Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Oh my god. If you feel the need to walk around the office coughing all over the place and loudly proclaiming, "I should have just stayed home today, I feel awful", well, then, YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME.

wish y'all co-worker bitcher-abouters would be co-worker bitcher-atters

This particular co-worker is really too nice for me to get like angry at her, so I tried good old-fashioned passive-aggressiveness and keep asking if she needs cough drops or anything.

I find fake concern along the lines of "oh, yes, you really should take care of yourself, with a cold like that you need lots of rest, now you look after yourself tomorrow" etc sometimes works with our office's most outrageous perpetrator of coming in sick and then complaining loudly/coughing theatrically all day

however, I am too much of a jerk to sound genuinely concerned, plus I'm fairly sure she doesn't like me*, so I let the actual nice person in the office (who also hates this habit) do this, and just nod and go "mm" in the most sympathetic tone I can manage, which is probably not very

* sometimes she is all striking up conversations w/me nice as pie and then sometimes she arrives at a group I'm standing around talking in and stands in front of me with her back to me and just starts talking through the conversation, wtf

If I could find the people (or person) who left large baguette-sized turds unflushed in two toilets this afternoon, I would take great joy in bitching at that person.

Praying about pooping.

what the

Jenny, where the hell do you work?

Our Lady of Perpetual Regularity

"Dear Lord, make this one solid and I'll put five bucks in the Salvation Army kettle this Christmas."

Jenny is that all maybe the same one person? Someone who is weird and obsessive about shitting, germs and god knows what else?

Praying about pooping generally takes the form of calling out to Jesus during a particularly trying er movement, be that in thanks or for mercy.

I work in the public sector.

It is definitely not one person unless she pooped heartily in one toilet, leaving it unflushed for posterity, and then pooped with equal gusto in another toilet within the span of an hour and a half. I have also been in the presence of a poop prayer, poop singer, and poop cell phone talker at the same time. That was a magical day.

I'd just hold it in and wait til I got home, yeesh :/

Just took my headphones off for five minutes and the 'sucky teeth guy' I mentioned upthread has already made the lip-smacky pop noise 43 times.

i dont understand how people can hold in a dump until they get home. a friend of mine used to drive home (30 miles) to take a shit at lunch.

i just use the interns secret bathroom, costanza style.

Time and need permitting, I go to another floor.

director comes up to me yesterday tells me we need to order more coffee cups asap because we are out. I asked if he looked in the box labeled "COFFEE CUPS". He says yes and that there are none, I go in the kitchen and look in the box which is filled with coffee cups. Go fuck yourself.

Pooping in restrooms away from home

this guy is a real douchebag.

Okay the dude in an adjacent cubicle is eating potato chips and I swear to god he is working hard at figuring out just how to shape his mouth to make sure the crunch echoes across the entire office.

thank god he's not eating sun chips in those friggin compostable bags.

So today in the bathroom, someone was pooping and moaning loudly, like they were giving birth in there. The the security guard came in and started singing Christmas songs (The First Noel).

Awesome.

o shitenbaum

That poop was immaculately conceived.

coworker says "oh you're not working tomorrow?"
me "nope"
coworker "you have the best schedule of all of us"

the reason i have the "best schedule" is that, while everyone else is full time and is salaried and has benefits and an office, I am part time and paid by the hour and don't get benefits or an office. but if you are jealous of my schedule, I'm sure you could talk the school into making you part-time instead of full-time and taking away your salary and benefits and office

People, if you work in an office, being an evening-shower person is not acceptable. You smell weird and stale all day.

Uh.

eww trayce

Seriously now, who gives a fuck what time of day you bathe? I'm more offended by people who load themselves up with cologne/deodorant - fuck that shit off, you dont need to smell like toilet scent.

My "uh" was offence at the idea you'd dictate to anyone that they must shower in the morning (or the odd US notion of showering more than once a day what a fucking waste of water)

If you can tell what time of day I take my shower, you're standing too close.

Also anyone who smells "stale" is more likley to do so because they haven't washed their clothes, and/or they smoke, than any shower timing, for serious - I have known people who showered meticulously who ponged - and it turned out it was because they never wore fresh clothes.

I'm just trapped in a small office with a boss who showers in the evenings, and she smells like people do when they get out of bed--it's a bit much over an 8-hr day

Paranoid now.

At least once a week, one of my co-workers tries to get me to leave early to go to happy hour. When I say I can't, I get the same ribbing over and over again about how I "work too hard." What they fail to comprehend is that I can't even take a lunch break, much less leave work at 3:30 to get drunk, because for the last seven months I've been doing the work of two people. Unlike my co-workers, I'm the only person in my department. In fact, I was recently told that I'm not allowed to take sick days because there's no one else who can do my job. So instead of wasting time at happy hours, I will spend every spare minute I can scrounge up looking for a new job. I know you mean well, co-workers, but seriously, I just want out of this hellhole.

When I say I can't, I get the same ribbing over and over again about how I "work too hard."

Ugh. Thats where I'd be all "yes. Yes. YES *get up from seat* I DO WORK TOO HARD. I WORK HARDER THAN EVERYONE ELSE AND IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE"

...and then quietly sit back down again.

^ YES

or just go drinking and stop giving a crap if you get behind in your work.

Hahah actually yeah do that. Let the work just fall away. When anyone asks, shrug and say "y'all said I work too hard and insisted I come drinking so I did".

""y'aal shaid I work too hard and inshited I come drinking sho I diiiid". while shoving your finger in your coworker and/or boss's face.

LOL I would so do this.

Guys why do people think unapologetic racism is still OK in 2010?

Like co-worker, why are you proudly telling me abt how much you hate Mexicans and shit because they're all mean and inconveniencing you when A) they're not and B) they're not.

I totally get that you don't want to hold the phone up to your ear while you wait forever on hold, but could you please at least turn down the volume on your speakerphone so the rest of us don't have to hear the annoying, repetitive pre-recorded message for over 40 minutes?

Guy who thinks it's funny to say web addresses wrong "look it up on dubbayoo dubbayoo dot com dot google dot dot dot" - you are wrong.

I could xpost this to "innocuous things that make us irrationally angry" but still: one of my office-mates saunters into our three-person office every morning, greeting us with a quietly-spoken "g00d m0rning, gentl3m3n." We've been sharing this office for 5 months and it's the same damn thing every day. I don't understand the need for this affectation.

― kkvgz, Friday, October 8, 2010 9:05 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Also always departs for lunch with "I shall return." (italics his)

Christmas going pretty well here, how is it for you?

People playing christmas songs in my place of work: 0
People wearing comedy santa hats: 1
Stupid, annoying snowmen/santa jpegs on our work webpages: 1
Pointless christmas cards received from people I don't even: 1

People playing christmas songs in my place of work: 0
People wearing comedy santa hats: 0
Stupid, annoying snowmen/santa jpegs on our work webpages: 0
Pointless christmas cards received from people I don't even: 0

It may as well not be xmas at all round here.

You are in charge of c0rp0r4t3 fundr4ising at our sci3ntific organization and you mispronounce G3N3NT3CH?