X Factor 2007, painful showoffs, blah blah blah

JLS in completely different league to Holy Sprog. Judges tactfully avoid telling them that either.

Talking of "in a different league", it's Alexandra...
So f-ing obvious that she's going to win.

"Literally"

Yeah, think they might possibly be suggesting they'd kind of like her to win just a tiny bit like.

I'm also calling foul here - she's had a longer VT, with "bigger" events in it, and a more elaborate stage set.

I didn't think the VT was that outlandish, tbh - the fecking stage set, though...

Then again, she can perhaps sing just a bit.

Unfortunately, being a good singer is not all about holding high notes and going "pee-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-a-c-e--e-e-e" instead of "peace". I can see all of the three finalists being where Leon is now.

Legendary showman Ronan Keating! And some other dudes!

And for the second time tonight, Eoghan is completely and utterly drowning.

Handily for him, he doesn't have to sing the second half of the song. Eoghan and Dermot are the sixth and seventh members of Boyzone. Seriously though, that was a bad idea, as it showed up the weaknesses in Eoghan's voice. The alternative would have been a duet with a solo artist, but that would probably have not been much better, and probably worse than Leon/Kylie last year.

Oh fuck. Flying Without Wings. I smell curtains.

OH FUCK.

STOP IT YOU TOSSERS.

Westlife sounding rough as shit. This could work in JLS's favour.

JESUS CHRIST MARK STOP FUCKING SHOUTING.

I've got this feeling - I've got this horrible feeling - they're trying to push Aston for a solo career.

Alexandra's performance gets to stand on its own after the break. (STOP CONSPIRACISING)

(xpost) I think that actually might be a good thing. Either a) the others have been stuck singing backing vocals because Louis is being stupid, or b) they've been singing backing vocals because only Aston can sing lead.

And meanwhile, fuck a NatWest MoneySense StudlyCaps AdvisorTron. They've never offered me advice - probably because I have no money. But how about "try not to spend more money that you earn"?

Leaning A. It's what he did with Boyzone, it's what he did with Westlife. One could argue he tried doing it with th'Alahd, too, but then things changed a bit...

And Alexandra gets Beyonce.

And Alexandra is crying.

big singing, no communication of anything

She's won, though.

oh and now it's the "let's laugh at deluded people" segment.
But remember finalists, your contract includes a clause that says you can't be mean about Simon Bowell.

Keep in mind, folks, that the only difference between those auditionees and you is that they thought they might have a chance. And possibly they didn't own a tape recorder and therefore had never heard their own singing voice.

There is no way these people weren't hired to provide comedy value.

Can I get in on this?

Simon is still reeling from the Beyonce duet. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

(xpost) sure, go ahead.

Why pick this Eoghan thing to go with. I'm all about Alexandra now btw, u win lex.

ST PATRICK'S COLLEGE oh thank God I'm only one-eighth Irish.

This is staggeringly shit.

Oh and Simon, you're SUPPOSED TO BE INTRODUCING YOUR BOY!
Eoghan drowning again. Although I have to admire his professionalism. He knows that he's come third. I'd have just left the studio by now.

This is such a poor commiseration speech.

soz Eoghan, u ain't gud enuf!

He should've just texted him.

Eoghan speech carefully designed to position himself to do "High School Stage Britannia Musical" kind of stuff.

WAKE UP LOUIS!

"Aston, that song shows off your vocal range" uh-oh...

haha sung your socks off!

They're not even pretending to not be pushing Aston anymore. And I think Aston might have just noticed.

I think the singer is really creepy looking.

Jeff Brazier being jostled by overenthusiastic JLS fans is nearly as funny as all the "we love you Eoghan" screamy Beatlemania girls.

oh the magic of TV - there must be two dozen people there and they make it look like thousands! Mostly by the expedient of JB jumping up and down going "woooaaahh!!!"

who is Jeff Brazier?

He used to go out with Jade Goody, didn't he? Or something.

I don't think he even knows himself...
meanwhile, that mid 70's Tina Turner hair is distracting

Bloke who made Jade Goody a mother.
xpost

poor guy.

apply for X Factor 2009 so that Cowell can own your arse worldwide and throughout the solar system!