people who poop first thing at work in the morning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaUogmewRyc

she's convinced it works, i dont buy that herbal hippie bullshit. You need to shit, the remedy is a six pack of bud heavies and two shots of sambuca.

BLAMMO

A trip to Captain D's always works for me.

Wait, there is a tea that makes your poops not feel like you are having an anal baby?

Whatever bargain basement coffee we used to have at work would do the trick for me within 45 minutes, even if I had just shit. It was amazing.

But yeah, I am like a twice-daily person AT LEAST lately.
(tmi poop etc)

I'm a one or two poops per day person. If I poop three times in one day, I might start thinking 'oh that's not good', but otherwise two Yule logs a day is fine.

ok I regret asking now

;)

who knew this thread would ruin Yule logs

yes its clinically tested on your anus.

steel cut oatmeal d00dz

I eat oatmeal every day! It was my husband's hypothesis that the oatmeal was causing this phenomenon. I told him that doesn't make any sense.

I feel that the only way to get to the bottom of this is to do a test - fast, and then set an alarm for 4-5 AM, and see what happens.

surprised that this was not a chrisv revive, but damn he stepped up to the plate.

i had a roommate years ago who pooped first thing at home in the morning every day. happily, i got up later than he did, but i always knew where to find the sports section.

WHY DO YOU ALL TALK ABOUT POO ALL THE TIME WHYYYY

tbf the word "poop" is the third word in the thread title

I go between 10 and 1030 everyday (about an hour after my coffee - I like to have it when I come in first thing) and have to walk by about 10 people on the way out -- I'm kind of paranoid that they know where I'm going...

As pointed out above, I guess I could get up an hour earlier and just have coffee at home, but sleeping > getting up early

I go between 10 and 1030 everyday

God I misread this to mean you go 10 TIMES a day and I was all dude, see a DOCTOR.

there must be some unique australian euphemisms for pooping

tell us them

When I do have to poop at work I always feel self-conscious if there is someone in the other stall, but I also hate being embarrassed because it's the bloody toiilet, where else am I supposed to do it? Like girls only shit butterflies and poop rainbows, whatever

I like taking a shit at work. It's pretty great to be getting paid to shit on company time.

man i just cracked up so much re-reading this thread and reminding myself how much i hassled cutty

^^^ especially if you've brought a magazine

xp

I think our crap euphemisms are likely the same as everywhere right? "dropping the kids off at the pool" and whatnot. God, I cant think of any!

I try not to mull over this topic as a general rule.

I know where a good place to think is

Drop the kids off at the pool, lol

The few I remember are:
Laying cable
Strangling a king brown snake
Giving birth to a kiwi/pom/insert whoever (my dad's friend always said Pom)...apologies to sheepfuxors and Britishers :)

http://www.gastroscout.com/woc/crapterm.cfm

aussies letting me down here tbh

POOP IS FUNNY MAN LOLZ FUJL I SULD PUT THA BOTTA0 AWAY

http://fireflyblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/POM-Wonderful.jpg

???

also there is a certain joy of working the coffeemaker and drinking the morning coffee in your underwear

― cutty

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/55194/55194,1205748778,2/stock-photo-a-handsome-young-man-in-his-underwear-looking-at-his-morning-cup-of-coffee-10451947.jpg

stock-photo-a-handsome-young-man-in-his-underwear-looking-at-his-morning-cup-of-coffee.jpg

he's very contemplation

ok what about have u ever had that situation where like somebody goes in and u see them - going in to the stall

and they like start going at it right away - don't even wait for u to leave the bathroom

u know i just feel like that's kind of uncomfortable cuz what if next time i see u that's all i can think abouts

That guy is like "I wonder what would happen if I poured this down my pants?"

omg he is

he's on something

or the soup can just turned him on and hes going to rub one out right there in the kitchen

oh its coffee, whatever

"cutty, do you sit on the seat or are you one of those people who squats over it and then flushes with his foot?"

haha, i am a squatter/foot flusher

actually that's what i was thinking at first xp

great minds, etc :D

he went to a rave at the gym and now hes trying to come down

ugh so otm

poor cutty. someone shd help him, or at least give him a fruit rollup lol

wow this thread is omg zim zam wow

Currently taking my dinp