Ugly Cars: A Picture Thread

that is terrible!

still can't believe that porsche shit-canned their racing activities (that give their road cars the race-tested aura) for a few years to produce the cayenne

subaru's 'jet-inspired' coupe of the '80s, variously called alcyone, XT or vortex:

http://images.drom.ru/reviews/photos/subaru/alcyone/alc4.JPG

worst-looking rally car of all time, the citroen BX 4TC

http://www.groupbrally.com/images/citroen/citroen_bx4tc_small.jpg

road version: even uglier!

http://koti.mbnet.fi/css/bx/4tc-3.jpg

It's clear that someone in Citroen said "let's build something exactly like an Audi, but make it ugly to throw people off the scent."

My first car: behold, the 1969 Austin 1800 MkII

http://www.aronline.co.uk/images/1800_05.jpg

Inherited from my grandmother. Tractor-sized steering wheel...big long spindly floor shift...manual choke, UGH...steered like a TANK...resplendent in shiny poo brown.... but goddamn I loved that car. Everyone I knew laughed at it, but all my tall friends secretly loved it because they never had to put the seat back when they sat in the front seat. Deceptively roomy.

Throw in power steering and automatic transmission, and that car's just fine!

that's not ugly!

Yeah, I wouldn't kick that car out of the garage.

It looks almost like a VW Squareback with different cosmetics.

yeah definitely. the grill is kind of busy but it seems pretty solid

awww. I've never seen so much Austin love in one place. You guys rule.
Back in the day it was hailed as a 'triumph of engineering over design'. Its nickname was 'the land crab'.

xpost David R: automatic transmission entailed a crazy little flip switch on the dash console. Which, given the angle of the steering wheel and depth of the seats, always sounded kinda awkward to me. Not convinced autotrans was the way to go though. My girl was heav-y...you need the guts of the manual tranny to get it over the hills.

It's clear that someone in Citroen said "let's build something exactly like an Audi, but make it ugly to throw people off the scent."

I love how French auto design departments are so willfully insane. Here's a Peugeot 308RC.. still trying to clone a Audi (the TT I'm guessing) but just so utterly unholy in its wrongness.

http://www.carpages.co.uk/peugeot/peugeot_images/peugeot_308_rcz_05_08_07.jpg

It's funny how real cars are starting to look more and more like Hot Wheels.

that citroen rally car looks like someone just took a regular, shitty citroen wagon, nailed a spoiler on the back and slapped on some decals. And the road version looks like its door is smashed in.

that citroen rally car looks like someone just took a regular, shitty citroen wagon, nailed a spoiler on the back and slapped on some decals

Er, that's because ... :)

I didn't mind the BX, actually. It wasn't a patch on what came before it, but it was still a little bit interesting, as opposed to the tedium Citroen churns out now. Indeed, this:

http://www.greencarsite.co.uk/GREENCARS/green-cars-photos/citroen-xsara-picasso-hdi.jpg

is a car I loathe so much I barely have the words. There's something about the rear view:

http://foto.autozone.be/fotoseurotax/450/citroen-xsara-picasso-diesel-2004-4475.jpg

that really offends me. And that - ^ - is the kind of view you tend to see a lot, ie stuck in the middle of a road with the brake lights on and the indicators doing something mental, because these things (and apologies if anyone round here has one -- BUT REALLY, GO AND GET A BETTER CAR, PLEASE -- seem so often to be driven by brain-dead fucks in their early 50s, for whom the Highway Code is but a distant memory).

Chris B.'s choices baffling to me, until I remember his picks for a beautiful car thread on here. He gets major points for consistency, although I think he lives in crazy upside-down land. (Well, ok, the X6 IS an abomination.) More seriously, the Mercedes GLK and the Citroen C6 work a lot better in the metal than in pictures -- maybe you've never seen them on the road?

Anyway: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/mark.saxby/marcos/mini.jpg

"Hi, I'm a cross between the ugly early 2000s Benz and the monopoly car"

I think those Maybachs are pretty nice.

