Great Real Names

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I met a bunch of people from this cult. I worked in a restaurant next to their "offices".

They all have retarded names. Like "heart spider", "morning Cloud", "Puff the magic dragon".

W4LTER, Friday, 8 February 2008 06:02 (sixteen years ago) link

oh yeah, I also had a lawsuit once where all the plaintiffs were members of some weird christian sect and were named stuff like Wonderful Friendship Jackson and Loving Hope Freeman

Hurting 2, Friday, 8 February 2008 06:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Jason Math

Alex in Baltimore, Monday, 11 February 2008 17:13 (sixteen years ago) link

just read this on cnn about the chinese espionage bust:

Dongfan "Greg" Chung, 72, a Chinese native who is a naturalized U.S. citizen, had been an employee of Rockwell International for more than 30 years.

yeah, i suppose i'd go by "greg" too.

chicago kevin, Monday, 11 February 2008 20:22 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

There is a cricketer called Napoleon Einstein, he plays for the Chennai Super Kings!

jel --, Monday, 21 April 2008 17:03 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm no Tokyo Sexwhale, but my name is L3x (Al3xis) D1cks... sorry that I had to google-proof it. Googling my full name already yields some 2001 ILX posts, I don't need more!

Finefinemusic, Monday, 21 April 2008 17:21 (sixteen years ago) link

My sisters name is L3x (Al3x1s) J0hnson.

ian, Monday, 21 April 2008 17:45 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

I just called up my old boss as a referee for a new job, hadn't spoken to him in years, he's a total bro: D4ll4s |\|utt3r

wilter, Thursday, 26 June 2008 09:05 (sixteen years ago) link

I work with H@rry J0hn$0n

libcrypt, Thursday, 26 June 2008 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link

Saw a customer record last week. Obviously not the name he was born with: R4phael Pr1nce Pr1nce-R4phael.

jim, Thursday, 26 June 2008 17:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Rusty Kuntz

milo z, Thursday, 26 June 2008 18:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Various ex-clients and associates:

Mister M3l0n - I thought it was pronounced as in "Carnegie Mellon", his secretary told me that it wasn't. Very difficult to keep from laughing when I spoke to him on the phone.

D0ct0r Fuch5 - pronounced "fucks", German guy, genuinely didn't have any idea what his name meant in English, got very cross when I intentionally mispronounced it to avoid offending him... "Why is it that English people have such trouble pronouncing my name correctly? It is F-U-C-H-S FUCKS!!!"

A guy named after a particular copyrighted name for a plastic flying disc.

A woman whose surname meant "piglet" in French.

Also there was a girl who was named after a particular Latin American band.

snoball, Thursday, 26 June 2008 19:01 (sixteen years ago) link

nobody can top Artemis Pyle.
except maybe Cosmin Contra.

salsa shark, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Also there was a girl who was named after a particular Latin American band.

I bet that Herb-Alpert's-Tijuana-Brass Johnson didn't get out much!

JTS, Friday, 27 June 2008 03:46 (fifteen years ago) link

People actually frequently laugh when they hear my last name. It's happened twice in the last couple of days.

Maria, Friday, 27 June 2008 15:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Is it "Von Trapp"?

snoball, Friday, 27 June 2008 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

No. Maria's not my actual first name, either.

Maria, Friday, 27 June 2008 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

(which makes me feel kind of bad posting under it when there is a real Maria, but I have been for years and there's at least one person in ILX who posts under my real name, so why bother switching?)

Maria, Friday, 27 June 2008 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

Massimo Possible.

Italian for "maximum possibility". actual name of guy I met while travelling.

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:16 (fifteen years ago) link

are you sure? i mean, did you see id?

Maria, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:17 (fifteen years ago) link

Annabel Else

Tracer Hand, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:20 (fifteen years ago) link

are you sure? i mean, did you see id?

saw his passport

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:22 (fifteen years ago) link

we hung out together for about two weeks in Bangalore

Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:23 (fifteen years ago) link

A great AP byline I saw the other day: Nedra Pickler.

o. nate, Friday, 27 June 2008 16:25 (fifteen years ago) link

Bongo Christ (born 11 August 1976 in Zaire) is a football player from the DR Congo. He has played for SV Wilhelmshaven, Hannover 96, Gazélec Ajaccio, FC Aarau, FC Schaffhausen, FC Solothurn, FC Thun and FC 105 Libreville.

His name has featured in many lists of footballer's unusual names.

blueski, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 14:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Nedra is rather well known in the politicosphere, nate

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nedra_Pickler

gabbneb, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Violet Money

some dude, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 14:18 (fifteen years ago) link

Bran;gan P0wer$

Kid who went to my high school, always thought his name sounded like a space ranger's. Then Futurama was created...

RabiesAngentleman, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

Francis Hoose

some dude, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 19:34 (fifteen years ago) link

Wigberto Coronel

some dude, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 19:34 (fifteen years ago) link

Precious Boyd

some dude, Friday, 11 July 2008 17:53 (fifteen years ago) link

dunno if this is the right thread, but in the elevator just now, dude is sharing baby pictures with chick

she: what's his name?
he: boo radley

gabbneb, Friday, 11 July 2008 18:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Dr. Leslie Doctor

some dude, Friday, 11 July 2008 18:37 (fifteen years ago) link

My Song. first name My. last name Song.

some dude, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:06 (fifteen years ago) link

metropolitan police czar alfred 'alf' hitchcock

DG, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:08 (fifteen years ago) link

sorry 'knive czar' <----not his name though

DG, Monday, 14 July 2008 14:09 (fifteen years ago) link

Amory B. Lovins
http://img.timeinc.net/time/europe/magazine/2007/1029/lovins_1029.jpg

kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 17:33 (fifteen years ago) link

My gf's supervising a residential American summer school...one of the pupils (and I've seen the printed list) is called Maddy Bummfuck. Another has the surname Von Spanken.

Just got offed, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 18:04 (fifteen years ago) link

"tuomas alho"

and what, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 18:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Onnie Quattlebaum

some dude, Thursday, 17 July 2008 12:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Bamboo Dong

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

Karl Nesselrode
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Nesselrode

Chelvis, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 16:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii has changed her name.

But that still leaves Violence, Number 16 Bus Shelter, Midnight Chardonnay, and Benson and Hedges.

Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 24 July 2008 09:49 (fifteen years ago) link

And that's not Talula Does The Hula who is from Hawaii, but Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 24 July 2008 09:52 (fifteen years ago) link

PResumably "Number 16 Bus Shelter" was a satire based on 'place of conception' a'la Posh&Becks'

Mark G, Thursday, 24 July 2008 10:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Aurora Tenono

some dude, Tuesday, 29 July 2008 16:28 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Mattie Buckles

some dude, Thursday, 14 August 2008 17:26 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Dumb article, as I linked elsewhere, but:

Brown Bino, 25, a cab dispatcher, was walking through Astoria Park near his home on Monday with his 3-year-old son, a smiling boy introduced as Little Brown Bino.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 August 2008 18:10 (fifteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Hoseen Ali

did a double take when I saw that.

some dude, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 15:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Jesus Jimenez

some dude, Tuesday, 30 September 2008 17:53 (fifteen years ago) link


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