I'm drunk!

also he went to harvard according to google

gross

kevin what book are you reading?

the bartender's black book updated 9th edition

he guy interviewing me would respond "understood" after everything I said

looooooool what an asshole!

"When I'm working on a project, I don't want just to meet deadlines. Rather, I prefer to complete the project well ahead of schedule.
I have exceeded my sales goals every quarter and I've earned a bonus each year since I started with my current employer.
My time management skills are excellent and I'm organized, efficient, and take pride in excelling at my work.
I pride myself on my customer service skills and my ability to resolve what could be difficult situations."

"understood."

xp lamp lol salinger

i'm young i know!

one job interview strategy that's i wouldn't recommend is to crack up laughing in the middle of your answer.

"my time management skills are excellent and i'm organized, efficent, and-ahahahahahahaha! aaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaa!"

adding zs and lamp to the 'wkiw" young gun ilx crew

a risky interview strategy is to lean in closely to the interviewer and say "we both know this is a fucking joke, am i right? this whole thing is just absurd."

yeah that does seem risky I have been essentially doing it at every job interview and have a 0% success rate

at the beginning of every job interview im just like 'get on my dick' and then grab my crotch

raise high the jim beam ilxors

u fuckin guys

what's up killers

lamp! not bad for a drunk i gotta say

lamp is my fukkin man

Hell I even remember the time when Lamp did the whatsit now and
*falls over*

is z s drunk again?

teleport to the cruise room

we are all drunk in this thread

if you're not gtfo imo

i'll be there in my pajamas drinking a blood and sand

im on strong antibiotics and cannot drink. pour one out for me.

this thread needs one of those breathalizers that you attach to your car

can i pour it into my mouth instead of on the ground? because booze is fucking expensive in this bastard communist state.

man i knew kevin was drunk

last night i was drunk & texting hoos a bunch of shitty hoos & steen puns, i'm sure it was kind of annoying -- my apologies big homie

for some reason, the bar i was at was had cycling on the TV or something, so i found out that this guy exists http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9_Steensen

last night i consumed the following:

- a pint of sam adams
- three coronas
- two mixed vodka shots
- three cigarettes

and i woke up really feeling like shit, it was kind of depressing -- i've always been a lightweight anyway but i really didn't think i was gonna wake up today like "argggh fuck alcohol" -- thankfully i don't have a job so it was kinda all good anyway

it was probably the cigarettes dude, if yr not a regular smoker.

though anything involving "shots" is generally not a good idea if you want to maintain belief in a loving god the next day.

yeah i'm not a regular smoker

, i'm sure it was kind of annoying -- my apologies big homie

<333333333333333

omg shots

also jordan you are a zygote in the paying-for-drinking-the-next-day sense. go, be fruitful, and drink yourself into a stupor. because one day your body will truly revolt against you.

tbf i was hanging out w/ one chick, which is where the shots came into play

the worst thing about dating some1 that works in a bar is that they and all their friends only ever drink shots all the time cuz they have the tolerance of russian mobsters

LAMP OTM

i used to not be able to take shots at all (except gin) i think bcuz of not knowing "how" to drink in high school, but lately i've been finding myself being able to take shots of jameson & shit

learn from me, my children. learn from my mistakes.

not that i would ever choose to do shots of jameson really, but you know how Men are

I'm all for this shot-backlash, I avoid them when possible

when i was dating a bartender in '06/'07 i felt like i was courting death on reg

"well honey i was pretty much just planning on staying in and reading tonight since you're working"
"come down! you know you'll drink for free"
"FUCK"

haha 'its slow at work, come hang out' is both the worst and the best depending on yr mood

tbh i hate shots but they are effective in fukkn u up if thats your goal but im more of a sipper tbh working on a tim collins twist i invented myself atm

i've never been drunk. i wake up sick after drinking slurpees and arizona drinks so thank god i don't drink because i don't even fuckin want to know what it'd feel like to wake up the next day with a hangover

you should probably stop drinking so much sugar

yeah we'll see

drink some OJ

drink some gd water

or gin, which is also clear

which reminds me