Ugly Cars: A Picture Thread

I've always been torn over the Avanti

I've always liked the original 60s-era Avantis, but later attempts to keep the marque going post-Studebaker and increasing NHTSA-hostility weren't so good.

This is downright painful

http://www.ssip.net/upload/avanti-convertible-1_30.jpg

http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/06/conti-k-car.jpg

OMGWTFLOL

that's kinda so bad it's good

http://www.ssip.net/upload/avanti-convertible-1_30.jpg

This is downright painful

Ugh, no argument there.

this is apparently some car from 78, but it must have influenced a lot of young car designers. it's looks new.

http://www.carsandtuning.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/midas-coupe.jpg

it's the velvet underground of cars.

http://www.motorauthority.com/wp-content/uploads/Mercedes_Benz/Spy_Shots/GLK/2/MB_GLK_v_update.jpg

I fear this is gonna be huge, but that's because COME ON, PEOPLE, WAS THERE EVER AN UGLIER CAR?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/db/Austin_Allegro_Brown_1.JPG/800px-Austin_Allegro_Brown_1.JPG

Also: SQUARE STEERING WHEEL.

it's cute

WAS THERE EVER AN UGLIER CAR?

Actually: the estate was even worse:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7b/Austin_Allegro_Estate_UK.JPG/800px-Austin_Allegro_Estate_UK.JPG

it's cute

You wouldn't be saying that if you were wrestling with the SQUARE STEERING WHEEL.

Squ-- what? WHAT?!?

http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/classics/austin-allegro/03-large/allegro-colin-cork-007.jpg

Stupidest. Fucking. Car. Ever.

And y'know what? I really want one :)

Awwwwwww that's not rly square. It just kind of...suggests a square. I like it.

Awwwwwww that's not rly square. It just kind of...suggests a square

HAHAH. If only British Leyland had come up with that as a slogan!

It's called a Quartic steering wheel. Supposedly it's that shape to give a better view of the instruments. All bloody four of them...

Anyway, I see your Allegro and raise you a Renault 14...
http://www.leblogauto.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/Joest_O/pub_renault_14_poire.jpg
...nicknamed the pear, although really it was a lemon. My dad had one, it was a backfiring corner-rolling rust magnet.

Also I've just noticed that the guy driving that Allegro is a priest. For some bizarre reason every other Allegro I remember seeing was driven by a priest.

They had a cross-promotion deal with the Pope.

...which segues nicely onto this, the Rover 213/216
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Rower_213SE_white_vl.jpg/250px-Rower_213SE_white_vl.jpg

This thread is some bullshit. The ugliest cars by a goddamn street are the identikit family saloon plastic comfortmobiles. I give you:

http://www.webwombat.com.au/motoring/images/ford-focus-2008-3-big.jpg

And the ugliest Allegro model ever, the "luxury" Vanden Plas
http://www.channel4.com/4car/media-legacy/featpics/topten/w1allegro.jpg
Basically a standard Allegro with a huge chrome grill stuck on the front. Sort of looks like the kind of thing that teenage lads who customise their crappy cars would do, if they wanted their rides to look a little bit like Rolls Royces rather than Mitsubishi Evos.

Nah, that's not so bad. I wouldn't buy one, but I wouldn't spontaneously vomit if I saw it on the street. xp

Ford are consistent offenders, truth be told. The Mondeo was mediocrity itself, and the Ka is unspeakable.

ughhh it is the rodent of cars squash it squash it

http://www.thatcanadiangirl.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/ka_big.JPG

Anyway, I see your Allegro and raise you a Renault 14...

No way! I love the 1970s Renaults, every last one of them. The 16, in particular, was a sheer joy.

http://www.leblogauto.com/images/renault16_tl.jpg

Cf also the Citroen GS and CX, cars that make me weep with joy. (I'm not mentioning the DS because it's a bona fide classic; the later GS and CX are always overlooked.)

Yeah, the Ka was posted somewhere above. Thank goodness it's not being marketed in the US.

The 16 is a cool cucumber!

It's a genuinely beautiful car, and actually has no place on this thread ;)

I'm generally anti-chrome, but make exceptions for old, small Euro/Scandinavian cars.

The 14 is dreadful. Mechanical and rust problems aside, the back end just looks like the designers got bored and said "oh well, whatever" (Gallic shrug), and drew in that huge bulge. And precisely why I think it's so dreadful is that with a little more thought it could have looked amazing. The view from the side is so almost there, but instead of looking like a sleek shark, it's a beached whale.

And the complaint about new small family cars - that they all have that same bloated look - starts with the 14. The rot can be traced right back to the pear.

It sounds like you have issues with this small family car, Mr Snoball. Would you like to talk about them further?

Maybe you should lie down on this couch ...

As long as said couch isn't made of the same vinyl Renault used to make the seats of the 14GTL, then fine...
(I mean, that plastic that would stick to your legs in summer if you wore shorts)

try this couch:
http://www.ritzsite.net/63Stude/1963_Studebaker_Lark_Wagonaire_rear_seat.JPG

heh xpost

Surely the GTL would have had cloth seats, Snoball? Wow.

But yeh, I recall the searing agony of melting-hot vinyl against skinny white thigh. I have a strong eidetic memory of getting into my dad's orange 1973 Datsun Sunny by the side of Stanley Park in Blackpool one beautiful summer's day and ... AARGH, JESUS, THE PAIN.

check this big fuck off suv-antecedent/convertible action

http://michaelelyard.com/CarsMC%20of%20Europe.htm

1938 Mercedes Benz G4 (as in 4WD)

"Only 38 of these were ever produced, primarily for the upper military elite of the 3rd Reich. One was given to Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, and others were used in the occupation of Austria and Czechoslovakia."

^^^ this somehow makes total sense

Took me fucking ages to find a picture of a 1973 (actually: this would be '72, I think) Datsun Sunny.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/183706410_e5f2e21332_m.jpg

And I've totally confused myself as to what the 120Y was, and where that fitted in. One to ponder another time, perhaps.

I trapped my thumb in the door of ours when I was a kid, as well. I think it was the next Sunny:

http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/pitstop/racer/108/images/dat_48.gif

in which I burned my thumb on the cigarette lighter. (What does this do? Ooh, look, it glows! *PRESS* ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!)

Aww, the Sunny is kind of cute.

take two

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c163/wvferrell/merc.jpg

Whoa! I just noticed it's a six-wheeler.

The Aztek is still the champion of this thread though. The comments from Aztek owners in http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/archives/000321.html are hilarious.

http://files.nireblog.com/blogs4/ossimpsons1/files/20041201canyonero.jpg

I'm not old enough to remember the last time there was a giant stink about the government bailing out an auto manufacturer, but the story damn near tells itself.

http://www.allpar.com/photos/plymouth/volare/volare-fleet.jpg

Let's try that again.

http://www.allpar.com/photos/plymouth/volare/volare-fleet.jpg

wow, that's annoying.

What led me to that picture was actually my looking for a picture of the family car when I was a wee one. It was a 1975 Plymouth Volare 4-door. And it looked exactly like this:

http://www.allpar.com/model/aspen-pix/Aspen-01.jpg

That is a picture of a Dodge Aspen. It's the exact same car. So frickin' hot they had to make it twice.