Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

I enjoyed the lament that the mother should have to go through the shame of strangers seeing her daughter in that outfit on the internet, right beside the Mail's reproduction of said photo.

This is also typical mail fare though, yes? "Oh no, YOUR TEENAGE CHILDREN are indulging in kinky sex and wearing provocative outfits, isn't it disgusting? Here's a picture, btw."

Yes it is, but I still love it. My old landlady got the mail everyday and so I used to have regular access (to the newspaper). I couldn't understand how women could read a rag whose stock story was basically 'Women Are Scum'. Then I realised the story was actually 'Other Women Are Scum'.

'Women who are having more fun and decent sex than you are scum.'

decent sex, ha.

Someone make a facebook group to get Dom to join the daily mail staff

"Is fear of offending ethnnic minorities stopping police from ending the misery of teenage sex slaves?"

Check out the amazing Photoshop skillz in the first pic here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=547008&in_page_id=1770

And cower at the v fucking violent video game in the second picture.

Is Anne Diamond doing a gang sign in that picture?

wow that's got to be a joke article.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/03_04/beat1MOS2903_154x100.jpg
Bea the hippy princess raves at the full moon

"Last Saturday night, Beatrice's group headed to Koh Phagnan to enjoy one of the island's notorious "Full Moon" raves.

A tourist was stabbed to death at that party, although it is not known if Beatrice was aware of this."

o_0

Millions of girls using Facebook, Bebo and Myspace 'at risk' from paedophiles and bullies and we've got the photos!

Facebook makes it too fucking hard to perv on these girls. The one area it's worse than MySpace.

speaking from experience?

Of course.

I saw Princess Beatrice at Cross Central last year, on the roof of Canvas at about 7.30am as it was the only sound system still playing. She was clearly pilling her tits off, but I thought she was Peaches Geldof so thought nothing of it.

yeah warning to anyone opening that facebook story, pics of young girls in scantily clad clothing

i love that the facebook screenshot is like the most boring page in the world.

PEDOGEDDON

More filth elsewhere in today's edition: she turned pink and frowned, like a woman whose bottom had just been goosed by a passing cad (not worth opening, I just liked the saucy Edwardian turn of phrase). This thread is starting to make me love the Mail.

Mail 2.0 - http://beta.dailymail.co.uk/ - is only open from 9am to 7pm on weekdays.

Reminds me of how the Virgin Trains online shop used to close at night.

This article is the DM summed up in one article. The fetishising of the police officer, the dodgy stats, the ridiculous picture of what policing used to be like in the good old days. It needs a celebrity angle though.

All 43 forces in England and Wales have firearms support units, including the Metropolitan Police's crackcrap SO19 unit.

Fixed.

"a staggering 12 pieces of equipment"

roflroflrofl

Can we really transplant a human soul?

"BELT"

Brit School to thread.

"I think Gordon Brown should launch an investigation into just what is happening here. If the source of the soul can be found, and some souls are discovered to be superior to others, then this could be another source of revenue for the Government. After all, they (over) tax everything else!"

Has to be a wind-up.

In one celebrated case uncovered by Professor Schwartz's team, an 18-year-old boy who wrote poetry, played music and composed songs was killed in a car crash. A year after he died, his parents came across a tape of a song he had written, entitled, Danny, My Heart Is Yours.

In his haunting lyrics, the boy sang about how he felt destined to die and donate his heart. After his death, his heart was transplanted into an 18-year-old girl - named Danielle.

When the boy's parents met Danielle, they played some of his music and she, despite never having heard the song before, knew the words and was able to complete the lyrics.

fwd this to everyone you know!!!!

"I'm gonna die and give you my heart
I hope you will make a brand new..."

"omg i know this!"

The Daily Mail will believe anything. As will their readers. Remember this from last year?
Campaigning parents plan to burn children's books with grisly endings.

I can't keep[ away from that transplant story it's fantastic...

For a few brave scientists have started claiming...

So brave, so very brave...

Many scientists will, of course, point out that tens of thousands of organ transplants have now been carried out worldwide

more like hundreds of thousands

scientists haven't even managed to define what exactly consciousness is

useless lazy bums!

It has already been proved that hearts have their own residual brain, that is why people often take on the idiosyncrasies of the donor.

- Nigel, Somerset

The mail is going brain crazy to-day...
So is free will really just an illusion?

No, "so brave" is only used by the Daily Mail for people like So Brave Roy Castle and So Brave Gloria Estefan.

So Brave Karen Matthews

haha that free will story, i read a few lines and then scrolled down to the comments, only to be treated to a tidy picture of Charles Bronson.

I was given a young man's heart - and started craving beer and Kentucky Fried Chicken. My daughter said I even walked like a man

"Is the author here comparing an animal to a Swiss watch then? And so what if science can prove we have no 'free will'.."

If Dostoyevsky were alive today, he'd be called Sam, Brighton and read the Daily Mail.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1025763/Pictured-RAF-blow-worlds-biggest-drugs-haul-worth-225-MILLION-Afghanistan-desert.html

Officials believe the area was turning dried cannabis leaves into heroin.

Here for the original picture that went with that... and amusing discussion.

Britain on alert for deadly new knife with exploding tip that freezes victims' organs

How good of the Maily Dail to bring this to the attention of knife-wielders everywhere looking for a keen upgrade.

someone should have told block party to buy one of these, he might have survived john lydon's attack this weekend

Maybe Lydon used one on him; that would explain his inability to distinguish between John Lydon and three of his associates.

you would if your organs were frozen i guess