mercury in retrograde fuckin shit up
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Saturday, 21 August 2010 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link
this is what im sayin
― plax (ico), Saturday, 21 August 2010 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link
the other day I got the first inklings of fall via a cool breeze
― Count Scrofula (corey), Saturday, 21 August 2010 19:49 (fourteen years ago) link
mmm...fall.
it's the first fall ever where i'm not going back to school? uh, woah. that's weird.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Saturday, 21 August 2010 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
Morbs, when does the season end? I will see what I can do!
― Chanté Ackerman (Stevie D), Sunday, 22 August 2010 00:15 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.newarkbears.com/schedule/games/
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 22 August 2010 00:40 (fourteen years ago) link
for morbs, just in case you don't open the giants thread on ILBB
http://i35.tinypic.com/27yykch.png
― J0rdan S., Sunday, 22 August 2010 04:29 (fourteen years ago) link
:D
― welcome back, ma$ed god (The Reverend), Sunday, 22 August 2010 05:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I dont get it, J0rd, I'm generally happy when weed fiends are set back
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 22 August 2010 07:54 (fourteen years ago) link
um, kinda really confused and fucked-up here.
m4tt and i had a talk last night, and it was okay, but not really. i mean, what do you say when someone tells you that you're too good for them, and that they don't want to hold you back in a relationship, but also don't want things to change much? like, a downgrade from 'boyfriend' to 'lover and best friend'? we need to talk more, but christ, i am reeling over here. plus there's the whole added thing that we slept together last night, and this morning we engaged in some of the most intensely passionate oral i've ever experienced.
WHAT THE FUCK.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link
also, the conversation ended when we mutually told each other that we cared about each other more than anyone in the world, then he sort of fell into my arms and promptly went sleepies.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 18:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Sounds like he wants to marry you.
― 2 + 2 is vah-gi-nah (Eric H.), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm just going to ask him straight up, "what do you want to change?" like, if he wants things to stay the way they are but not be in a 'boyfriend' commitment situation, that's fine by me. but i don't really know what he was getting at.
that said, he has been having some problems recently with going off certain medicines and getting on certain medicines and etc. it might just be weird mood shit.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:12 (fourteen years ago) link
sorry to un-lurk - but it sounds like he wants reassurance
― sarahel, Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, "I'm not good enough for you" is basically a request for a "yes, you are" response. Even if it feels stupid and unnecessary. The show-don't-tell rule doesn't apply 100 percent of the time, no matter how mind- and nut-blowingly good the oral is.
― 2 + 2 is vah-gi-nah (Eric H.), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link
sounds like he doesn't want it to get too heavy, but really enjoys being with you at the same time
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link
and i want to reassure him. he needs someone, despite saying that he feels alone and needs to be alone and thinks he's dragging me down. he's not dragging me down— the thought of not having him in my life is positively crushing, at least at this point.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:16 (fourteen years ago) link
i mean it's basically him being like, "i'm a manic-depressive drug addict and you're way too good for my fucked-upness, but i love you." and my response is "i don't care how fucked up you are, i fucking adore you"
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link
"i'm not good enough for you" can also be code for something else. kind of a bs line tbh.
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:18 (fourteen years ago) link
i mean, you know best, but why are you reeling? are you afraid he's having second thoughts?
xpost It's a masking line, but not that inaccurate. I am repeatedly amazed at the ludicrous idea of someone being interested in me.
― 2 + 2 is vah-gi-nah (Eric H.), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:19 (fourteen years ago) link
(Well, not "repeatedly" in the sense that it's like often, but when it seems incongruously intense.)
― 2 + 2 is vah-gi-nah (Eric H.), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:20 (fourteen years ago) link
does he want to be less fucked-up? is it about him being unsure or insecure about making major life choices and whether he should deal with it alone and/or what role he wants you to play in this/what role you are up for in this?
― sarahel, Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:21 (fourteen years ago) link
just that wording makes it sound like m@tt wants to have his cake and eat it too, but without the pressure of expectations
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:22 (fourteen years ago) link
aw T - i just remember when you were in NYC not this most recent time, but the time before - and M@tt came to a show, and he seemed kinda sad and mopey, like he was totally missing you.
