Spider-Man 3 anticipation begins...now

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the hulk infuriates me everytime i remember those retarded hulk-poodles

― latebloomer, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link

is that a reference to fans, or the advertising people for the movie?

― darraghmac, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:10 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahaha

no, the dogs that nick nolte gives the hulk-serum or whatnot to and they mutate into these awful-looking cgi critters that hulk has a brief battle with or something. i just remember it looking so ridiculous, even for a hulk movie.

― latebloomer, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:14 (seventeen years ago) link

and then there's that stupid extra hulk versus dad fight (OEDIPUS SMASH) that seems like it was added just because the ILM dudes were bored and had some extra money or something.

― latebloomer, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:16 (seventeen years ago) link

OEDIPUS SMASH

nice.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:19 (seventeen years ago) link

better than a Bret Ratner movie? not much of a hurdle there

― gershy, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:24 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha before this there was a trailer for Rush Hour 3 and Roman Polanski was in it!

― latebloomer, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link

i called every theater, 50 miles from my house. and they're all sold out of tickets. even imax!! WTF?

― funny farm, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:27 (seventeen years ago) link

$400 million opening day i hear

― latebloomer, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:28 (seventeen years ago) link

spider-man 2's brilliance comes from the fact that it is one of the best examples of filmmaking in recent years. Wonderfully put together.

so many things wrong with this sentence

― s1ocki, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:47 (seventeen years ago) link

a touch overstated, perhaps.

― kenan, Saturday, 5 May 2007 20:55 (seventeen years ago) link

cinema, Cinema, CINEMAAAAAA!!!

― kenan, Saturday, 5 May 2007 21:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought the newest Spidermovie was about as good as the first, but not as good as the second. The biggest misstep is trying to cram three villains into it (by far the most successful of these three plots is the one with Goblin Jr.) Pick one, fellas. Or even two, if you absolutely have to, but all three of them got shortchanged becausee you just couldn't stop adding plots. The other really, REALLY weak segment is a longish part in the middle where we're supposed to see the insidious effect of the Venom symbiote on Parker's personality. Unfortunately, this takes the form of him listening to James Brown and disco-dancing in the street right after he buys an all-black outfit, then showing off at the jazz club Mary Jane has been working at after she dumps him. It's corny and dull and comes out of nowhere, and doesn't even make sense with the other machinations happening at that point in the movie. The Sandman plot is even more feeble (although less misbegotten) and hardly wraps up at all.

Thank goodness for some really well-done farcical shennanigans in a French restaurant and some really amazing action scenes, the best of which all involve James Franco using the Goblin gear like an extreme skateboarder, a major improvement from the way Willem Dafoe's version of the character was shown in action.

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 6 May 2007 00:05 (seventeen years ago) link

How does Evil Spidey compare with Evil Supes in Superman III. You've no idea how badly I was traumatized by watching Christopher Reeve flick peanuts at wine bottles.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Sunday, 6 May 2007 00:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Would fighting traffic signals made Spider-man 3 better? I have to wonder, now, as that is the only thing I think of when anybody mentions Superman III.

― Gukbe, Sunday, 6 May 2007 00:20 (seventeen years ago) link

Just d/led this & new Dr. Who ep. Cannot wait to watch even tho Spiderman 2 was so boring I couldn't finish it. I adored the first one, tho, what a fucking great movie.

― Abbott, Sunday, 6 May 2007 00:40 (seventeen years ago) link

The other really, REALLY weak segment is a longish part in the middle where we're supposed to see the insidious effect of the Venom symbiote on Parker's personality. Unfortunately, this takes the form of him listening to James Brown and disco-dancing in the street right after he buys an all-black outfit, then showing off at the jazz club Mary Jane has been working at after she dumps him.

This (especially the dancing-in-the-street part) was awesome.

― David R., Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Otherwise, Oily OTM.

― David R., Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:05 (seventeen years ago) link

See, while I admit that stuff was (somewhat) funny, as a window into the crueller, more self-serving side of Parker's soul it just failed utterly. The thoughtless domineering of the landlord's daughter was so much more interesting and believable. Sure, lots of assholes might take their new, hot date to a place where the girl who dumped them was working in food service just to rub her nose in it. That would be fine. But the musical/acrobatic number on top of it? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeak.

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha I thought the dance sequences were great! The Flint Marko/Sandman/He really killed your dad nonsense OTOH was just nonsense.

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought Topher Grace was s'okay and James Franco was funny (although they disfigured his pretty face!

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link

And Bruce Campbell had the best cameo.

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:32 (seventeen years ago) link

nothing is as freaky as bad superman in 3.

