Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

cool! early eve best for me i think - will liaise closer to the time. mmm oxtail soup.

xps

xps I tried repairing an old dresser left by a former roommate but it was so cheaply-made/moronically-assembled (former roommate was one of the stupidest people I've ever known) that I ended up tearing it's particle board ass into tiny bits.

it's = its

xp OXTAIL STEW.

x post

I wonder sometimes how much QA goes into some of these furniture assembly instructions. My reading comprehension is pretty good, so I don't think that's the problem, but there are times when the steps just don't make sense and it's better to abandon them. I always assume it's my fault, so there are long periods of self-doubt before accepting that parts have simply been drilled on the wrong side or there's some other fault which voids the instructions. That said, I remain undefeated.

There are professional flatpack assembly companies out there if necessary.

It turns out a lot of issues involving money make me irrationally angry. Money and lifestyles and self-discipline and my discomfort with talking about or dealing with money, really, at all. And what I perceive as wastefulness, which could be actually irresponsibility or could be simply another person's priorities being different from mine.

In terms of things that really piss me off, this overlaps with "Not being able to plan meals on a budget and then cook them," "making do with a minimum of complaining," and "learned helplessness." I'm angry a lot.

From experience, cooking is MUCH more pleasurable if you have the following:

- Decent sized kitchen w/work surfaces and a good sized sink. One of my main frustrations at uni was the fact the kitchens were always filthy and cluttered and there was nowhere to chop vegetables. Plus you'd always have people in there getting in your way. I have to feel calm if I'm cooking - I get very tetchy if I have people looking over my shoulder/back seat driving/getting in my way. Also I have to make sure everything is clean before I even chop a vegetable. If things aren't in order, that's when I enter one of the circles of hell and start throwing things and crying. Kind of frustrating these days is that our house has a very small sink and no dishwasher, so washing up piles up incredibly easy. Therefore I find my GF (who genuinely loves cooking) has been doing most of these duties.

- A good-sized chopping board, a knife, some wooden spoons, a frying pan and a saucepan.

- Some nice simple cookbooks with colour photographs of the finished meal in them. There is a series of these which you can get fromt he super market called thigns like Home Food, Hot Food, Cool Food, Bowl Food. When my Mum left and my Dad was left to cook for us, I was kind of forced to learn for fear of dying of burnt pork chops. Someone bought me one of these books and they were a lifeline. Don't bother with any big Delia/Jamie books - I find these start to complicate things and try to be a bit tarty. The important thing is that you have a list of ingredients, a list of instructions and a photo of what it should look like. The latter is essential, because otherwise, how are you going to know what you want to cook?

- Knowledge of ingredients comes in time. You only need to learn a few recipes (e.g. spag bol, indian curry etc) to start getting a grip on how herbs, spices and vegetables work. Always keep onions, garlic, peppers and a few favourite vegetables to hand. Dried herbs: Oregano, thyme, mixed herbs, sage, maybe parsley or coriander. Fresh basil can be nice in some dishes. If you eat meat, what you get depends on budget but you can normally compare prices in the supermarket or ask your butcher. Ingredient shopping is a dark art, but it can help if you make a shopping list. If you can't find an ingredient, leave it out or improvise with something else. Get a large bottle of medium/mild olive oil - can be expensive, but it's important. I've never got the hang of using spray oil.

- If you're the kind of person who burns things or overboils eggs etc, use a timer, on your mobile, watch or on the oven itself.

- Choose one recipe, something simple that requires maybe just a frying pan or saucepan. Stir fries, spag bols, curries, stews, all relatively simple. Pick a night when you can be relaxed and take your time. Have someone on hand to help you, but not someone who generally likes interfering. Give it a go - yes it can take a while and yes it might go wrong, but getting it right can be very rewarding.

Right now, we're trying to go the other way though - one of us cooks nearly every night, which isn't really necessary in a household of two. I sometimes envy non-cooks who live on grazing and simple meals... More time, arguably fewer calories etc...

My main food advice is "learn techniques, not recipes." Corollary: understand the physical properties of your building blocks. Know what happens when you do X to Y, and why. With that knowledge, you can kind of know what a dish will taste like before you ever make it the first time.

I don't have 45 minutes to invest in a 5-minute dinner.

Can't really relate to this. I'll invest all day in a meal if I think the meal will be sufficiently tasty. I'll also spend more than five minutes enjoying it. If food is just something you do on a daily basis to keep the body alive while you do more interesting things, then yeah, learning to cook doesn't make any sense.

