X Factor 2007, painful showoffs, blah blah blah

Leaning A. It's what he did with Boyzone, it's what he did with Westlife. One could argue he tried doing it with th'Alahd, too, but then things changed a bit...

And Alexandra gets Beyonce.

And Alexandra is crying.

big singing, no communication of anything

She's won, though.

oh and now it's the "let's laugh at deluded people" segment.
But remember finalists, your contract includes a clause that says you can't be mean about Simon Bowell.

Keep in mind, folks, that the only difference between those auditionees and you is that they thought they might have a chance. And possibly they didn't own a tape recorder and therefore had never heard their own singing voice.

There is no way these people weren't hired to provide comedy value.

Can I get in on this?

Simon is still reeling from the Beyonce duet. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

(xpost) sure, go ahead.

Why pick this Eoghan thing to go with. I'm all about Alexandra now btw, u win lex.

ST PATRICK'S COLLEGE oh thank God I'm only one-eighth Irish.

This is staggeringly shit.

Oh and Simon, you're SUPPOSED TO BE INTRODUCING YOUR BOY!
Eoghan drowning again. Although I have to admire his professionalism. He knows that he's come third. I'd have just left the studio by now.

This is such a poor commiseration speech.

soz Eoghan, u ain't gud enuf!

He should've just texted him.

Eoghan speech carefully designed to position himself to do "High School Stage Britannia Musical" kind of stuff.

WAKE UP LOUIS!

"Aston, that song shows off your vocal range" uh-oh...

haha sung your socks off!

They're not even pretending to not be pushing Aston anymore. And I think Aston might have just noticed.

I think the singer is really creepy looking.

Jeff Brazier being jostled by overenthusiastic JLS fans is nearly as funny as all the "we love you Eoghan" screamy Beatlemania girls.

oh the magic of TV - there must be two dozen people there and they make it look like thousands! Mostly by the expedient of JB jumping up and down going "woooaaahh!!!"

who is Jeff Brazier?

He used to go out with Jade Goody, didn't he? Or something.

I don't think he even knows himself...
meanwhile, that mid 70's Tina Turner hair is distracting

Bloke who made Jade Goody a mother.
xpost

poor guy.

apply for X Factor 2009 so that Cowell can own your arse worldwide and throughout the solar system!

pretty great that it took about ten rejects before anyone noticed they were a bar ahead. And even then I think they just got lucky. Without that it would've just been tiresome, but that was incompetence at its finest.

Alexandra wins by five million votes, obv., although JLS seemed better to me tonight than they have before. Eoghan to wonder why he got fewer votes than there are people in his family, surely.

Ah, but you see, now that everyone in Northern Ireland hasn't got Christine Bleakley to vote for, they all get to vote for Eoghan instead.

damn, Saturday night TV is rubbish in the UK - best thing seems to be a newly colourised episode of Dad's Army

that is why i am watching breakdancing videos on youtube

It's lucky that Girls Aloud aren't contestants on X Factor, because they would have been voted off weeks ago.

ALAN HANSEN WANTS YOU TO EAT PRAWNS

You can tell it's near Christmas because there's a new Lee Evans DVD out.

...and a SASH! album that sounds the same as all his other albums

why does everything these days have to be advertised with SO! MUCH! HYPE!

Are you complaining that the Clubland advert was a bit loud?

http://www.adliterate.com/archives/VW_ThinkSmall.jpg

I'm complaining that everything these days is advertised as being like the second coming.

Does Beyonce have a portable wind machine that she takes around everywhere with her? I don't think I've ever seen her perform without looking like she's in a wind tunnel.

She's nothing without Dave Arch And His Fantastic Orchestra.

But she has proper rock chicks being all rockin' and that. They've got dreadlocks and everything, in case you didn't realise how rockin' these chicks are.

That is the cheapest Les Paul copy I've ever seen...

If Michael Underwood has any sense, he'll have got out of that hall before they announce Eoghan is third and a riot kicks off...

"could be the Christmas #1" - O'Leary you know nothing about the music industry and advance orders...

Now it's "let's see who ruins Hallelujah least".