Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

what.

My boss who isn't really my boss repeated the phrase "all very positive signs" more than 5 times in her presentation of last year's numbers. The thing is, if you were to look at the data in a fair and balanced way, there were no positive signs at all. However, to say so would really hurt the feelings of those people in my organization who didn't actually want to do any work, so we had to provide her with numbers that she could spin. God, it's such an empty charade.

Ha is he confusing with "watershed" or something maybe Ljub?

I'd forgive him that. But I bet some twat in London has started using it and he's just straight out copying.

Sure, my new position here is a little overwhelming, but I'll get the hang of it. I can even tolerate the desperately sad "Kid Rock says that there ain't no party like a Detroit party 'cause a Detroit party don't stop!" during an online/conference call presentation (if for other reason than that it's a good story to tell people about how this company has eaten peoples' souls). And I appreciate the fact that you're mentoring me. You've been very helpful. But when you whisper to a co-worker whose cube is adjacent to mine about how they should assist me, that tells me two things: 1) you think I can't hear you when I'm one foot away, and 2) wouldn't sending an e-mail to said co-worker be a more effective means of surreptitious communication than whispering?

Woohoo, I accepted a new job and put in my two weeks' notice today! The problem wasn't with my co-workers (who all said "Good for you. I wish I could find a new job") but the higher-ups in other cities who I've never met. Like my ineffective boss. And whoever it was above him who decided that the person who takes over my overwhelming, underpaid, full-time position shouldn't have health insurance. Oh man, this company can suck it.

lol

What's their reasoning for not giving him/her health insurance?

I'm interested to hear that too. Assuming this is a U.S. Company that provides pre-tax benefits (and please tell me is either are not the case), an employer cannot legally just arbitrarily choose who to give insurance to.

The IRS requires that the company's official " plan document" house plan eligibility rules, and they must amend them going forward.

So unless this person was in a class already deemed ineligible or they're changing the plan, it sounds like they are breaking the law, and the IRS could disqualify the plan if they found out.

Of course that is all heavily based on multiple assumptions on my part!

They may be doing what Wal-Mart does--keeping this person's hours just under the full-time mark so that they don't have to give benefits.

Yea, that's how most companies get around it, cuz all that is is keeping someone from meeting the minimum eligibility requirements.

That's why places like Best Buy hire mostly part-timers.

supervisor: oh so I heard from VH that you were late to a meeting with her?
me: What?! No, I wasn't. I called and asked her if we could push back a meeting we had by 1/2 an hour because I was running a bit late. She agreed and I was there a few minutes before the newly agreed upon time.
supervisor: oh well she's sorta . . . yeah . . . *makes crazy face*

DEAR VH: FUCK YOU. YOU ARE WITHOUT A DOUBT THE MOST OBNOXIOUSLY TYPE A PERSON I'VE EVER MET AND I HATE YOU. YOU REALLY HAD TO SAY SOMETHING TO MY SUPERVISOR ABOUT THAT? I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU SAID WAS A LIE. I HATE YOU YOU ANAL RETENTIVE ANNOYING LIAR.

I stab VH with my brain!

I just started a new job and it is unnervingly slow. I am used to being overworked and underappreciated! My old company would have considered this workload a part-time job. I rejoice!

They're calling it a "full-time contract position." The job listing is up on the site now (I work for a well-known media company) and commenters have already noticed the lack of benefits and compared us to WalMart. Nice. Of course, in this economic climate, I'm sure there will be no shortage of applicants anyway.

im currently teaching english in mexico to high schoolers. stuck with another girl (we dont like each other basically) where we have to teach a few classes together and she is constantly trying to undermine me while im trying out games and activities ive got prepared for the class (calling out answers and being an arsehole). had words with her already but she often tries to push me with this shite from time to time. grrrrr.

That is so ridiculously unprofessional, wth!?

Okay, so we get a fruit basket delivered every week to the office. Instead of taking an apple when the want to eat it, some people are taking loads and putting it in their draws, presumably to eat during the week. This REALLY winds me up. What's the best way of dealing without ending up on the passive-aggressive notes thread, or do I just need to get over myself and go and buy some fruit?

What's the best way of dealing without ending up on the passive-aggressive notes thread

get there before them :)

happened here just today. dude took 1/4 of the grapes (meant for an office of of 30+ people) and a banana and something else to eat with his 11ses...

The thing is, you can steal all the fruit yourself, but then you're just doing onto others what's been done to you, which is the epitome of NAGL.

Next week, I might make a show of taking ALL the fruit from the bowl and putting it in my draws. But that makes me look even more of a cock. Gaaaaah!

The worst thing is that IT DOESN'T MATTER!

ARGH. Dude you have headphones, I see you using them every day. But every day around noon while you eat your lunch and watch stupid golf clips on your computer they disappear and you force the rest of the office to listen to the clips. ARGH. Also, no one uses AOL anymore, I don't need to hear the "You've Got Mail" at deafening volume either.

haha. jon you seem to work in the most annoying office of all time.

I have now gotten about ten emails and two instant messages for the dude with the similar name to mine in the last week.  I'd be sympathetic if A. the emails didn't display our locations next to him, and I clearly do not work in Texas, and B. if I hadn't already asked them politely to please double check before sending emails that they had the right one.

It's not just an innocuous thing either, there's a few times where something got delayed or done late because they were emailing the wrong person and that person was out of the office or didn't know what they were talking about.

haha. jon you seem to work in the most annoying office of all time.