I think it helped my enjoyment of cooking to have been involved in it from a young age -- Mum would teach us how to pick out fruit & veg at the market, and have us stir or chop things, and then let us bake desserts or whatever on the weekend, and then you slowly graduate to meals.

IMO it helps to start by cooking something that you enjoy eating, something relatively simple: like a stir fry for dinner, or even a batch of cookies. And to have someone around at first who's done it before, someone patient that you can just say 'hey is this right', or 'rarrr why is it not cooking' and work through the things you think are problems that maybe turn out not to be so major.

Just the method of prepping a stir fry teaches you about the way different vegetables cook, and then you apply it to other dishes that you start exploring.

But honestly, there's no shame in not cooking. It shouldn't be stressful or horrible, and if you're the kind of person that finds it to be that, then it's okay if it's not for you.

whenever i have to put things together from ikea i sling expletives like there is no tomorrow. I even start talking to myself. I'm like Ralphies father from "A Christmas Story". Frickin Frackin Pfeiffer

I've put together all kinds of stuff from Target or Wallyworld or wherever and not had issues with assembly that come even close to the heartache and tears of frustration that go with IKEA. I can't say why exactly.

its those smug swedish cartoon guys with the big fucking smiles on the directions...look a picture of a swede and an arrow pointing to a hole and a screw driver and some bolts. FUCK OFF.

washing up is a huge barrier to cooking - the more you cook properly (as opposed to just heating something up) the more dirty pots and pans you have to deal with afterwards. so a shit-ton of cooking and a shit-ton of washing up, neither of which are fun, for a 10-minute meal that's not THAT much tastier than the equivalent ready meal that takes 20 minutes to heat up and involves minimal washing up? especially if it's a simple meal - if i'm going to put myself through the effort of cooking etc i want to make something that i DON'T normally eat, something a bit special, not just spag bol.

My main food advice is "learn techniques, not recipes." Corollary: understand the physical properties of your building blocks. Know what happens when you do X to Y, and why. With that knowledge, you can kind of know what a dish will taste like before you ever make it the first time.

yup, makes total rational sense, but practically...i just don't know where to start.

I think it helped my enjoyment of cooking to have been involved in it from a young age

^^secretly the key to all of this, isn't it :(

putting it another way - i think i'd enjoy cooking complicated stuff more - it's a challenge. but i never do, cuz it tends to mean having to buy ingredients that i'll only ever use once. cooking simple meals that i can get in a ready meal - it's so much hassle for a pretty mundane result where the benefits don't outweigh the costs.

Foodies who spend all day making food and savoring every precious bite are like bird-watchers to me. I mean, yeah, I like birds and to each their own, but you're not going to find me sitting in a tree with a pair of binoculars and a notebook any time soon. They're birds.

Sunny and I are lucky that we're on the same page with this. I completely sympathized with the author of this NYT article as she described her situation:

Sure, we ate well. Very well. Our refrigerator held, depending on the season: homemade gravlax, Strauss organic milk, salt-packed anchovies, little gem lettuces, preserved Meyer lemons, imported Parmesan, mozzarella and goat cheese, baby leeks, green garlic, Blue Bottle coffee ($18 a pound), supergroovy pastured eggs. On a ho-hum weeknight Dan might make me pan-roasted salmon with truffled polenta in a Madeira shallot reduction. But this was only a partial joy. Dan’s cooking enabled him to hide out in plain sight; he was home but busy — What? I’m cooking dinner! — for hours every evening. During this time I was left to attend to our increasingly hungry, tired and frantic children and to worry about money.

Without getting into too many details, both of us have been held hostage too many times by someone banging pots in the kitchen and keeping more than one burner on at once. I don't work on my car in my spare time, I don't sew my own clothes and I don't spend any more time on what food I eat other than to make sure it's somewhat healthy.

But, that's me.

