WAS THERE EVER AN UGLIER CAR?
Actually: the estate was even worse:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7b/Austin_Allegro_Estate_UK.JPG/800px-Austin_Allegro_Estate_UK.JPG
it's cute
You wouldn't be saying that if you were wrestling with the SQUARE STEERING WHEEL.
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:35 (fifteen years ago) link
Squ-- what? WHAT?!?
― One Community Service Mummy, hold the Straightedge Merman (Laurel), Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:35 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.channel4.com/4car/media/classics/austin-allegro/03-large/allegro-colin-cork-007.jpg
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:36 (fifteen years ago) link
Stupidest. Fucking. Car. Ever.
And y'know what? I really want one :)
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Awwwwwww that's not rly square. It just kind of...suggests a square. I like it.
― One Community Service Mummy, hold the Straightedge Merman (Laurel), Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:37 (fifteen years ago) link
Awwwwwww that's not rly square. It just kind of...suggests a square
HAHAH. If only British Leyland had come up with that as a slogan!
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:38 (fifteen years ago) link
It's called a Quartic steering wheel. Supposedly it's that shape to give a better view of the instruments. All bloody four of them...
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:55 (fifteen years ago) link
Anyway, I see your Allegro and raise you a Renault 14...http://www.leblogauto.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/Joest_O/pub_renault_14_poire.jpg...nicknamed the pear, although really it was a lemon. My dad had one, it was a backfiring corner-rolling rust magnet.
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 22:57 (fifteen years ago) link
Also I've just noticed that the guy driving that Allegro is a priest. For some bizarre reason every other Allegro I remember seeing was driven by a priest.
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:02 (fifteen years ago) link
They had a cross-promotion deal with the Pope.
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:02 (fifteen years ago) link
...which segues nicely onto this, the Rover 213/216http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Rower_213SE_white_vl.jpg/250px-Rower_213SE_white_vl.jpg
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:04 (fifteen years ago) link
This thread is some bullshit. The ugliest cars by a goddamn street are the identikit family saloon plastic comfortmobiles. I give you:
http://www.webwombat.com.au/motoring/images/ford-focus-2008-3-big.jpg
― country matters, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:07 (fifteen years ago) link
And the ugliest Allegro model ever, the "luxury" Vanden Plashttp://www.channel4.com/4car/media-legacy/featpics/topten/w1allegro.jpgBasically a standard Allegro with a huge chrome grill stuck on the front. Sort of looks like the kind of thing that teenage lads who customise their crappy cars would do, if they wanted their rides to look a little bit like Rolls Royces rather than Mitsubishi Evos.
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Nah, that's not so bad. I wouldn't buy one, but I wouldn't spontaneously vomit if I saw it on the street. xp
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Ford are consistent offenders, truth be told. The Mondeo was mediocrity itself, and the Ka is unspeakable.
― country matters, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:10 (fifteen years ago) link
ughhh it is the rodent of cars squash it squash it
http://www.thatcanadiangirl.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/ka_big.JPG
― country matters, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:15 (fifteen years ago) link
Anyway, I see your Allegro and raise you a Renault 14...
No way! I love the 1970s Renaults, every last one of them. The 16, in particular, was a sheer joy.
http://www.leblogauto.com/images/renault16_tl.jpg
Cf also the Citroen GS and CX, cars that make me weep with joy. (I'm not mentioning the DS because it's a bona fide classic; the later GS and CX are always overlooked.)
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:16 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, the Ka was posted somewhere above. Thank goodness it's not being marketed in the US.
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:16 (fifteen years ago) link
The 16 is a cool cucumber!
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:17 (fifteen years ago) link
It's a genuinely beautiful car, and actually has no place on this thread ;)
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:19 (fifteen years ago) link
I'm generally anti-chrome, but make exceptions for old, small Euro/Scandinavian cars.
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:21 (fifteen years ago) link
The 14 is dreadful. Mechanical and rust problems aside, the back end just looks like the designers got bored and said "oh well, whatever" (Gallic shrug), and drew in that huge bulge. And precisely why I think it's so dreadful is that with a little more thought it could have looked amazing. The view from the side is so almost there, but instead of looking like a sleek shark, it's a beached whale.
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:23 (fifteen years ago) link
And the complaint about new small family cars - that they all have that same bloated look - starts with the 14. The rot can be traced right back to the pear.
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:26 (fifteen years ago) link
It sounds like you have issues with this small family car, Mr Snoball. Would you like to talk about them further?
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:30 (fifteen years ago) link
Maybe you should lie down on this couch ...
As long as said couch isn't made of the same vinyl Renault used to make the seats of the 14GTL, then fine...(I mean, that plastic that would stick to your legs in summer if you wore shorts)
― snoball, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:33 (fifteen years ago) link
try this couch:http://www.ritzsite.net/63Stude/1963_Studebaker_Lark_Wagonaire_rear_seat.JPG
― my inbox so hot (will), Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:35 (fifteen years ago) link
heh xpost
Surely the GTL would have had cloth seats, Snoball? Wow.
