oh man any kind of bathroom precipitation is 10000x worse when yr wearing scrubs
― the only truffuluther on ilx (gbx), Wednesday, 6 October 2010 01:10 (thirteen years ago) link
a goddamn shit jacuzzi for SHIT
― acoleuthic, Wednesday, 6 October 2010 01:12 (thirteen years ago) link
I don't understand the last two posts very well. The second not at all.
― dumplings (Jesse), Wednesday, 6 October 2010 03:34 (thirteen years ago) link
btw the true secret to navigating the German toilet is to sit on it BACKWARDS― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 19:52 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Tuesday, 13 October 2009 19:52 Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Making me think of this, and not in a good way
http://i27.tinypic.com/2lwunue.jpg
― san te cross (onimo), Thursday, 7 October 2010 13:38 (thirteen years ago) link
http://mimg.ugo.com/200911/31163/cuts/madonna-open-1_288x288.jpg
― san te cross (onimo), Thursday, 7 October 2010 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link
well i've done this a few times now but never has the piss been so spectacularly and widely diverted off of the surface.
― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 8 March 2011 23:49 (thirteen years ago) link
xp "open your shart"
― a murder rap to keep ya dancin, with a crime record like Keith Chegwin (snoball), Wednesday, 9 March 2011 00:03 (thirteen years ago) link
Thought this was a revive of this thread for a second:i need to pee. does ilx dare me to wet myself?
― emil.y, Wednesday, 9 March 2011 00:06 (thirteen years ago) link
Yeah, me too.
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 9 March 2011 08:54 (thirteen years ago) link
This thread is the only google search result for "poop shaped like a penis and balls" (in quotes).
― kkvgz, Wednesday, 9 March 2011 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link
^^^ me three. one of the best things to ever happen to ILX. Anyone still keep in contact with Hari Ashurst?
― farieling thosder chout a bagh an i ballme crantuman (dog latin), Wednesday, 9 March 2011 12:17 (thirteen years ago) link
Fuck pissing on a cat.
We lock our cat in the bathroom at night because he had been jumping on the baby in her sleep. It's a pretty big bathroom and we rig it out for him so he's comfortable. He's lonely in there and I feel bad about it, but it's not cruel or anything.
Anyway, so I popped in there to take a piss on my way out the door to work and - trying to rub against my legs - he walked right in between me and the toilet. I didn't even notice him until I was pissing on his tail. It wasn't a lot, but then he turned around and rubbed his tail against my suit.
― the deee-lite psa (kkvgz), Sunday, 12 June 2011 17:27 (thirteen years ago) link
lol tough break, homie :(
― The Reverend, Sunday, 12 June 2011 19:12 (thirteen years ago) link
A friend of mine used to have a cat who was very interested in the "piss arc" formed when you pee standing up. A couple of times when I did that, it was in toilet at the same time and tried to hit the arc with its paw. I dunno if this is common with cats, these days I always pee sitting down anyway.
― Tuomas, Monday, 13 June 2011 09:02 (thirteen years ago) link
I was rereading this thread as was going to repost some lols from it but Tuomas's last post is bemusing the hell out of me
― an independent online phenomenon (DJP), Wednesday, 18 April 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link
Excellent setup, great premise, very mysterious Tuomas-esque conclusion. a+
― mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link
Tuomas's conclusion is so letter-perfect one can only stand, pee, and applaud
― same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 18 April 2012 19:12 (twelve years ago) link
remembered today why I never use urinals: the backsplash was severe enough that I may as well have just pissed myself.
― akm, Thursday, 19 April 2012 06:13 (twelve years ago) link
there is some technique involved, yes
― yuppie bullshit chocolate blogbait (contenderizer), Thursday, 19 April 2012 06:26 (twelve years ago) link
theeeese days
― JoeStork, Thursday, 19 April 2012 06:47 (twelve years ago) link
There's no technique involved in using a urinal; they all have a parabolic design which causes the urine to splash perpendicular to the direction it hit the back wall, so if you are getting splashed that means you are either using a dirty urinal or standing in the urinal.
