family btw

I've been out to close friends since summer 08, everyone else p much summer 09 and no family as of now

I did a few close friends one night in the summer between freshman and sophomore year and then family the next day. Knowing my parents were save territory, I knew I needed to do them the favor early on.

safe territory

my parents and i smoked cigarettes right after. it was kind of funny.

then i went and got drunk and did tons of free blow all night.

thoooose were the days, hahaha.

my parents and i smoked cigarettes right after

Haha. Same here.

Yeah. When it's time, it's time. I did just over a year and a half ago, before I got around to the actual reality of being gay in any practical sense, but once I got all my mental ducks in a row and got past all my bullshit, it just sort of happened. Started with like...my three best friends, and within two weeks there was this rush/relief of finally TELLING people. (Not necessarily recommended for everyone/anyone, but you know...you come out when and how you need to. Unless you're a high-ranking member of the Christian Right.)

Anyway, debating my Friday night.

TS: Low-key night in with some wine and a book vs. Body-Painting Party with a bunch of naked hipsters.

The latter, in a heartbeat.

wtf how are you even debating

Um...because it's 12$, and I'm not sure if my friends are going or not. Also, sometimes you just need a break from your crazy hipster neighbourhood.

This Tuesday I lent my speakers to a friend of mine for a screening of a XXX comedy porn called The Cumming of Jizzus at another friend's loft. It's just been that kind of week.

But, yeah, fair enough.

Alex, come to my place: we'll have a glass of white wine before I drive us out to South Beach. I got this pair of jeans that'll make us irresistable.

Huh? I'm confused.

lol. yeah i understand.

I know a place where no hipsters go.

Elko, Nevada?

Hmm. Well, I'm heading home from a family dinner in the 'burbs, so if I get back to my place early enough, then I'll chance it.

hey, gays, join me in saying bye to J0rdan, who returns to Mizzou with a heavy heart. I'll miss him!

Not much diff in air miles to NYC, so I'm not really feelin' yr pain.

My dad was mortally ill before I really started having sex with men, and my mom is an 82-year-old Irish Catholic bingo lady who never even talks about straight sex. So I hate to fly in the face of all that is right and good -- no, actually, I love it -- but there was never any point in telling either of them. Besides my being unboyfriendable.

my coming out was totally bloodless. came out to close friends late 08, decided it wasn't really any sort of secret anymore by spring 09, came out to my immediate fam on my bday that june. still not really out to extended fam except for those who are on my facebook, but i'm sure word has gotten around some and i'm not worried about it either way. the real hurdle for me was coming out to myself, not anybody else

btw ted a punk friend of mine is moving to oakland

I was going to meet up with this guy tonight, but I just messaged him apologizing that I really didn't feel like doing anything after all. He wasn't really my type anyway. :\