― sarahel, Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:23 (fourteen years ago) link
i don't think he's having second thoughts. i'm more afraid that he's retreating into himself, and um...not to get into his DSM-IV.2 or whatever, but that isn't good.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:27 (fourteen years ago) link
sarahel, yeah, i think that's it re: the insecurity about what role i can or want to play in him getting less fucked-up.
btw, we just exchanged txts and he's still like 'come visit me at work today, hope you're having a good one.' i mean, it obv isn't a break-up scenario, but something else....
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:29 (fourteen years ago) link
if the idea of a downgrade in commitment is freaking you out, i would suggest being more assertive about what you want out of the situation, and going after him. it's obvious you think he's worth it.
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link
mental illness is scary enough for the person who suffers from it, and being in a committed loving relationship and wanting to get better is scary because it's something that the mentally ill person can fuck up, not just for themself, but for the person that they love. I dunno if he has guilt issues ... but ... i've been in his position when i was a lot younger and it didn't end well.
― sarahel, Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:32 (fourteen years ago) link
do you think the conversation he initiated was more about your relationship than his mental baggage, or the other way around?
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:37 (fourteen years ago) link
both v different problems
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link
i understand that it's scary. (disclosure: after a long relationship and break up last year, he tried to turn himself in, if you get my veiled wording). but as someone who has also been on both sides of the equation, i want to be there. i'd rather get hurt by him in helping him than get hurt by him otherwise.
anyway, i'm seeing him later, it'll be a talk.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link
yea just be honest with yourself, i would say. about what you both want.
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link
if you want to hang or whatever, lemme know - but you've also got plenty of other irl supportive friends, too!
― sarahel, Sunday, 22 August 2010 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link
hey sarah, thanks. we shld totally get drinks sometime.
and surm, yeah, i think honesty is key word here.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link
i'd rather get hurt by him in helping him than get hurt by him otherwise.
this is a very healthy attitude imo
― d4n, d4n, d4n (yausah, yausah, yausah) (The Reverend), Sunday, 22 August 2010 20:10 (fourteen years ago) link
talk went well. we split a burger and hashed it out. so! :D
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 23:22 (fourteen years ago) link
yay!
― d4n, d4n, d4n (yaosah, yaosah, yaosah) (The Reverend), Sunday, 22 August 2010 23:23 (fourteen years ago) link
isn't splitting a burger the best
congratulation
― janice (surm), Sunday, 22 August 2010 23:25 (fourteen years ago) link
it is the best! it was just a really nice talk.
ily's were said.
feeling a lot better now. thanks for all the support, friends.
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Sunday, 22 August 2010 23:28 (fourteen years ago) link
and thx for getting me in the mood for beef
thx a whole fucking lot
― janice (surm), Monday, 23 August 2010 00:24 (fourteen years ago) link
;)
mmm burger and hash.
Glad it worked out, tabes. I got to this conversation too late but it sounded to me earlier like all you guys needed was a tete a tete, especially after this morning's head a head.
― Gucci Mane hermeneuticist (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 23 August 2010 00:31 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Monday, 23 August 2010 00:37 (fourteen years ago) link
fluffy buns
― baseball michael jordan (crüt), Monday, 23 August 2010 00:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Old people leering.
― Gucci Mane hermeneuticist (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 23 August 2010 00:40 (fourteen years ago) link
hey, former lover on the cover of SPANK magazine:http://spankzine.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/spank16-cover1.jpg?w=750&h=755
― johnsons in my pubescence, other than my own (the table is the table), Monday, 23 August 2010 20:25 (fourteen years ago) link
hey, has anyone heard from r@mzi after he ground his jaw to death last night?
― Gucci Mane hermeneuticist (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 23 August 2010 21:35 (fourteen years ago) link
what?
― Count Scrofula (corey), Monday, 23 August 2010 21:36 (fourteen years ago) link
i'm fine thanks
― janice (surm), Monday, 23 August 2010 21:37 (fourteen years ago) link