HI DERE

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/06/Ford_Scorpio_1995_Taxi_hl.jpg

http://www.carpages.co.uk/peugeot/peugeot_images/peugeot_308_rcz_05_08_07.jpg

wait, is the windscreen on the wrong end?

some fucked up perspective going on there otherwise

it seems to have an ass crack for a roof

i think that's what the sterling was based on

The Sterling is considerably larger than the 213 or 216. Our neighbour had one. But it does share that same "big ugly slabs of plastic along the doors" look.

resplendent in shiny poo brown

The Maxi is one of those cars that looks good, as long as the chrome's kept shiny and the paint isn't brown. See also...
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e2/Vauxhall_Chevette_loved_by_learners.JPG/800px-Vauxhall_Chevette_loved_by_learners.JPG

^^^ Vauxhall Chevette - that's a later one. Earlier ones had big shiny chrome hubcaps like flying saucers. Problem was that most of them were 70's diarrhoea brown and rusted to hell.

I was a big fan of the Chevette. My late great-uncle had a P-reg Opel Kadett saloon (the Kadett being the same car as the Chevette, and obviously sporting interesting phonotactic similarities, too; that said I never quite understood the point of being able to buy both Opel- and Vauxhall-branded vehicles in the UK, and obviously GM agreed because they canned that idea in the eighties). I loved it, especially the weird plastic flaps on the rear pillars, one of which opened up to reveal the fuel nozzle.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Vauxhall_Chevette_Sedanlette.jpg

So many of these look fucking cool. Including the Mustang II.

It helps that I had toy version of a lot of the 70s cars, the AMC Pacer included.

entertaining racing but ugly - the Daytona Prototype

http://www.autocult.com.au/img/gallery/CARmageddon690.jpg

wow, erm streamlined?

it kinda reminds me of this

http://misc.kitreview.com/shipreviews/images/ussmonitorreviewbg_1.jpg

http://www.ukcar.com/road_tests/mazda/demio/Demio1.jpg

this is the car i drive. (sans bumper and in muddy green)

boringest cah evah

Thank you, Mazda, for not even bothering to market that car in America.

Although, my favorite car I've ever had was a 323 Wagon that looked something like this:

http://i38.tinypic.com/2u89ys1.jpg

...except it wasn't beat all to hell, had alloy wheels and a sunroof.

Nothing says "upgraded rental" like a Chrysler Sebring

http://www.theautochannel.com/media/photos/chrysler/1998/98_chrysler_sebring_conv_jxi.jpg

"Sebring" sounds like medical shorthand for a really unpleasant condition; one I don't actually want to imagine, but can't help doing now.

All those square Scion cars bother me.

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/5909/scioncarsjz9.jpg

^no

Yeah, any Scion which isn't a tC is pretty gross. And I'm not even convinced by the tC anymore, which has become boring in its own way.

I hate everything about this vehicle

http://www.horizonluxurycars.com/used_cars_images/2004_Chevrolet_Avalanche_1500.jpg

my "no" meant no, it's not ugly. Love that thing.

My old boss drove one of the Chevy Z71 things. He was a huge asshole.

I have a KA! i think its homely! glad its in black though.

the grill of both the ford focus and the kia amanti are truly ugly

(i've got images off, sorry if these were mentioned)

the Z71 is one of those vehicles that I'm sure lots of people purchase for its functionality, but you can pretty much guarantee any one who owns but doesn't 'need' is indeed a huge asshole.

http://hembaba.com/reviews/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/toyota-prius-hybrid.jpg

Yeah, is there any reason Toyota had to make the Prius as ugly as they made it?

ford focus was mentioned, in fact ford as a whole was condemned

omg

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e327/oldschool92/caprice004.jpg

that has an awesome affinity to the humble platypus

o don't go knockin the caprice now

http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/07/Ten-Ugly-Compass.jpg