Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

and secondly even "dishes" like lasagne, paella, curry whatever ready meal classics you want to name, they are just so devoid of flavour compared to the same dish cooked from scratch

lol seriously not the way i cook

i have a few...

smoked haddock+sweet potatoes
thai stir fry thing with lamb mince and fish sauce/lime from a nigel slater book.
salmon/swordfish/tuna steak with bag of spinach stir fried
roast breast of chicken or pork belly plus rocket/tomato salad, maybe some potatoes, takes a long time but v little effort.

i try and have a simple salad along with these. i used to do the whole "make a big stew and freeze it" thing but i feel it makes me eat too much the first night, and also it can take a long time to do.

it's definitely more expensive if you want to eat quickly and healthily tho.

x-post cooking is so easy though, just follow a recipe, within no time you'd be fine.

Even if I try I can rarely manage cooking a single serving...I'm so used to cooking family-sized meals I just go the whole hog & end up with a pile of leftovers.

x-post cooking is so easy though, just follow a recipe, within no time you'd be fine.

THIS BRINGS US BACK TO THE SUBJECT OF THE THREAD

lol I was just thinking that...

ha me too

[duck everybody, Lex is gonna 'splode!]

smoked haddock+sweet potatoes
thai stir fry thing with lamb mince and fish sauce/lime from a nigel slater book.
salmon/swordfish/tuna steak with bag of spinach stir fried

I WOULD HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START IF YOU GAVE ME ANY OF THESE INGREDIENTS

GUARANTEE THEY'D BE OUT OF THE WINDOW WITHIN HALF AN HOUR AND I'D JUST BE ORDERING A PIZZA INSTEAD

I can only imagine your garden, what with the Ikea & smoked haddock

there are probably a bunch of expectant gnomes out there hoping someone sends you a Kindle

nothin like a good 'za

there are probably a bunch of expectant gnomes out there hoping someone sends you a Kindle

i've seen people with these on the tube. i don't get them at all. when i go to read a book it's usually because i want to STOP looking at a computer screen for once

i used to feel that way but now im just so tired of PAGES, man

lol

alex you're pretty intelligent, i refuse to believe you can't use a fucking frying pan.

smoked haddock+sweet potatoes
thai stir fry thing with lamb mince and fish sauce/lime from a nigel slater book.
salmon/swordfish/tuna steak with bag of spinach stir fried

I WOULD HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START IF YOU GAVE ME ANY OF THESE INGREDIENTS

well for starters, I am assuming the Nigel Slater book isn't actually an ingredient

do you expect to ever learn anything you don't know how to do at this point in time? if so, how?

i have already outlined my issues with cooking in this thread!

it's less that i'm unable to follow a recipe, it's that whenever things go inexplicably wrong and the recipe can't help me - ie ALL THE TIME - i get completely stressed out and basically loathe the entire process, from shopping for the ingredients (always one you can't find, always one you have to buy a fucking bag of to use one teaspoon) to having to time everything just right so one part of the meal isn't ready 5 hours before the others and AAAAARGGHHHHHHH

i neither expect nor intend to learn how to cook! I HATE COOKING. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME I SHOULD COOK.

I don't think you should cook.

you should not cook. but you should maybe think about becoming an olympic shotputter if your throwing talents are anything to go by :)

So it's the expectation of failure, then, that is the real barrier.

more like the empirical evidence of failure

and mostly the pointlessness of putting so much effort (esp psychological given that I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WHOLE PROCESS) and time in, for a 10-minute meal that is never, ever going to be worth it.

plus the danger to passers-by

I like cooking for myself, because cook WHAT I want, WHEN I want, and I'm kind to myself about the outcome. Too spicy? Oh well, guess I'll throw in another can of beans and some sour cream tomorrow to take the edge off. Too salty? I love salt! Too much? No prob, lunch x 5.

