Jake Gyllenhaal

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Come on, Dan, even Dustin Hoffman goes gay for Jake G.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/green_queen/Jake/jakedustinsusan1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/green_queen/Jake/jakedustinsusan2.jpg

SUCCUMB TO THE MAGNETISM OF HIS FANTASTIC ABS.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I should've figured this thread's explosion was due to homosexual fantasies and fan-fiction being written. I mean, I didn't see it coming in the infamous Dave Matthews thread but this I should've predicted. How many more threads are going to lose to butt lust, ILX?

― Jingo, Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:07 (eighteen years ago) link

You never really lose with butt lust.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey Dan, has your wife's Jake-love forced you to watch Brokeback Mountain yet?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Not yet! We just got around to seeing "Memoirs Of A Geisha".

― Dan (Zhang Ziyi + Gong Li + Michelle Yeoh = Eternal Hawttness) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of a Hey Aren't All These Japanese Women Played By Chinese Women?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of an Excessively Literal Mind

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Well yes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of a Joke That Doesn't Really Gain Anything from Having the Phrase "Memoirs of" Tacked on at the Beginning

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:05 (eighteen years ago) link

http://rns.gamona.de/site_images/cards/incubus.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Mostly it's just the lead women; the others are all Japanese (or Korean or Vietnamese, heh).

― Dan (Tenuous Points Hooray) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 13:01 (eighteen years ago) link

"Crazians" is the correct terminology.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I just watched a Jake interview taped a couple of months ago for the gay channel; he sounds and looks as gay as Liberace.

But that's in the rider (hehehe) when you appear on it! Flame on! (Y'know I don't even know where that channel is on my Time Warner slate.)

Rob Marshall cast Chinese actresses in Geisha because the non-singers/non-dancers in Chicago worked out so well [sic].

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The entire "they cast Chinese actresses!" thing is such a gigantic red herring; truth is they cast OMG SMOKIN' HAWTT actresses.

― Dan (GONG LI U R A TREET) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Can we stay on topic please?

http://teemix.aufeminin.com/imworld4/stars/fan/D20050425/1797_189277291_jrank__304_n18_H212506_L.jpg

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:07 (eighteen years ago) link

that is a treat!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Can we stay on topic please?

http://www.iol.ie/~bugscave/offspring2/shuekilmer2.jpg

― Dan (Val Kilmer/Elizabeth Shue Lovechild) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link

truth is they cast OMG SMOKIN' HAWTT actresses.

This I will not contest.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/blog/DONNIE-DARKO.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:26 (eighteen years ago) link

You guys upped this shit to the next level overnight. Bravo!

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:29 (eighteen years ago) link

So essentially Jake and Frankie Muniz with tits need to star in a movie together, with Zhang Ziyi.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:29 (eighteen years ago) link

No, that's the opposite of what needs to happen.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Do you want to destroy civilization or not?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

That's not quite destructive enough. Still some redemption in it.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, I hate you.

― Dan (Because I Would Watch This Movie For Ziyi) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

oh noes! heath ledger isn't actually american!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, I hate you.

Just holding you to your word.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

oh shit! nor is cary grant!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Take it to the Heath Ledger thread!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

What is Brokeback Mountain about? It looks like some sort of emo cowboy film. I don't like that genre.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.mybabymonkey.com/celebphoto/random/j_gyllenhaal024.jpg

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

If Jake upchucked that taco within an hour of eating it, then surely, SURELY he is teh gay.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

????

(Note to self: Do not give tacos to gay friends.)

― Dan (Ew) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:42 (eighteen years ago) link

As soon as I find that website with the Heath-Jake man-love photos, this sight will implode.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like Heathy!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Nicole was OTM in post 2, btw.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm still pondering exactly how mortifying it would be to have your main claim to fame be that everyone on the Internet thinks you look like someone stuck Barbie tits on Frankie Muniz.

― Dan (Ritualized Suicide) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 17:08 (eighteen years ago) link

I hear him barking.

http://justjared.blogspot.com/2006/01/jake-gyllenhaal-puggle.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

How an earth can we have a 240 post thread about...JAKE GYLLEHNAAL?

and the Patrick Keiller thread gets only 11 replies!

:('''''''''

THAT is a man dribbling.

― [tuvan throat singer's profound lyric sheet-must read again] (nordicskilla), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Now just what are you doing on a Jared blogspot, Morb?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Apparently mortifying enough that she removed her Flickr account, Dan.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I just go where Towleroad takes me.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 January 2006 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Safe-for-work Jake black-tie porn:

http://towleroad.typepad.com/towleroad/2006/01/jake_gyllenhaal.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Like the posters I too wonder which "street fairs" Jake's been attending.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=29048224

Is it real? YOU DECIDE.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake Gyllenhaal: Emo or Not

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:24 (eighteen years ago) link

tweemo

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Looks real to me. His taste in quaint harmless Hollywood liberalism (To Kill A Mockingbird) gives the game away.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 04:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't know -- I feel like there is too much info thrown in trying to PROVE it's the REAL HIM. Dude can't really spell, either. Maybe he just likes talking about himself a lot!

― gunther heartymeal (keckles), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 04:13 (eighteen years ago) link

It could be him, but there's nothing in that profile that couldn't be the regurgitations of an obsessive celeb-mag reader. note the profile for his mom in his friends -- wtf?

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?