― s1ocki, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:58 (seventeen years ago) link

i just really appreciated the fact that sam raimi decided to make the venom story just a really weird, convoluted cocaine metaphor.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Again with the cocaine.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:03 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, it was hilarious to catch spiderman yesterday after the day of blow on ilx, i gotta say.

i also loved their decision mid-way through the film to replace tobey maguire with the guy from the killers. ripping off the opening sequence to saturday night fever was odd yet inspired. srsly i am with every single person who is saying that the best part of the movie was the completely bizarre "peter parker, dancing dickweed of the lower east side" sequence in the middle of the film. also: WTF WITH THE EGG COOKING SCENE?? "do you like peppers?"

if i ever have to hear kirsten dunst sing again, though, i'm going to deafen myself with chopsticks.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:11 (seventeen years ago) link

How many millions were spent on Topher Grace's hair?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:12 (seventeen years ago) link

I MEAN, THEY GONGED THE VILLAIN?? THIS MOVIE WAS ON SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:12 (seventeen years ago) link

in retrospect actually my favorite line might've just been topher grace shouting "what the hell" after coked-out black-suited my particle physics romance spiderman broke his camera.

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I think Cheech & Chong's Next Movie probably makes more sense than this did. I haven't seen it in a while.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:13 (seventeen years ago) link

oh my god otm on the "what the hell!" thing but i'm pretty sure i'm sticking with "do you like...peppers?" as my favorite line.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

also: particle physicists are basically two white dudes and 40 models, i have to get into that field.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

"HELLO I AM THE GOBLIN. MY DIABOLICAL VILLAIN PLAN IS TO...TELL PETER PARKER I BANGED HIS GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HIM CRY. LOL I'M AN ASSHOLE!"

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Raimi was all like "Shit man, I killed off my Tim Curry in the first one, my Meatloaf in the second one, now I've got to make my action/adventure Rocky Horror homage with just these goofy kids and they won't let me even put any sex in it!!"

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't even know what the hell you are talking about with this rocky horror picture show metaphor. are YOU sam raimi?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"HELLO I AM THE GOBLIN. MY DIABOLICAL VILLAIN PLAN IS TO...TELL PETER PARKER I BANGED HIS GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HIM CRY. LOL I'M AN ASSHOLE!"

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, May 8, 2007 9:16 AM (53 seconds ago)

ally totally needs to start a film review site

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

cue willem dafoe...HEY, HARRY. MAKE HER...AN OMLETTE. PLAY SOME CHUBBY CHECKER. THAT WILL TEACH SPIDERMAN! HAHAHAHAHA!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i think that i loved this movie but it confused me so much that i felt like i was completely drunk when i left the theatre so it might just be spiderman hangover.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe SM3 was a test run for SPIDER-MAN: THE MUSICAL!

(I only wish that actually happened. The Green Goblin, Dance Instructor scene.)

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.xippas.com/i/artistes/gallery/chuck_close/cc06_4a.jpg
HARRY! HARRY! DESTROY PARKER!! HAVE A CHARMING BIG CHILL HOMAGE WITH HIS LADYFRIEND!! AVENGE MEEEEE!!

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

i would watch that 100x but only if they overdub kirsten dunst. i mean christ i know the point was that mary jane is completely talentless but did they have to prove this over and over??

speaking of, i said last night that a big problem with the spiderman series is that mary jane and now gwen stacy are intolerably unhot, vapid bitches. which is pretty much par for the course with female roles in action films BUT why did they have to make bit part females 10000000000000000000000000000x hotter than their main females? fake parker posey in the newspaper office and russian girl are both so much cuter?? i have no sympathy for peter parker's predicament, he should just date one of the more awesome girls.

xpost AAAAAARRRRGH!!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

harry should stop drinking makers because that's the only time his dad ever shows up screaming in the mirror, is the thing. get yourself some "venom suit," kid.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

It was just something I thought of this morning as a better explanation for this movie's most batshit qualities might be instead of Raimi deciding at the 11th hour to just get baked and watch "Will It Blend?" on YouTube, he actually sat down and watched RHPS and realized yes, you can pack this much ridiculous shit into one movie, but the way to do it is with dancing and music.

The way 100 minutes of the entire film is all expository setup to justify the final convoluted 4-way reminded me of how I think Joe Dirt exists just because somebody had a dream where Chris Walken, an American Indian, a hot blonde, and David Spade wearing a blue dread wig are all in some kind of muscle car drag racing Kid Rock, and they felt the need to write a whole screenplay to explain how that would actually happen.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

"I had a dream where blah blah blah and then they were drag racing Kid Rock"

"first of all, that would never happen"

"OH YEAH WELL"

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

If that dream also involved Dennis Miller, then fuck that shit.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

people don't dream about dennis miller, they dream about rob lowe playing dennis miller

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

WAIT THAT'S BRILLIANT

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:46 (seventeen years ago) link

& yes, OTM re: Landlord's Daughter & JJJ's Secretary (ELIZABETH BANKS) being much hotter / nicer / more well-rounded. I liked KD's singing voice, tho. :\

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Also: I will totally finance BEING DENNIS MILLER if you guys can get me a script.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:57 (seventeen years ago) link

And you can make the film for about $1000.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

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