Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

- random 4

Ugh. When we are discussing a thing, sure, lets all stand around while we talk specifics. Once we've sorted that out, let me get back to my goddamn work. Dont stand there shaking your head and rolling your eyes and going "man, damn thing we really [blah blah stopped listening to you about 10 minutes ago you boring tit]" about nothing in particular because I DONT CARE ANYMORE GO AWAY.

c'mon man, I'm doing your work from yesterday and all of our shared work for today while you are in the next room watching college basketball

surprise surprise, idiot boss, the girl you hired not even 3 months ago, who you 'jokingly' described as so 'defeated-looking' that she would be 'perfect' for our company is now constantly calling in sick/not showing up/asking for time off/turning up late.

oh and NOW you're considering my blog idea bc your clueless 'techy' friend said it sounded good!

At least she spoke about it to someone and didn't claim it for herself :)

hello mark c!

DEAR SLURPY CO-WORKER: people can hear you slurping your tea and coffee and wetly eating biscuits from 1000000 miles away, STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! It is toe-curlingly gross! Argh!

It also makes me paranoid that I could slurp too so I now SIP my coffee when in fact I need it so much I would prefer it intravenously (ok that's a lie, that would also be horrid but... whatever).

You, who left bacon strips poking up out of the sink drain, are unspeakably foul.

ugh that's gross

well my boss stormed out of here in a huff after arguing with our director. part of me hopes he quits so i can take his job.

COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH WEIRD GURGLING NOISE COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH

i am srsly about to go spare

<3 ur d/n!!

^_^ ta

so some guys at work fire up Quake nearly everyday at lunch. it's generally pretty amusing cuz they're not really the gamer types at all but they know Quake deathmatch backwards and forwards after years of the same routine. the other day one guy (who's 60+) started saying "UNDERDAAAAWG" or "I'M THE WINNER" seemingly after every kill. went from lol to PLZ STFU pretty quickly. lot of annoyed mumbling in surrounding cubicles where the only the thing i could make out was "ajsdhf jsnnf a nf underdog asj sahhs".

So the helpdesk TL comes up and starts off with "so you know how X is going on a month's leave from next week..."

- I'm the one who covers a large chunk of X's job when he's away
- no, I wasnt aware of this months leave because no one tells me anything grr
- TL dude was as annoyed as I was that I didnt know
- I generally like my job but this place has the orginsational skills of a... bag of disorganised rats.

Imagining you working with rat kings.

had a bake morning for charity

One coworker didn't bake anything, so went down and bought a load of cakes at the local shop

Paid for it out of communal tea kitty, which is now empty

Doesn't see a problem

wtf

ha ha ha that's awesome, that takes a special kind of blinkered that needs to be cherished.

until we run out of kitkats, yeah sure

what a scumbag

isn't that theft?

that is assholishness of the highest order at the very least

magnificent shitbaggery

monumental fucktardery

douchebagitude

What everyone else has said.

Okay, nobody particularly stupid or annoying. But 5(!) straight people have just made popcorn in the microwave and it smells AWFUL in here.

Would it be OK if they were gay?

Yes, gay made popcorn smells SO much better.

omg someone fucking shoot me

i am not getting paid nearly enough to deal with my boss' bullshit!!!! i now have to fire someone like one day after they've started.

I'm getting tired of newspeak in my place. Things get used and become more and more popular, right now it is "moving forward" bleugh and "starter for ten" eugh.
Can we not just speak plainly, and jettison the catchphrases! Please folks?

wtf is "starter for ten"?

sounds like a 90's indie band.

sounds like restaurant talk

some shithead in here came up to me and asked if i could mail out a package for her, i told her it needed to go to the post office because it costs too much. she was all "really"? I put it on the scale and it blew the needle off the charts. "DO YOU SEE NOW SHIT HEAD!"

DO U SEE

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starter_for_Ten

well that's not very helpful

The phrase Starter for Ten is used when introducing a new strategy, a plan, the beginning of a project. For example "so, as a starter for ten, here are the new audit plans" It doesn't even make sense. It is annoying as fuck.

If it ever catches on here, I'm coming over and shooting everyone who had anything to do with starting it. It's bad enough that I work with a bunch of actual and wanna-be MBAs.

That is exceptionally annoying.

Sounds like the US equivalent would be some variation on "survey SAYS..." But I can't imagine anyone saying that in a semi-serious office setting.

It snowballs in our place, one douche uses it and then slowly it creeps round and becomes a common term. It sits next to "blue sky thinking" and more recently "thinking outside of the box"

Fuck the box, I'll get out of the box, crush the box, then put the box inside me, yeah, how'd you like that now you corporate fucks!

Errrr, rant over.

i like the box.
want to forever be inside it.

The box pays my bills, I have little choice.

Sounds like you all have a bad case of box. Maybe some oatmeal baths will help.

This package sat for a week b/c the shipping dept couldn't deduce the business name from the email.

--
From: Purchase Clerk
Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2011 10:38 AM
To: Shipping Dept.
Cc: Me
Subject: RETURN TO NEW EGG

xxxxx the two boxes you have back there that we talked about need to be sent back on our ups or fedx which ever is cheaper.

I just contacted NEWEGG.

Thanks for the help.
--

The first email of the day Mr. X's admin assistant saying she'll be out. The email is sent to all staff. The day's second all staff email is from our chief, titled "Additional people not in today" (bold mine) and listing a couple of people who had also called out. An hour later, Mr. X replies to the chief's email, stating "My admin will not be in today."

The first email of the day is Mr. X's

Silly rabbit -- executives don't have to read anyone else's emails.