Buying A House: C or D?

gotta get rid of some of my records before we move. take them to the store. oy...

Fucking hell. The house we've had our eye on for the last five months closed today, and for a price about $40,000 lower than what we were all set to offer just before our potential buyer pulled out.

I cannot stress enough how goddamn fucking painful it is to try to sell a house. Not a week goes by where I don't either feel like screaming or crying. I'm ready to just give up and accept that fact that we will never ever be able to move out of our house.

I mean, seriously, unless you are planning to never, ever for any reason have to sell your house, do yourself and don't buy one in the first place. Trying to sell a house is a special kind of hell that will literally destroy your house and make you miserable for a large portion of your waking hours.

"literally destroy your life" I meant

See? I'm so angry I can't even type properly.

it seems more poetic and mysterious the first way

sounds more like vinnie jones tbh

sorry for your stresses tho jon

Just, ugh, so fucking hard. I've never been so stressed out about something in my life.

this might have popped up on the graphspergers thread

http://insights.truliablog.com/vis/rent-vs-buy-q3/

you know jon, you might not want to hear this, but it sounds like you should find a middle ground between as of right now, are asking 73% of what we originally paid for it and accept that fact that we will never ever be able to move out of our house? can you stick it out for ten years?

The short answer is no, we really can't. Honestly we're not too concerned about the losing money on the house part, thats just how the market is right now. We're hoping to make up for it on the other end by getting more than we'd have been able to afford at 2006-7 prices. The bigger issue is that, while it was a great starter house, its revealing itself to be way too small for children. Our first is on the way in less than a month and we've made sacrifices to make it work for him (moved out all of my music collection, got rid of my wife's work from home office, etc) and it's fine. But we're hoping to have another at some point and there's just not room for it. We've looked into adding on, but its just not feasible given our lot restrictions.

Really what makes it so hard is that we've been busting our asses to save and get ourselves in a position where we can afford the new house financially. And we're set there, we've got a down payment covered, we've got closing covered, we've been pre-approved for much higher than we'd ever want to spend, etc etc. We just need a goddamn buyer now.

have you thought about contacting one of those "we buy any house" brokers, if you are that desperate?

why **right now**? during the worst market since ... ?

to me - a complete stranger who is probably being way too free with his opinion - it sounds a bit like "i bought some stock, it lost roughly 50% of its value in the worst recession since the 70s, the entire economy is in a tailspin at least through next summer, but i need to sell NOW"

the whole "houses are solid investments" line of thinking was not built around the thinking that you could flip houses like used cars every couple of years ... you're buying dear and selling super-cheap and as an unbiased observer i don't exactly see what the rush is.

i mean i know there are crackhouses on your block. i don't have that problem but there are definitely crackhouses in a five-block radius of here (as well as historic million dollar bungalows) and we have 11 pm - 1 am police chopper w/ spotlight over the house at least once a week. haven't ever heard gunshots, thank god, but i find the occasional beer bottle on the lawn. my neighbors have a three year-old, they seem to be coping okay.

when he had me my dad gave up ham radio *and* model airplanes!

I totally get what you are saying, our timing could not be worse really, its just frustrating because my wife is really wanting to "nest" with the baby coming and she is anxious about space concerns.

How much space does a baby take up?

Anyway, I was trying to vent yesterday. Its not the end of the world, we can make do with what we've got now and it'll work out eventually. Just stressful.

The baby, not much at all. All this shit you need for one, lots.

you are making sacrifices for the future, god bless

at various points in history people the managed to raise children in not enormous houses

jon are you feeling what your wife is feeling, again/still? Like, your frantic need to sell NOW is still being driven by your desire to provide for her? I am way, WAY sympathetic to the nesting urge and I do try to listen to those things in my life, at least, but maybe you guys could focus on making certain rooms or corners of rooms nicer, that you already have? Like a nursing corner with a screen and a low table for her tea and book and a window to look out of, or something, whatever would be meaningful and comforting to her?

caves are kinda roomy

the = have xp to moimeme

Oh yeah, thats a big part of my feelings right now, that I'm not properly "providing" for them. Which is total bullshit, esp because my wife makes more than I do, but the ingrained part of my brain tells me I need to provide better. Anyway, we are making do and settling in the best we can. We're both thrilled with how the nursery turned out and really excited. I mean, its fine, we'll survive.

And, no, we aren't looking for an "enormous" house, fyi. Our house right now is 890 sf, so its not exactly trying to buy a mcmansion to want something with a tiny bit more flexibility.

890 sf is rough

There's so much STUFF sold to us for babies and I haven't had a babby of my own but I have a feeling about 2/3rds of it is bunk and mostly a bulwark against feeling unprepared (which you're going to feel like anyway because you ARE, pretty sure it's impossible to be prepared for babby, in truth). The kid's gonna sleep with you or in your room for a while, and then no one is going to be sleeping at all for a while, and then when they start sleeping again, you won't care which room it's in compared to the minor miracle of sleep happening, and then you're at like 1 year-ish, and that's 13 months from now.

but still, 890 sf is 2 10x10 bedrooms, kitchen, living and bath? should be do-able?

the dude who built the 2-br 1100 sf house i am in right now raised three kids in it until the oldest was about to go to middle school. at that point he could afford to move out somewhere a bit less urban. bunk beds!

Yeah, its totally doable. I was just trying to vent yesterday about how stressful selling a house is, particularly when you are in full-on "nesting" mode (part of why I wanted to wait another year before putting it on the market, but I was outvoted there). Anyway, its fine, we'll be fine. I kind of feel like you guys might be reading more into this than I intended.

Well yeah, you say you own a house and you have a separate nursery, and I as an NYC resident am like SCHA, WHATEVER, DUDE. YOU HAVE A NURSERY because I don't even have a coat closet.

Well, you were talking about screaming and crying and having your life destroyed and never EVER being able to move out of your current house. It seemed kinda dramatic?

Fair enough.

good luck jon, hope things turn out <3

I was venting yesterday, problem with not having any irl friends to do so with.

consider us yr irl friends

feel free to vent

I'll buy yr baby

Not for sale sry

barter?

I got some very nice slightly used Nikes, size 10.5

vintage?

sadly no, they're one of the running shoes from last year

market for houses may be shot but babies are garnering good prices these days. sayin

anyway, wd like to buy a house but they're pretty spendy : /

and anyway property is slavery

otm, especially when I have to mow it and weed the garden

for a second I thought you were still talking about the baby

Our baby has never been in her 'nursery'. She's 14 months now and has slept appx. 10hrs in her giant, expensive crib. I missed how old your baby was or if it was on the way, but you won't really need much room for the baby until the baby is walking and even then they are happy to walk around the coffee table. Don't force a move. Loving your wife and baby is providing enough for them. The stress you're adding to the situation is going to make everything less enjoyable. Give it time and the right situation will happen.

jon - feel like there's no way you haven't already considered this, but is renting the place you want to get out of an option?

rent for a year or two and then try to sell again. something like that.

Definitely considered that, but with what comparable houses are getting in our area for rent, it wouldn't be enough to cover the costs. We may be able to reasses that in six months or so though. But, tbh, the thought of being a landlord scares me.

ah, that's a bummer.