On a ho-hum weeknight Dan might make me pan-roasted salmon with truffled polenta in a Madeira shallot reduction. But this was only a partial joy.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Also, cooking for 1 = no fun

Also, cooking for 1 = no fun

yes, people say this, a lot! and i'm like STOP TELLING ME I SHOULD COOK THEN.

also, i do genuinely love eating good food. the stuff i've made does not fall into this category.

you soon appreciate cooking for yourself when you live alone and can't afford to eat out every day

Haha oooh yeah I remember that NY Times article now. It really might be the crowning Quiddities article.

i don't eat out every day xp

the trick to enjoying cooking is to drink wine while you're cooking

think the main reason I don't like ready meals is I look at the ingredients and think what is all that? And why so much salt?

i listen to music, eat little bits, dance, look out the window, read. i love cooking.

idk, hanging out w othr ppl is maybe key to understanding the fun

cooking simple meals that i can get in a ready meal - it's so much hassle for a pretty mundane result where the benefits don't outweigh the costs.

firstly you can't get fresh meat or fresh fish and vegetables as a ready meal, always some stew or other concoction which tells you a lot. and secondly even "dishes" like lasagne, paella, curry whatever ready meal classics you want to name, they are just so devoid of flavour compared to the same dish cooked from scratch. the convenience factor isn't even all that, it takes about 5 minutes to cook a piece of fish and have it with some steamed veg or potatoes or whatever.

the 2/3 times i've eaten ready meals in the last 3/4 years have all been hugely disappointing, they look great, esp if you've had a total nightmare at work or whatever, but almost invariably the elements that make the dish itself are missing, like a taste beyond stodgy saltiness.

cooking for one is fine too imo, v enjoyable.

not ime .. plus it adds to the whole "i did all this for 10 minutes of eating?" vibe. when you eat with others it gets drawn out, you talk, you cut more bread, you pour more wine, and they might even help w the dishes!

yeah music is essential imo

plus I'm constantly running back and forth checking the computer and so on

Cooking for one tip; Cook for 6 and then freeze individual portions. Eat once + 5 x ready meals.

i don't find it that much effort, i think if you're used to cooking for one you learn rewarding dishes that don't take that much time.

Simplicity of fresh food is a real plus for me. A favourite for when I get back late and tired has been a piece of fresh fish with a few scallions and a touch of soy/oyster sauce.

Had some job/home worries recently and not eaten fresh as much as i would do normally (little bit too much take out instead) and definitely noticed the change in mood/energy. Be good to get that back on an even keel again!

oven dishes + timers = spend 10 minutes assembling something, 5 minutes washing up, then kill an hour while delicious smells permeate your house

Though that is probably more a lunch time thing, need to get back on the mackerel and alfalfa for lunch!

yeah i'm sure you're right Ro, i'm just out of the habit. i think my favorite go-to when i was single and living alone was "black bean thing" - black beans, rice, other stuff (onions and peppers, whatever), slices of polish sausage, and lots of tabasco

i also always cook triple so i can have seconds and lunch 2mo

and secondly even "dishes" like lasagne, paella, curry whatever ready meal classics you want to name, they are just so devoid of flavour compared to the same dish cooked from scratch

lol seriously not the way i cook

i have a few...

smoked haddock+sweet potatoes
thai stir fry thing with lamb mince and fish sauce/lime from a nigel slater book.
salmon/swordfish/tuna steak with bag of spinach stir fried
roast breast of chicken or pork belly plus rocket/tomato salad, maybe some potatoes, takes a long time but v little effort.

i try and have a simple salad along with these. i used to do the whole "make a big stew and freeze it" thing but i feel it makes me eat too much the first night, and also it can take a long time to do.

it's definitely more expensive if you want to eat quickly and healthily tho.

x-post cooking is so easy though, just follow a recipe, within no time you'd be fine.

Even if I try I can rarely manage cooking a single serving...I'm so used to cooking family-sized meals I just go the whole hog & end up with a pile of leftovers.

x-post cooking is so easy though, just follow a recipe, within no time you'd be fine.

THIS BRINGS US BACK TO THE SUBJECT OF THE THREAD

lol I was just thinking that...

ha me too

[duck everybody, Lex is gonna 'splode!]

smoked haddock+sweet potatoes
thai stir fry thing with lamb mince and fish sauce/lime from a nigel slater book.
salmon/swordfish/tuna steak with bag of spinach stir fried

I WOULD HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START IF YOU GAVE ME ANY OF THESE INGREDIENTS

GUARANTEE THEY'D BE OUT OF THE WINDOW WITHIN HALF AN HOUR AND I'D JUST BE ORDERING A PIZZA INSTEAD

I can only imagine your garden, what with the Ikea & smoked haddock

there are probably a bunch of expectant gnomes out there hoping someone sends you a Kindle

nothin like a good 'za

there are probably a bunch of expectant gnomes out there hoping someone sends you a Kindle

i've seen people with these on the tube. i don't get them at all. when i go to read a book it's usually because i want to STOP looking at a computer screen for once

i used to feel that way but now im just so tired of PAGES, man

lol