this is the horny commiseration thread

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If I could actually pull a boy that looked like that... man he wouldn't have to have the faintest clue what to do with my clit! He could just sit in the bathtub while I masturbate!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I have images in my head now, and believe me, they're VERY incriminating.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Oooh, dooo share!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

No, actually, don't. I am going home now. I'm dying. My throat feels like it's on fire. This is what I get for licking strangers. Sigh.

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

"The prosecution will show that Kate did, beyond any reasonable doubt, drug and intice this innocaent young man into a bathtub while she pleasured herself in front of him."

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:47 (nineteen years ago) link

Stop it! I need to go home, and stop clicking on the picture of the bathtub!

― Danger Whore (kate), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

Kate, you are so a Mark Renton girl.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 4 October 2004 16:04 (nineteen years ago) link

EEWWW!!! EWWWWW!!! EWWWWW, DC, YOU JUST HARSHBUZZED MY CLIT-ON!!!

This is the single greatest sentance I have ever read.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:31 (nineteen years ago) link

That is pretty fucking good.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

ihttp://img68.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/?

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:22 (nineteen years ago) link

err,

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v208/jcoombs/nakedme.gif

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 4 October 2004 23:23 (nineteen years ago) link

idiots

― oc, Monday, 4 October 2004 23:42 (nineteen years ago) link

So did I make TEH ULTIMATE FUNNY thread, then? Bet I didn't. Sigh.

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:31 (nineteen years ago) link

You made the ILEpitaphs thread. Which is better anyway. More exclusive.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:37 (nineteen years ago) link

i might post oc's comment on it

― Senor Embargo (blueski), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I wish I had use for the phrase "you just harshbuzzed my clit-on". Oh, if only I were female.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Or a hermaphrodite.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Where's the epitaphs thread? Is it worth another 50p to find out?

Gah, this is more addictive than peep shows. But cheaper, thankfully!

― what katie didn't do, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 09:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Back (on) Top! ha ha

I've had too much caffeine this morning and need some distracting sex talk.

That FHM model has a weird face.

The two guys kissing are cute, but the gun does nothing for me. I think he should be holding a flower instead.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:48 (nineteen years ago) link

I was going to say a cat, but I don't want people to think that... well... yeah... just something fuzzy and soft.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 14:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Revive! er... in more ways than one. Us horny people need to have a place to come together. Or at least be together.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:24 (nineteen years ago) link

three days and counting

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (nineteen years ago) link

until...?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:27 (nineteen years ago) link

About a month. Oh, joy.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:32 (nineteen years ago) link

Do you guys have long-distance girlfriends? Or are you saving up for hookers?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:34 (nineteen years ago) link

no no these are 'since' times

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (nineteen years ago) link

ah so.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I do.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:37 (nineteen years ago) link

what's it been now? a month, yes

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:44 (nineteen years ago) link

Wear a trucker hat and you're sorted.

― Core of Sphagnum (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Eat a falafel, buy a vibrator.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:47 (nineteen years ago) link

I knew there was something I forgot to do today... eat a falafel!

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Luna, I do not believe for a second that you purchased a viobrator today. I believe instead that you already own an assortment.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 05:59 (nineteen years ago) link

a veritable dollymixture of vibrations?

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:06 (nineteen years ago) link

I do already own an assortment, this is true - however, I did purchase a new one today.

I like variety. And it's hot pink.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Carnation pink is such a turnoff.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:11 (nineteen years ago) link

carnation pink vibrators could surely only be for nannas

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Well it's either that or I become a nun.

I took a chance.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Funnily enough, since I last posted here I've had sex with two different persons, which is highly unusual for me. But both of these affairs were kinda messy and didn't leave me any happier, and I've come to realize it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:12 (nineteen years ago) link

I miss being in love, too.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (nineteen years ago) link

i haven't had sex for 5 months. this is a record for me, the longest since i have been sexually active (about 12 years). i'm not crawling the walls or anything yet though.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:13 (nineteen years ago) link

aw. Tuomas, I hug you. Not that it's me you want a hug from, but still. I understand that a whole lot.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Thanks, Kenan, I appreciate your sympathy. Hugs to you too.

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve? Of course there's nothing wrong with it, but that's kinda unusual. Or at least unusual compared to people like me who lost their virginity when they were 18.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (nineteen years ago) link

it's not really sex I'm missing, it's having sex with someone I'm in love with.

Is it possible to be in love with someone and still have bad sex? Because I'm pretty sure I'm in love, but the sex is the worst I've ever had, and I'm including my early twenties. Could it be that I love her as a friend?

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I ate falafel today

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Gem, you've had regular sex ever since you were twelve

errrr no, i've been sexually active for about 12 years (i'm 28).

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (nineteen years ago) link

It could be.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Could it be that I love her as a friend?

...or is that just a stupid thing to say? "I love you as a friend." Oh Jesus, someone please slap the shit out of me if I ever actually say that to a woman.

― Lifted, or, the story is 'neath my ass (kenan), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I worry sometimes that I will
(a) never have sex again;
(b) never be in love again; and
(c) both of the above.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:21 (nineteen years ago) link

"I love you as a friend."

someone said that to me once. it broke my heart.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 18 October 2004 06:22 (nineteen years ago) link

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