Honestly no, the golf clips guy is the same guy who scrapes his plastic bowl and is also the same one that asks everyone mundane stuff. So if he and popcorn girl would clean up their acts, it would be mostly fine.

actually have a real one now, tho this is not from within my new dept, but someone in another dept.

Anyway, to simplify the scenario, I build tools that service reps use on calls. You get a stock template to work from, and anything you add or remove gets tracked so they can see where you differed from the template.

Generally then, you give it to the people who own the technology and they give the marked up template an editorial review, make final tweaks, and that's that. If your client wants to view the tool, then you do the editorial review first, then send them a 'clean' copy to look at.

This last time, the guy in charge was too busy and agreed that I'd just give the template to the client to review without an editorial review first. Not the best way to do things, but it saved him time, so whatever. Because of this, I had to clean up the document first before I sent it to our client.

The client made their own suggested revisions, which I then looked at, incorporated, and posted a final clean copy for the editorial team.

They are mad that I didn't give them a 'marked up' copy to look at, which is the norm. I fired back that because they didn't do an editorial review first, the only way I would have been able to do that is if I took the document that the client marked up, then copied everything over to the original document I marked up (which is over 100 documents). It would have been such an arduous and lengthy process, not to mention one with the potential for error, that it would have taken me an extra week.

I mean...I saved YOU time by foregoing the editorial review earlier. Did you not anticipate a tradeoff? You can't implement a compromise that benefits only you the first time, and then expect me to do it again a second time. It isn't a 'compromise' if it benefits just you and nobody else.

anywho, he's gonna get in some crap for this.

"Hey there young lady, I see you've got your boots on. Ready for the snow?"
"Hello sir, you've got your tea, huh?"
"Why hello, looks like you've got yourself a box there."
"You've got a coat on, don't you?"

best ilx thing of the month!

Next week, I might make a show of taking ALL the fruit from the bowl and putting it in my draws.

I only endorse this if you meant your underwear.

http://img.youtube.com/vi/jukZ10-hHJk/0.jpg

Hahah I was gonna make a similar comment earlier and forgot to. xpost

Oh man, for the past two days a guy near me has been rocking out to whatever he is listening to on his headphones. His extremely loud and off-key whistling and desktop drum solos are super annoying.

I've been known to do that by accident momentarily. The tapping on desk at least. Then I remember where I am and stop, sheepishly. I also play air-keyboards on the edge of my desk along to Telefon Tel Aviv albums.

I'd have a much higher tolerance for it if it were an accidental "whoops where am I" thing, but this is like every 30-45 seconds with the whistling and every 8-10 minutes with the desk drumming.

so re: my issue hte other day, basically my project lead and I nailed the group on screwing up royally, and their lead has been apologetic, so I'm kinda happy none of it fell back on me.

:-)

One month in, new department gets a solid A.

Oh man, for the past two days a guy near me has been rocking out to whatever he is listening to on his headphones. His extremely loud and off-key whistling and desktop drum solos are super annoying.

― rendezvous then i'm through with HOOS (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, March 1, 2011 5:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Is he whistling something by Billy Squier?

STROKE ME STROKE ME. POPCORN GIRL.

RUB YOUR BUTTERY SALTY FINGERS ON MY WANG.

^^^lyrics to new Jet single

lol

i am going to fucking scream at piss vag. Every week she calls me around this time to ask if its ok that she submits her weekly financials to me. Every week I tell her that they are due at noon on thursdays and every week this dipshit sends them to me at 3. Then has the balls (or rotten vag) to complain that she didn't get her checks. this woman lives on another planet.

As a result of my department change, my desk moved. while I'm away from Smelly Old Smoke Lady with Delinquent Son now, which makes me happy, I sit near a team of service reps. Usually their conversations are harmless and quiet, although today they managed to all agree that Gwyneth Paltrow's version of "Fuck You" is better than Cee-Lo's, which is inexcusable.

In all seriousness, though, then the convo went to the recent BYU player who was dismissed from the college basketball team for having premarital sex. About four of them (mostly just two people on opposing sides with occasion contributions from the others) got in a passionate debate about whether this was right or not. For the first five minutes, I was alright with it, but then the conversation lasted another 35 minutes, and got louder, and louder, and more intense.

It passed the point of innocuous to disruptive and the dude who started the discussion just wouldn't let it go or shut up, even though everybody else had said they didn't feel like arguing anymore. I even agreed with the dude but he was soooo annoying.

Finally had to ask their manager to step in to shut them up.

hokay, if you're going to ask me to take a look at a file (one you actually have open and are looking at and do not need time to find) at 4:35 on a Friday afternoon and say you'll send it to me, you'd better send it to me right there and then

it is a Friday! I want to go home! and not wait for you to piss about! and then have to stay past 5 looking at this file! which I'm 99% sure has got buggered up due to reasons entirely beyond my control anyway!

shoulda just used this thread

~big sigh~

coworker who is frequently sour and negative and doesn't mind letting everybody know when she's in a bad mood.. STOP IT

no, really, go ahead and make a big show of how put out you are by mundane tasks today, that's awesome

kick her in the gunt

I just don't understand why she needs to let everyone know how grumpy she is. Well, why she needs to let the cube dwellers know. Management thinks she's cheerful as can be no doubt

The associate attorney (younger than me, and computer literate when he feels like it) whines a lot about how he can't save fillable PDFs on his computer. We use them a lot and it's annoying that every time I need a subpoena, I have to fill out the whole thing anew. Finally figured out that he was using MICROSOFT INTERNET EXPLORER to open PDFs (and every other document!), which was where the problems with saving came in.

I've tried a million times to make the attorneys go through My Computer to open files, but every single one of them uses either IE or Word to open every type of file.