The dying days of the Fourth Reich: it's the 2007 AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL ELECTION

Swan's worm is flatlining, going up slightly

why is the debate in the middle of the day?

"economic plan for all australians"
"enhance national prosperity"
"investing in people"
"climate change + water = challenges yu0"
"downward pressure on interest rates"
"economic conservative" <-- worm dipped at this point
"low taxes"
"economic wankspeak blah blah"
"market reforms"
"prosperity"
"mining boom"
"golden opportunity being squandered"
"11 years of inaction on hospitals/schools/infrastructure"
"inflation & interest rates rising"
"skills crisis"
"rba has warned you fuckers Y0U DO NOT LISTEN"
"education and training" <-- worm loves this, goes spastic
"broadband"
"fair + balanced" <-- OH NOES SHUP YOU MENTAL
"enterprise level bargaining" <-- worm dipping, probably bored
"working families have never been better off my arse" <-- paraphrasing
"my package is enormous"

Worm moderately positive most of the way through. Costello looks like jabba the hut for some reason.

He's STILL talking and I need to go to the toot.

why is the debate in the middle of the day?

-- electricsound, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 12:40 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Because it's in the normal press club luncheon slot, and because nobody wants to see accountants talk for 90 mins

Costello is getting positive worms omg

"good economy better"
"climate change"
"harness economic resources"
"literacy & numeracy" <-- note absence of critical thought
"find cures of tomorrow"
"diseases which we can't treat properly at present" <-- e.g. being in the Liberal party
"look after pensioners"
"jobs"
"unemployment rate is lower, budget is in black"
"good fortune wasn't luck ffs, no accident you cunce"
"gst is good" <-- worm collapses; first negative all day in fact
"i have a plan!!! no really"
"more competitive tax system"
"figures marginal tax rate money fiscal primary forecast dowaward pressure etc etc" <-- worm doesn't understand this either but LOVES IT
"extra technical schools"
"young people will get technical training"
"training time for small business"
"$168 million over five years for training vouchers etc"
"aged & disability pensioners, carers, retirees" <-- worm likes this
"strong economy"
"IN PER PE TU I TY"
"provisioning for the future"

Worm moderately positive again. Compare & contrast this with howard's blatherfest last weekend

Stephen Lewis, News Ltd: "Should Aus sustain four automotive manufacturers?"

WHO CARES

No surprise the Murdoch journalist asks the pointless questions

Costello answering first, getting moderate negatives from the worm. Fucknose what he's saying. He looks lost actually.

Worm ended on a high for Costello there.

Swan: "future for manufacturing in this country". worm is giving him a big wet gob job

woah and I think it's swallowing now

Paul Bongiorno, Ten News (oxymoron): "Will Swan commit to not mounting a challenge within first 18 months of govt, and will Costello not mount a similar challenge" (audience erupts in laughter)

Swan:
"I commit to being Rudd's treasury secretary" <-- OOPS
"treasurer for >10 yrs; no interviews to biographers" <-- jab at Costello; worm v happy

Costello:
"won't commit to not challenging to Rudd, because i need to challenge economic inexperience" <-- worm grumpy
"i will serve howard into next term, or as long as we work together" <-- worm lukewarm, knows lies when it sees them

Laura Tingle, Fin Review: some shit about GDP and inflation rate targets, i dunno

Swan:
"howard ignores everything" <-- worm happy
"skills infrastructure education blah blah"

Costello:
"10 surplus budgets" <-- worm wanes
"labor did this, labor did that <-- worm hates this
"i give credit to previous labor for deregulating home mortgage interest rates & cutting tariffs" <-- worm goes FUCKING SPASTIC
"can swan do the same" <-- worm plunges to flatline

Swan:
"I also credit '80s labor for reforms" <-- worm is all over this shiznit

Costello:
"we are ace and we got no help from you fucks" <-- worm flatlines

Some bloke from AMP(?): "reinstate trade unionists in reserve bank board?"

