Great Real Names

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A man I used to work with in South Africa: Churchill Breakfast

And she was 5 at the time I knew her and too young and innocent to realize the hell that lay ahead of her: Paja3 (pronounced Pa-zhay) Schl3busch. Can you say that out loud without spit flying all over your monitor? I can't.

― Surfer_Stone_Rosalita (Surfer_Stone_Rosalita), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:58 (eighteen years ago) link

My favourite ludicrous World Cup name so far is Switzerland's Tranquillo Barnetta.

(consulting Ghana page of my Panini sticker book, I also like Asamoah Frimpong and John Pantsil)

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Am fond of Gilles Yapi Yapo too and looking forward to commentators/pundits getting to grips with some of the names of the Iranian sqaud, esp. Sohrab Bakhtiarizadeh

― Who Are You... The Nerve... I Wanna Get Out, I Wanna Get Out (Dada), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh yeah, my delight at finding Junior Senaya in my Panini stickers was unbridled. He's nearly named after Junior Senior!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 21:22 (eighteen years ago) link

When flying to Nepal from Burma a few years ago, the captain of our plane introduced himself as Deth Moan. I thought the irony would have been too great and felt safe flying along the Himalaya through the thunder storm.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 21:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I was in Junior school with an Aislinn Puttock

― JTS (JTS), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 21:50 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Pownoll Bastard Pellew, English nobleman and sailor.

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Tuesday, 22 August 2006 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

I read an article the other day by a guy called Arch Puddington.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link

I am amused to read on Wikipedia that Bastard Pellew's wife was called Georgina Dick.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh man, Mindy Smelkinson just totally made my day.

I have firsthand accounts of an extant Johnny Paradise.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I went to school with a Tom Morrow.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:39 (seventeen years ago) link

All these roffle-inducing names, and still the one that gets me every time I think of it is Eduardo Bastardo. Brilliant!

― g00blar (gooblar), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I have a friend who claims to know a Donal Rush.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 22:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Demontric D. Doddles (saw this name at work almost four years ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since)

― spastic heritage (spastic heritage), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 22:22 (seventeen years ago) link

ooh! remembered another goodie:

Delicious B. Jones

― spastic heritage (spastic heritage), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 22:23 (seventeen years ago) link

G.C. Lillicrap

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:08 (seventeen years ago) link

wolf blitzer, if that's real

― badg (badg), Thursday, 24 August 2006 03:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I know a woman named D1x1e D1amond, for real.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 04:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I used to work in IT recruitment and the best one I ever saw was some Indian bloke called Anus Aiken.

― Hard like armour (Hard like armour), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 05:26 (seventeen years ago) link

when i was on grand jury duty a few years ago several of the cases we reviewed were by a repeat offender named Little Willie. Literally, his first name was Little and his surname Willie.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 05:34 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

I just sent mail to a woman called Pr1ncess K1ng.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 26 October 2006 06:09 (seventeen years ago) link

I went to summer camp with Marsha Mello.

― Edward Bordas (edb), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I work with D4rr3n D34th. I keep telling him he should finish his PhD.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

i'd fund him!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Dev0n D0ng

― The Milkmaid (82375538-A) (The Milkmaid), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I processed someone's student visa who had the name of: MeGa Ho

― molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:09 (seventeen years ago) link

As mentioned in the Football Manager thread, Bedford Town striker Barrington Belgrave

― Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

When I was working fundraising calls for the university, I had a person on my list called My Wang.

― It's the lazy and immoral way to become super hip. (Austin, Still), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

The Book of Heroic Failures mentions someone called Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake. That's pretty bad.

― Treblekicker (treblekicker), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Today I was looking for a CV from a commercials company - the person I had to speak to was called Di11y Gent.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 12:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Yesterday I sent an email to someone named Venus Speedwell.

― Euai Kapaui (tracerhand), Tuesday, 21 November 2006 12:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Big round of applause for Redditch United centreback Exodus Geohaghan.

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Tuesday, 21 November 2006 12:34 (seventeen years ago) link

My mom recently went to a talk on the viscoelastic properties of mucus, given by one Prof. Richard Superfine.

― Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out (sixteen sergeants, Tuesday, 21 November 2006 12:37 (seventeen years ago) link

six months pass...

DeLorean Churby

OMG

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 14 June 2007 02:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I knew someone once called Barry Ireland. It's very funny if you're Welsh.

― nate woolls, Thursday, 14 June 2007 08:56 (seventeen years ago) link

My aunt had a childhood playmate named Tucker Plumstead.

I went to college with a girl named Guinevere Schmuck.

The recently-retired CFO of my company is named C0nn1e Cumm1ng5, and yet is not a pornstar.

― Phil D., Thursday, 14 June 2007 13:20 (seventeen years ago) link

two months pass...

Michael D. Jew (defendant in a lawsuit I just read)

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 22 August 2007 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Ulysses Carbon: http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/mostpopular.var.1602710.mostviewed.breaking_news_man_charged_with_walthamstow_murder.php

― CharlieNo4, Wednesday, 22 August 2007 16:48 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Random Justice Phillips

― Hurting 2, Tuesday, 6 November 2007 15:32 (sixteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Did I not post Manjula Icecreamwalla?

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 03:34 (sixteen years ago) link

somebody in my class once was apparently named Man-On Chin

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 03:36 (sixteen years ago) link

kenny gee

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 01:40 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.sullivanandcromwell.com/lawyers/detail.aspx?attorney=140

― sanskrit, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 01:52 (sixteen years ago) link

I used one of those address look-up things for an internship. I remember the last name in the registry was Zolton Zzzytwit. I was also surprised by the number of people with the last name Hitler in the US.

― clotpoll, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Rear Admiral John Stufflebeam

Also: When I was in grade school, my friends and I used to look up odd names in the phone book, make "clever" little rhymes or poems about the names, and prank call said individuals. Some names I remember from those days:

Dirk Greep, Zoltan Papp, Vernon Winklepleck

― Pillbox, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:33 (sixteen years ago) link

i knew a dude with the last name Manlove once

― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:35 (sixteen years ago) link

More: Boutros-Boutros Ghali; Shecki "the Jackyl"

― Pillbox, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 04:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Rageing Warr, convicted in Indiana of "battery by body waste"

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 13 December 2007 14:36 (sixteen years ago) link

apparently that just referred to her spitting in a cop's face, which is not as gross as I was imagining

― Hurting 2, Thursday, 13 December 2007 14:41 (sixteen years ago) link

A woman at my work has the first name Godsent.

― franny glass, Thursday, 13 December 2007 18:56 (sixteen years ago) link

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