Classic or dud: pissing on your belt

Pissing on the drawstrings of your pajamas.

oh man any kind of bathroom precipitation is 10000x worse when yr wearing scrubs

a goddamn shit jacuzzi for SHIT

I don't understand the last two posts very well. The second not at all.

btw the true secret to navigating the German toilet is to sit on it BACKWARDS

― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 19:52 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Making me think of this, and not in a good way

http://i27.tinypic.com/2lwunue.jpg

http://mimg.ugo.com/200911/31163/cuts/madonna-open-1_288x288.jpg

well i've done this a few times now but never has the piss been so spectacularly and widely diverted off of the surface.

xp "open your shart"

Thought this was a revive of this thread for a second:
i need to pee. does ilx dare me to wet myself?

Yeah, me too.

This thread is the only google search result for "poop shaped like a penis and balls" (in quotes).

^^^ me three. one of the best things to ever happen to ILX. Anyone still keep in contact with Hari Ashurst?

Fuck pissing on a cat.

We lock our cat in the bathroom at night because he had been jumping on the baby in her sleep. It's a pretty big bathroom and we rig it out for him so he's comfortable. He's lonely in there and I feel bad about it, but it's not cruel or anything.

Anyway, so I popped in there to take a piss on my way out the door to work and - trying to rub against my legs - he walked right in between me and the toilet. I didn't even notice him until I was pissing on his tail. It wasn't a lot, but then he turned around and rubbed his tail against my suit.

lol tough break, homie :(

A friend of mine used to have a cat who was very interested in the "piss arc" formed when you pee standing up. A couple of times when I did that, it was in toilet at the same time and tried to hit the arc with its paw. I dunno if this is common with cats, these days I always pee sitting down anyway.

I was rereading this thread as was going to repost some lols from it but Tuomas's last post is bemusing the hell out of me

Excellent setup, great premise, very mysterious Tuomas-esque conclusion. a+

Tuomas's conclusion is so letter-perfect one can only stand, pee, and applaud

remembered today why I never use urinals: the backsplash was severe enough that I may as well have just pissed myself.

there is some technique involved, yes

theeeese days

There's no technique involved in using a urinal; they all have a parabolic design which causes the urine to splash perpendicular to the direction it hit the back wall, so if you are getting splashed that means you are either using a dirty urinal or standing in the urinal.

Classic or dud: pissing on your belt while standing in the urinal

xp ok but dirty urinals aren't exactly some rare species in the wild

No, but considering that a significant number of guys basically hump them while pissing (you know you've all seen this), it's not really a surprise that something designed to to splash them during use might splash them

in a way the best urinals are the old-fashioned ones that go all the way to the floor

how about the ones that are just a slanted wall with water running down them?

by the way I wish DJP had chosen a picture of a german toilet that did not look like it uses jagermeister as flushing water upthread

sometimes I take my belt off before I piss and just drag it against the back of the urinal as a sort of opening gambit, just get all the suspense outta the way and wet up the belt, I know my belt pissers feel me

yeah i used to attend a teen disco where it was the wall, with a trough running along the floor. Good times.

and it was packed for space so the tall fellas would just stand akimbo over the short fellas and have at, i was, thankfully, a taller fella.

i feel you, aero

"opening gambit" just killed me

guys its true its all true

we have a nozzle we can direct anywhere and a prostate, not that hard to keep it where you want it imo

What's the prostate got to do w/ it?

/tinaturner

nah the sceisseschelffen

they are worse here than in holland. i dont think theyre as deep...

*looks it up* ok pc muscle, it's close by, you know what i mean xp

Oh. No, I thought there was something about the prostate that I didn't know. Something specific, I mean.

I've never seen the shelf in Holland! I guess the advantage there is you might be stoned as fuck and what goes better with weed than the powerful smell of your own rich poop

besides "literally anything," I mean

The Dutch have to make their shelves slightly higher so that your poop sits above sea-level. It's the law.

the continental shelf

stansted hasn`t much going for it at midnight on a thursday but the cooling backsplash of a released turdtle makes up for almost anything

I'm serious about that Dutch law btw. They did recently have a debate about it in parliament, and though the upper chamber held it up, the motion was eventually passed.

true, but a few months later it was blocked in a lower circuit court however

yeah I heard about that - it seems every year it's harder to push stuff through that lower court

the early day motions can be particularly sticky

they all have a parabolic design which causes

what the actual fuck, america

love/hate this thread