Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

"I'M ALAN TITCHMARSH!! AHAAA!!"

Seriously tho, I expect Glen Ponder and Savoir Faire to show up any minute

YouTube links please!

every time i've seen it they have on kelvin mackenzie or that john gaunt prick

^^^Can't handle real talk from Man of the People Gaunty.

that john gaunt prick

Goodness, on daytime television! The pornography gets worse!

TASTELESS TACKY TITMARCH TANKS ON AFTERNOON TV! SHAME OF FATHER-OF-TWO! REPORT HIM TO SOCIAL SERVICES IMMEDIATELY Mealnei Plihlpsi writes

Didn't Titchmarsh win an award for the worst description of sex in his books. His show's more Mrs Merton (let's have a heated debate) than Alan Partridge. Never saw Gaunt on it, whenever I see it* it's usually Amanda Platell moaning about the Royal Family.

*Based on a scientific sample of about 3 shows.

^^^Can't handle real talk from Man of the People Gaunty.

i just snorted my cafe latte all over my apple mac and copy of the guardian

oh it's nick ferrari today

Tomorrow it will probably be LBC's Steve Allen.

ILX's Dom Passantino

All I ever see of the Mail is the front page: today's example - boasting that, because of them, Marks & Spencer had stopped giving away free carrier bags - is the sort of thing I might actually admire if only it were done by a paper which did not unswervingly support the economic system which encourages such things.

MC's "YOU WANTED THATCHER, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW" upthread pretty much covers 95% of Mail articles, especially those about deregulated broadcasting.

oh today it's notorious right-wing opinion trumpet Cheryl Baker

Who once sang on a number one record which was a coded denunciation of Thatcherism.

Classic.

Particularly the huge, grainy photo of a scantily clad teenager.

There used to be a time (admittedly, it seems like a lifetime ago) when youngsters sent out invitations. The internet has changed all that.

Oh, internet, what have you done?!?!

Was gonna start a thread about this

Their house looks suspiciously like a pub...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_03/party1703_468x456.jpg

Oh wait there's more...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=535570&in_page_id=1770

It seems the 'house' is in fact a mansion in 20 acres of land used for conferences.

x-post

A pub full of idiots.

I missed the bit of A Clockwork Orange with the mimes.

smuggest use of sic ever

Really, REALLY thinking of pitching an article about Juggalos to the Daily Mail now. Shit would blow their minds.

The captions are the best...
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_03/MimesL1703_468x372.jpg
You looking at me? These two look to have come all the way from France

why do all the comments come from people in Australia, United Arab Emirates etc.

Tories in exile until the return of the One True Government.

Inside, as these photographs show, youngsters were jumping up and down with cans and bottles, spraying them around as though they were at a rave.

those pictures show that? that pic above looks like a rather tame night out in my local.

and "spraying them around as though they were at a rave.", no rave i ever went to did people do this.

laffable

That article is sheer awesome

The picture of all the bottles and cans sorted and crushed in recycling boxes.

"oh noes our "house" is destroyed by a wild party, but NEVER MIX GLASS AND METAL"

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_02/nicolebatLL_1000x895.jpg

^ <3

Her top lip appears to be dead.

Obviously the kid who posted her party details on bebo is a bit thick, but then a lot of kids are a bit thick and naive. I felt quite sorry for her, it must have been fucking terrifying, losing control like that. The ppl who turned up at the house and trashed the place are cunts. It would be really funny if someone ran a dummy party, advertised on web 2.0 social networking sites, and when the lairy lot turned up, have a bunch of heavies spring out of hiding and break their motherfucking legs with iron bars.

Admittedly the picture of the girl in the domme outfit was pretty lulzy. The article is archetypal/typical of the hysterical steez of the dail mail as well "when you are out seeing a show in the city, your teenage children are havig group gay sechks on the washing machine oh no it's a national crisis bring back the birch" etc etc. That paper is such a piece of shit it makes me ashamed to be britishes.

Really, REALLY thinking of pitching an article about Juggalos to the Daily Mail now. Shit would blow their minds.

-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 14:01 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

You must do this. You must then attempt to leverage yourself into a position as a staff writer. There could be nothing funnier in this world than D Passantino on the proud masthead of the daily mail DO IT DOM.

I enjoyed the lament that the mother should have to go through the shame of strangers seeing her daughter in that outfit on the internet, right beside the Mail's reproduction of said photo.

This is also typical mail fare though, yes? "Oh no, YOUR TEENAGE CHILDREN are indulging in kinky sex and wearing provocative outfits, isn't it disgusting? Here's a picture, btw."

Yes it is, but I still love it. My old landlady got the mail everyday and so I used to have regular access (to the newspaper). I couldn't understand how women could read a rag whose stock story was basically 'Women Are Scum'. Then I realised the story was actually 'Other Women Are Scum'.

'Women who are having more fun and decent sex than you are scum.'

decent sex, ha.

Someone make a facebook group to get Dom to join the daily mail staff

"Is fear of offending ethnnic minorities stopping police from ending the misery of teenage sex slaves?"

Check out the amazing Photoshop skillz in the first pic here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=547008&in_page_id=1770

And cower at the v fucking violent video game in the second picture.

Is Anne Diamond doing a gang sign in that picture?

wow that's got to be a joke article.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_04/beat1MOS2903_154x100.jpg
Bea the hippy princess raves at the full moon

"Last Saturday night, Beatrice's group headed to Koh Phagnan to enjoy one of the island's notorious "Full Moon" raves.

A tourist was stabbed to death at that party, although it is not known if Beatrice was aware of this."

o_0

Millions of girls using Facebook, Bebo and Myspace 'at risk' from paedophiles and bullies and we've got the photos!

Facebook makes it too fucking hard to perv on these girls. The one area it's worse than MySpace.

speaking from experience?

Of course.