But yeh, I recall the searing agony of melting-hot vinyl against skinny white thigh. I have a strong eidetic memory of getting into my dad's orange 1973 Datsun Sunny by the side of Stanley Park in Blackpool one beautiful summer's day and ... AARGH, JESUS, THE PAIN.
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:37 (fifteen years ago) link
check this big fuck off suv-antecedent/convertible action
http://michaelelyard.com/CarsMC%20of%20Europe.htm
1938 Mercedes Benz G4 (as in 4WD)
"Only 38 of these were ever produced, primarily for the upper military elite of the 3rd Reich. One was given to Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, and others were used in the occupation of Austria and Czechoslovakia."
^^^ this somehow makes total sense
― my inbox so hot (will), Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:43 (fifteen years ago) link
Took me fucking ages to find a picture of a 1973 (actually: this would be '72, I think) Datsun Sunny.
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/49/183706410_e5f2e21332_m.jpg
And I've totally confused myself as to what the 120Y was, and where that fitted in. One to ponder another time, perhaps.
I trapped my thumb in the door of ours when I was a kid, as well. I think it was the next Sunny:
http://www.fortunecity.co.uk/pitstop/racer/108/images/dat_48.gif
in which I burned my thumb on the cigarette lighter. (What does this do? Ooh, look, it glows! *PRESS* ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!)
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:44 (fifteen years ago) link
Aww, the Sunny is kind of cute.
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link
take two
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c163/wvferrell/merc.jpg
― my inbox so hot (will), Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:48 (fifteen years ago) link
Whoa! I just noticed it's a six-wheeler.
― Johnny Fever, Thursday, 4 December 2008 23:53 (fifteen years ago) link
The Aztek is still the champion of this thread though. The comments from Aztek owners in http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/archives/000321.html are hilarious.
― Chris Barrus (Elvis Telecom), Friday, 5 December 2008 00:37 (fifteen years ago) link
http://files.nireblog.com/blogs4/ossimpsons1/files/20041201canyonero.jpg
― The Most Photographed Barn on the Internet (Pillbox), Friday, 5 December 2008 01:45 (fifteen years ago) link
I'm not old enough to remember the last time there was a giant stink about the government bailing out an auto manufacturer, but the story damn near tells itself.
http://www.allpar.com/photos/plymouth/volare/volare-fleet.jpg
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:07 (fifteen years ago) link
Let's try that again.
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:08 (fifteen years ago) link
wow, that's annoying.
― Johnny Fever, Friday, 5 December 2008 02:09 (fifteen years ago) link
What led me to that picture was actually my looking for a picture of the family car when I was a wee one. It was a 1975 Plymouth Volare 4-door. And it looked exactly like this:
http://www.allpar.com/model/aspen-pix/Aspen-01.jpg
That is a picture of a Dodge Aspen. It's the exact same car. So frickin' hot they had to make it twice.
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:10 (fifteen years ago) link
(Honestly, it's not half as bad in any other color. But that's the color we had.)
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:12 (fifteen years ago) link
(And all apologies for my hotlinks not working. It is damned annoying.)
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:15 (fifteen years ago) link
The Volare also came in a 2-door coupe.
http://www.moparautos.com/images/80volare.jpg
Something about this car says, "Check out how my gold chain shines in the midst of my chest hair. You know, I submitted a science fiction story to Playboy last month. They never got back to me."
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:23 (fifteen years ago) link
Here it is for anyone who can't see it
http://i36.tinypic.com/29bj6nk.jpg
― Johnny Fever, Friday, 5 December 2008 02:24 (fifteen years ago) link
Aw... I even checked that one in a different browser. Sigh.
Anyway, yeah. There she is.
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:26 (fifteen years ago) link
And here's the first pic I so arrogantly tried to post:
http://tittysprinkles.net/images/ilx/volare-fleet.jpg
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:35 (fifteen years ago) link
You could fill this thread with American cars but anyway
http://www.thevso.com/Stage2/images/blog/08-06-22%20APG/pt-cruiser-2007.jpg
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/autoreview/400x266/2007-Porsche-Cayenne-06605141990001.jpg
^ IT'S A FUCKING PORSCHE
― Brunswicki and Footescray (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:38 (fifteen years ago) link
also good call on that revolting BMW X6 thing.
The Porsche... Cayenne? God in heaven. Can't wait for the 2010 Porsche Canyonero.
― fiscal liberal (kenan), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:45 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.megangolf.com/uploaded_images/renault-megane.JPGbaby got back. seemingly only driven as real estate agent company cars.
That Porsche looks like a steer's skull, and pretty much cheapens the entire company image.
Also lol at the the Coding Horror website with Aztek drivers defending the car; pretty much consists of 'I CAN FIT 3 BOOSTER SEATS IN THE BACK'.
― milling through the grinder, grinding through the mill (S-), Friday, 5 December 2008 02:50 (fifteen years ago) link