― an independent online phenomenon (DJP), Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:34 (twelve years ago) link
Classic or dud: pissing on your belt while standing in the urinal
― dayo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:35 (twelve years ago) link
xp ok but dirty urinals aren't exactly some rare species in the wild
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:41 (twelve years ago) link
No, but considering that a significant number of guys basically hump them while pissing (you know you've all seen this), it's not really a surprise that something designed to to splash them during use might splash them
― an independent online phenomenon (DJP), Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:45 (twelve years ago) link
in a way the best urinals are the old-fashioned ones that go all the way to the floor
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:47 (twelve years ago) link
how about the ones that are just a slanted wall with water running down them?
― dayo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:49 (twelve years ago) link
by the way I wish DJP had chosen a picture of a german toilet that did not look like it uses jagermeister as flushing water upthread
― dayo, Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:50 (twelve years ago) link
sometimes I take my belt off before I piss and just drag it against the back of the urinal as a sort of opening gambit, just get all the suspense outta the way and wet up the belt, I know my belt pissers feel me
― same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 19 April 2012 12:51 (twelve years ago) link
yeah i used to attend a teen disco where it was the wall, with a trough running along the floor. Good times.
― diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 April 2012 13:07 (twelve years ago) link
and it was packed for space so the tall fellas would just stand akimbo over the short fellas and have at, i was, thankfully, a taller fella.
― diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 April 2012 13:10 (twelve years ago) link
i feel you, aero
― mh, Thursday, 19 April 2012 14:45 (twelve years ago) link
"opening gambit" just killed me
― epistantophus, Thursday, 19 April 2012 14:49 (twelve years ago) link
guys its true its all true
― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:43 (twelve years ago) link
we have a nozzle we can direct anywhere and a prostate, not that hard to keep it where you want it imo
― Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:47 (twelve years ago) link
What's the prostate got to do w/ it?
― Je55e, Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:55 (twelve years ago) link
/tinaturner
― Meet the G that Skrilled me... (snoball), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:56 (twelve years ago) link
nah the sceisseschelffen
― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:58 (twelve years ago) link
they are worse here than in holland. i dont think theyre as deep...
― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:59 (twelve years ago) link
*looks it up* ok pc muscle, it's close by, you know what i mean xp
― Impetuous hybrid (Matt P), Thursday, 21 June 2012 14:59 (twelve years ago) link
Oh. No, I thought there was something about the prostate that I didn't know. Something specific, I mean.
― Je55e, Thursday, 21 June 2012 19:17 (twelve years ago) link
I've never seen the shelf in Holland! I guess the advantage there is you might be stoned as fuck and what goes better with weed than the powerful smell of your own rich poop
besides "literally anything," I mean
― decrepit but free (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 21 June 2012 22:56 (twelve years ago) link
The Dutch have to make their shelves slightly higher so that your poop sits above sea-level. It's the law.
― gonna send him to outer space, to hug another face (NickB), Thursday, 21 June 2012 23:05 (twelve years ago) link
the continental shelf
stansted hasn`t much going for it at midnight on a thursday but the cooling backsplash of a released turdtle makes up for almost anything
― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 June 2012 23:19 (twelve years ago) link
I'm serious about that Dutch law btw. They did recently have a debate about it in parliament, and though the upper chamber held it up, the motion was eventually passed.
― gonna send him to outer space, to hug another face (NickB), Thursday, 21 June 2012 23:42 (twelve years ago) link
true, but a few months later it was blocked in a lower circuit court however
― un® (dayo), Thursday, 21 June 2012 23:48 (twelve years ago) link
yeah I heard about that - it seems every year it's harder to push stuff through that lower court
― decrepit but free (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 22 June 2012 04:32 (twelve years ago) link
the early day motions can be particularly sticky
― give me back my 200 dollars (NotEnough), Friday, 22 June 2012 07:13 (twelve years ago) link
they all have a parabolic design which causes
what the actual fuck, america
― the hat's filthy lesson (sic), Friday, 22 June 2012 13:20 (twelve years ago) link
love/hate this thread
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 08:37 (ten years ago) link
new (ish, since February) flatmate has caused much bafflement chez sktsh with his terrible aim and mystifying insistence on always putting down both lids, which - coupled with the fact that he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to clean it - means you basically have to hope that there's not a hidden puddle of urine on the porcelain when you lift the lid to go next. (There usually is.) You can always tell when he's been because a) the top lid is down; and b) there's a little puddle of piss on the floor in front of the toilet
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:09 (ten years ago) link