Just feel like having hummus and some leftover shredded chicken on a lettuce leaf today? Fine! Call it dinner and mix me another tequila with lime.

Have come to conclusion that bf and I should never cook for each other. The other day he lovingly made dinner with many queries to me about what I would like but I didn't really want to eat a big meal and he did, so I encouraged him to make it his way.

I thought it was awful. Or if not awful, certainly a waste of some nice tuna steaks.

Stressing the innoccuous and irrational aspects - out of office auto replies.

Currently eating - packet of dry roasted peanuts. ( I guess the dust at the bottom of these might make an appearance on this list as well)

Just feel like having hummus and some leftover shredded chicken on a lettuce leaf today? Fine! Call it dinner and mix me another tequila with lime.

Yr ideas intrigue me and I'd like to subscribe etc. etc.

Stressing the innoccuous and irrational aspects - out of office auto replies.

I work for an online publication and get all the out of office auto replies whenever we send out an eNewsletter.

It used to bother me, but now I use the number of replies in such a way as to gauge how long my commute will be in the afternoon. Four-hundred out of office replies? Why, it must be the Wednesday before Thanksgiving!

I hate when you've been emailing a person all day and then out of the blue you get an Out Of Office auto reply. I've got an idea: how about you tell me you're leaving? You know, in one of the FIFTEEN EMAILS I GOT FROM YOU TODAY?

^ yeah I think it's something like that that annoys me, although it's mainly a vague irritation.

I like PP's positive spin on things tho.

I also can't spell innocuous even tho it's in the thread title which probably drives some people wild and probably with more justification.

I like PP's positive spin on things tho.

Thank you. Pretty sure though this is the first time this sentence has ever been said either on ILX or IRL.

just had some of yesterday's stew. awesome.

innocuous annoyance- people insisting on spelling out perfectly standard words/names to you on the phone

yes! "Y...E...S...that's S for Sam"

or how about people that are in the office and forgot to turn off the out of office auto reply.

today i was getting some porridge and the eat chain of food stores seems to have adopted a policy of taking your name while they process your order, instead of roaring PORRIDGE across the shop like visigoths, anyway the (extremely beautiful) french till attendant asked my name and i said "ronan", and she said "ronan?" and i have so little faith in anyone over here getting it right first time that before she finished i said "no "RO-NAN" then realised that's what she said and we both laughed.

she is now my wife.

heartwarming

i know, it had maple syrup in it.

There's a pasta place in the market where they ask your name for the ticket. I tell 'em "Tre" and they reply "Terry? / Ray? / James?" (whatever day it is, who knows.)

I always say, sure, that's my name, whatever they come up with since I figure I can remember whatever name it is they come up with better than they can remember mine after I just told them.

But then I pay with my debit card that asks for ID and the whole thing begins to collapse.

darren? dermot? darren?

ronald/raymond/ron/rowan/ryan

wish i didn't have such a nasal accent!

lol posh dub

it's cos every time ye open yer mouths the hot air just forces its way out ime

oh ho now

that's the way of it

Lol this thread. I am totally the person that throws a massive paddy about stupid things but have never had a problem with Ikea furniture. I also used to hate cooking, lived on 5-for-£4 asda meals and learned to make approx 1 pasta dish in three years from copying my housemate (this = a great shortcut btw). As long as you have a really basic book with pics (or www.bbcgoodfood.com) and decent pans and a SHARP knife you can totally get into it. Would be nice if I'd learned some basics to start off with, e.g. I never cooked steak or anything because I was scared of cooking anything on a high heat AND undercooking meat so it'd sit drying out in the pan or under the grill. Eventually figured out that 'get the pan smoking hot' first was in the recipe for a good reason. Stuff like that is key. (I actually have a book called 'how to boil an egg', ha)

lol @ darragh and ronan thinking they have name prblms

i actually dread having2 intrduce myself

"T1arnan"

"What?"

"T1arnan"

"What?"

"T1arnan"

"What?"