Best snippet of overheard conversation

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Maybe I'm being dumb, but how is that possible? I thouht cellies had these beep-toot ringtones?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 3 June 2005 06:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Not this one. Mine can play back recorded stuff too, but it sounds horrible. Her's sounded pretty good.

― Chris H. (chrisherbert), Friday, 3 June 2005 06:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Um, okay, so there's this indian guy in the suite next to ours. I walked out the front door just now, and he was standing in his door yelling at someone, 'you are being a kitten! Stand up for yourself and stop being a kitten! If you are going to continue to act this way, no one will respect you, you are a kitten! Aimee, don't you agree? What a kitten!'

the person he was talking to looked slightly dumbfounded "a kitten?" - as I did until I realized what he was trying to say.

"Raja, I think you mean 'pussy'."

"Yes, yes, a pussy, you are being a pussy!"

I walked away.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Wow, no mention yet of Overheard In New York.Com.

― billstevejim (billstevejim), Tuesday, 7 June 2005 21:49 (nineteen years ago) link

5 mins ago. 19ish year old scally male to older vest wearing benefit type, “ave just gonna lost 90 quid on a fuckin gamblin machine an a”

Idiot!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 12:18 (nineteen years ago) link

I didn't quite catch it.

― Cartain, Thursday, 9 June 2005 12:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Man: "god, I havent been here since the last time we were here!"

?? This makes perfect sense. It means "I know you haven't been here for a long time, and you might think that I would have been here since, but actually I haven't". Like if a friend from out of town turns up and says "let's go to that bar we went to last time", then when you get there you might say this.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 9 June 2005 12:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe I'm being dumb, but how is that possible? I thouht cellies had these beep-toot ringtones?

Tuomas, it's 2005 and you live in Finland for god's sake - mobile phones have been able to play mp3s for years!!

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 June 2005 12:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Setting: Men's room in my office building
Characters: Dude 1, a guy with a huge cast on his leg and crutches, using the urinal, and Dude 2, his buddy who is standing over by the door, presumably to help him out with the door

Dude 2: Hey, did you know milk cures PMS?
Dude 1: Yeah?
Dude 2: Yeah. (pause) I bought my wife a cow. (Chuckles to himself).

FIN

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Alpha-male bro in a suit in the hallway outside my office:

"This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I told you not to process that check until the 18th, and you did it anyway. I specifically said....."

(pause, pacing briefly)

"No, bullshit. Listen to what I'm saying, Mom."

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 16:36 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

At glasto, near the green fields, “we’ve just gone round in a big circle (sigh)”.
Made me laugh.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 30 June 2005 12:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Passing a couple on the street the other day, the man was talking animatedly to his female companion "...so NOW that I don't think that I WAS breastfed I..."

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 30 June 2005 13:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Two of your standard Boston college boys, Newbury Street, presumably not drunk:

"Man, you got me...the ovaries?"

― now now now, Thursday, 30 June 2005 14:03 (nineteen years ago) link

probably some indie band's CD.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 30 June 2005 14:06 (nineteen years ago) link

"I'm reading Slaughterhouse Vee"

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 30 June 2005 15:50 (nineteen years ago) link

My housemate over heard me slagging him off to my mate.

It went something like this, “ I couldn’t believe it he came in shouting, banging doors and then went into the bathroom and puked up loudly in the sink, dirty bastard. He didn’t even use the toilet. Then he starts talking to himself like a fucking mental case and groaning til about 4 this morning.” when I’d finished my rant, I walked past his door and noticed that he hadn’t left like I thought, he was in his room awake and well within hearing range. Doh!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Monday, 4 July 2005 09:03 (nineteen years ago) link

D: "Exactly! This summer is all about positive energy, like we were talking about!"

J: "Yeah! But we have to be careful that it doesn't become raver energy, or too-happy energy, or the gym energy..."

D: "Of course...."

J: "It has to be Andrew W.K. slash E.L.O. energy, we have to style it out, or else..."

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Monday, 4 July 2005 19:27 (nineteen years ago) link

not a conversation, but a t-shirt slogan on a big fat elderly woman:

"If you fuck it, they will come"

― Hand Shapes (nordicskilla), Monday, 4 July 2005 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

In the gym locker room this morning

Naked man #1 : So, how are you coming along with the smoking?
Naked man #2 : Well, I don't smoke.
Naked man #1 : Still keeping it up, then!
Naked man #2 : No, actually I've never smoked.
Naked man #1 : Good for you. GOOD FOR YOU.

― Felix Leiter (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 July 2005 17:01 (nineteen years ago) link

#2 thought #1 was hitting on him. I guarantee.

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 July 2005 17:22 (nineteen years ago) link

"smoking"

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 13 July 2005 17:23 (nineteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Standing in front of Monet's "La Debacle":

She: This is rather nice.
He: ...
You could do that, couldn't you Michael?
He: mmm

― rainy (rainy), Friday, 29 July 2005 00:25 (nineteen years ago) link

(La debacle is a river scene, not : she's suggesting he could be a 'contortionist')

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 29 July 2005 06:06 (nineteen years ago) link

one month passes...

"... Mary Carpenter, the country singer"
"I think you'll find it's Mary Chaffinch Carpenter."
"Really?"
"She got married you see."
"Oh..."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 14:51 (nineteen years ago) link

wandering around hay-on-wye the w/e of green man with a can of beer in my hand, one middle-aged bloke'sbloke says to the other middle-aged bloke'sbloke "oi... look at that... there's a woman drinking a pint. how often d'you see that, eh?"

― emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

NOTHING SEXIER!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago) link

"...a lot of country songs lately. In fact, I've got one of my own. It's called 'Duct Tape.'"

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

four months pass...

Great thread.

On train this morning:
Student A: yeah so I have to read something called Ulysses?
Student B: Ulysses?
Student A: yeah I don't even know what it is. I mean, is Ulysses some kind of monster? I think so... sounds like it, you know something like the Loch Ness Monster?

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 26 January 2006 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. A funny update/aside to my strange top hat and tails man from upthread: I saw him again, some months later. He was in one of the jewish bakery/cookie shops down the road, buying a big bag of pastries. He was still dressed exactly the same as when I last saw him.

I'm starting to wonder if he's all there.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 27 January 2006 03:05 (eighteen years ago) link

six months pass...

'i don't listen to anything other than top 40.'

'oh really? yeah, i listen to this one station, most people haven't heard of it. indie 103.1...know it?'

(funnier if you're from L.A.)

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

"Ever dip a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in yr chili?"

...and...

"I always put peanut butter and hot sauce on mine."

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

"So the last time time I got a DUI..."

― Jena (JenaP), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

"We'll be doing dildo puppet theater that night. . ."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link

and where is this dildo puppet theater?

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha I didn't ask.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

four months pass...

A : I am sick with shame.
B : You should be, I never even contemplate shitting in the workplace.
A : It's like the time I was busted scratching my ass down my pants!
B : You do some terrible shit at work
A : What happens if you are absolutely busting for one though?
B : You should be ashamed
A : yeah
B : You hold it at all costs even if it breaks your bowels
A : What are you, my mother!
B : Or you tell them you're sick and go home
A : "I am sick, I need to shit"

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 05:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Once my husband and I were out and we heard a guy who was obviously on a blind date going on about how he was out in the street alone with two neighborhood dogs on the loose. He finished with, "...and that's when they KILL!"

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 05:48 (seventeen years ago) link

venue: morrisons, holloway

cast: elderly man, wheelchair. security guard, bored

man wheels up to guard, looks up at him and says in gnarled voice "are you very lonely?", to which security guard replies "yes"

man then rides off in his extremely slow wheelchair cackling away to himself

― 688, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Teenage GUY on the street with Andre 3000 pressed hair and tan leather jacket is showing cellphone pictures to chubby blonde GIRL, who is squealing with delight.

GUY: He hung out with us for a couple hours! You know him, he does Robot Chicken, and he's the voice of, um ...
GIRL: Chris from Family Guy!
GUY: Yeah, he was doing the voice and everyone was cracking up.

(My new life goal is to meet Seth Green and get him to do an "Oz from Buffy turns into WERE-CHRISGRIFFIN" scene.)

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 04:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Also, from the other week, there was "I think he just broke up with me so he wouldn't have to do laundry any more."

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 04:51 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Okay, I feel like I've seen a comedy sketch or film joke based on the exact situation I just experienced -- a guy in my apartment's elevator having a cellphone conversation that went like this:

- "Well I can ask him about the medical stuff, right?"
- "Well if it's an STD, there's a question of who gave it to who."
- "Yeah, right now all signs are pointing to an STD."
- (to me, exiting) "Have a good night!"

― nabisco, Friday, 27 April 2007 23:58 (seventeen years ago) link

P.S. guy in my apartment: if you read ILX or something, please note that I think you're cool and appreciate the door-holding and think your beard is working out really well!

― nabisco, Friday, 27 April 2007 23:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Coming from another table (a four-top) at a middle-to-high-end restaurant:

A (very drunk woman): It's not like he killed himself because of me!
B (other people at the table): Oh, no! Of course not! Don't ever let yourself think that! etc.

A leaves table, staggering toward restroom.
B (one of those left behind at the table): Hell, who wouldn't kill themselves having to live with that?!

― MsLaura, Sunday, 29 April 2007 06:48 (seventeen years ago) link

It's 2nd hand, but still, it's great-- tonight at my restaurant a woman in her 30s and her mother came in and got shitty. The daughter pointed to the woman who had already been identified as her mother, and told the server, "I'm so drunk that I'd make out with her" and the mother and daughter both laughed.

― Jesse, Sunday, 29 April 2007 08:08 (seventeen years ago) link

OK wtf!

― Trayce, Sunday, 29 April 2007 08:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Two guys walking through the lobby at work:

A: So you did cheat on her!
B: No no, man, it was after we broke up.
A: ...But still dude, with her SISTER??

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Kid, about 5 or 6 in a video, well DVD I suppose, rental place examining different DVD boxes:

Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Not sod it.
Sod it.

― jim, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:31 (seventeen years ago) link

College Guy 1: Yeah, there's already been some Borat quotes, so it's a pretty good group.

College Guy 2: Oh yeah. Cool.

― peter james, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

i cant remember because i was trying to stay awake, but on the 254 on sunday afternoon somewhere there was a guy in his 60s with his 6 or 7 year old granddaughter

"booze or drugs, thats what most of them do, booze or drugs"

then some other stuff then, "yea those ones, you sell weed to those ones, they're good customers"

― 600, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

two 9 year old girls at 8th avenue and 31st street:

9 yo Girl #1: Do you think Mr.Taylor is gay?
9 yo Girl #2: (thinks a minute) I don't know...it's really hard to tell these days.

― King Kitty, Monday, 30 April 2007 15:33 (seventeen years ago) link

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