Costello:
various shit about trade unions <-- worm flatline
"70% labor cabinet trade union blah" <-- worm bored

Swan:
"i am not a former trade union official you penis" <-- worm happy
stuff about a unionist on the reserve bank board <-- worm loves this

Another News Ltd gimp: "swan will you kill the economy by removing workchoices?"

Swan:
"costello is a lying poo" <-- worm flatlines
"we want fairness & balance, this is not inflationary" <-- worm bored

Costello:
"our IR laws are PERFECT" <-- worm dropped so hard it fell off the screen. THIS WILL BE NEWS
"cannot roll back changes, risk risk omg" <-- worm says no
"deregulated market, full employment, pressure on inflation" <-- worm slightly negative

Karen Middleton, SBS: "would you reconsider tax cuts?"

Swan:
"no but we are balanced" <-- worm bouncing up & down
"we have a health & hospital plan, education revolution etc" <-- worm gleeful

Costello:
"our tax plan is for da future" <-- worm grouchy
"labor voted to do bad shit in 1993" <-- worm flatlines, probably bored

Costello is getting positive worms omg

This is spectacular, especially out of context =)

Also:

Costello:
"our IR laws are PERFECT" <-- worm dropped so hard it fell off the screen. THIS WILL BE NEWS

Are you serious, did it really!?

Tim Colebatch, The Age: "foreign debt is a concern?"

Costello:
makes gag <-- worm unhappy
"commonwealth govt has no net debt, therefore no issue shut up" <-- worm unhappy
"o'seas borrowing is because of investment surge" <-- flatline
"we = teh saving" <-- slight positive

Swan:
"i am concerned with foreign debt" <-- worm very happy
"declining productivity growth"
"need to lift export performance inc. services, therefore reduce foreign debt"
"superannuation is good" <-- happy

(xpost - yep)

Sue Dunleavy, Daily Nazigraph: "as PM, what will separate you from howard (three differences please); if no differences, why change ffs"

Costello:
a joke about rudd, loads of smirking <-- bad worm
"TEEEEEEEEEAM" <-- bad worm
"tax reform, IR reform, super reform, docks reform" <-- evidently no worm reform
"we don't always agree" <-- cue odd couple music
"continuity of policy"
"rudd is all me-too" <-- flatline
(note the lack of three differences here)

Swan:
"costello would make workchoices worse" <-- worm is ON HELIUM

Phil Coorey, SMH: "fed govt has money, states don't, so give some back you fuck"

Swan:
"no"
"hospitals, blame game" <-- worm floating
"work WITH states ffs" <-- worm floating

Costello:
"all gst goes to states" <-- flat
"labor is bad for some reason" <-- flat
something I didn't understand <-- worm goes up
"labor state govts are shit" <-- worm dips
"labor = mismanagement" <-- WHAT THE FUCK

u have finally found perfect vocation: pro liveblogger

Karen Middleton, SBS

I believe i once shared a uni student office with her, she was a very smart woman.

As an aside to the John Laws rekkid further upthread, I once had in my possession a red coloured 7" of his with the tale of "The Bradford Fairy Godmother", which was a five minute advert for Bradford Insulation. There were a couple of poems on the other side. I gave it to a friend ages ago who probably didn't even have a record player. :(

BTW Almy, I speak for us all I am sure when I say you are entertaining us magnificently today.

Shane Wright, Westralian: "defend your tax cuts in the face of inflation pls, coz nz did same thing and the whole country sank into the ocean"

Costello:
"full employment > mass unemployment" <-- flat
"low unemployment is still a problem" <-- flat, also WHAT THE FUCK
"our tax plan = teh rox0r" <-- worm happy
"building capacity, take pressure out of system" <-- worm happy
"budget in surplus"

Swan:
"labor shortages" <-- worm has orgasm

xpost hurrah! I probably would lose mooentum if nobody were reading this

Someone from Dow Jones: "how to make rba board appointments transparent"

Swan:
nice things <-- worm happy
"open + transparent" <-- worm happy

Costello:
"labor = disingenuous" <-- worm happy

Some guy who wasn't introduced properly: "spend on health + education > tax cuts?"

Swan:
"people want both" <-- worm spunks again

oops

Costello:
"people want tax relief" <-- worm wants costello relief
"prices are going up" <-- worm agrees
"state govts = evil" <-- worm dips
"people want help" <-- worm happy

Clinton Porteous (yes that's his real name), Courier Mail: "liberal polling is shit, interest rates have risen despite your LIES, why should anyone trust costello ffs"

Swan:
"I have more experience now than costello did when he became treasurer" <-- worm v happy
"we don't take polls for granted" <-- worm happy

Costello:
"i am prepared for unforeseen events" <-- worm slightly negative
"fuck experience, it's all about policy" <-- flat
"can't turn our backs on IR policy" <-- flat
"i am made entirely of play-doh" <-- flat

The antics of the worm are quite seriously the single most exciting thing about this never-ending, Godless campaign.

Vote Worm [1]

someone from 7 network: "aistralians have never been better off my arse, also what about me-tooism"

Costello:
blathering about stuff <-- worm gone to sleep
"look after pensioners" <-- worm dreaming of eating chocolate in chocolate land

Swan:
"howard = teh liar" <-- worm goes to jupiter
"housing affordability crisis is REAL" <-- worm happy
"we are in touch with working families" <-- worm happy

Costello hasn't landed a single punch on Swan yet.

Michelle "HOT CHICK" Grattan, The Age: "costello must keep howard's promises or die"

Costello:
"yes ffs" <-- flat
"we deliver, we are DHL" <-- flat
"we invest in schools and shit" <-- worm wakes up
"stronger economy" <-- worm goes back to sleep

notably costello is fumbling at this point

Swan:
"libs broke promise about keeping interest rates at record lows" <-- worm ejaculates

Closing statement happy fun time

Costello:
"we are funky, we are tssssssssssssss hot, we eat sex for breakfast"
"we take action on climate change"
"we build schools, no really"
"small business = engine room of aus economy"
"economy = enabling mechanism"
"economy = better std of living"
"i am passionate" <-- ew
"ambitions omg"

worm moderately positive for most of this

Michelle "HOT CHICK" Grattan

Swan:
"stronger economy"
"end blame game"
"support those who can't afford to support themselves"
"don't re-elect stale govt which will do anything to get re-elected"
"increase skills etc"
"i won't blame someone else like HE does"
"working families"

worm fucking effusive nearly the whole time

worm results released on a current affair tonight. fuck that shit.

What happens to the worm now? does it take a holiday or is it killed and eaten?

Worm is put into battery in anticipation of the next debate between foreign ministers Alexander Downer and Robert McClelland.

Worm is put into battery in anticipation of the next debate between foreign ministers Alexander Downer and Robert McClelland.

DAT'S GOOD EATIN'

That's great that Swan did well. (even though he's a little bit of a knobhead)
Thanx for the sweet sweet liveblog action Almy!

It kept my mind off the physical pain for a couple of hours :)

Swan didn't flub once in the whole 90 minutes, and Costello didn't land a punch on him in the whole 90 minutes.

The explicit reason Costello wanted this debate was to show up who he perceived to be a weak shadow treasurer. It didn't work.

Thanks, dear Autumn - that was fab
Also, did anyone see Howard on 7:30 Report last night. He seemed particularly feeble. A shame it wasn't on commercial TV so all the knobs who vote for him could have seen him coming apart at the seams.

It's not big or clever, but I had fun doing it...

http://home.iprimus.com.au/jrsmorrison/Images/PoliticalWit.gif

Please feel free to email that on to like-minded Howard-hating persons, by the way.

Are you the trumpet player from Hey Hey It's Saturday?

No. Weirdly enough, you are not the first person to ask.

Howard on last night's 7.30 Report was pointless. He started with "let's talk about the future" and went on about the past for THE WHOLE INTERVIEW. Kerry even tried to pull him back by saying "you're talking about the past again". Made no difference.