Best snippet of overheard conversation

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wandering around hay-on-wye the w/e of green man with a can of beer in my hand, one middle-aged bloke'sbloke says to the other middle-aged bloke'sbloke "oi... look at that... there's a woman drinking a pint. how often d'you see that, eh?"

― emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago) link

NOTHING SEXIER!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago) link

"...a lot of country songs lately. In fact, I've got one of my own. It's called 'Duct Tape.'"

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 16:24 (nineteen years ago) link

four months pass...

Great thread.

On train this morning:
Student A: yeah so I have to read something called Ulysses?
Student B: Ulysses?
Student A: yeah I don't even know what it is. I mean, is Ulysses some kind of monster? I think so... sounds like it, you know something like the Loch Ness Monster?

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 26 January 2006 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. A funny update/aside to my strange top hat and tails man from upthread: I saw him again, some months later. He was in one of the jewish bakery/cookie shops down the road, buying a big bag of pastries. He was still dressed exactly the same as when I last saw him.

I'm starting to wonder if he's all there.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 27 January 2006 03:05 (eighteen years ago) link

six months pass...

'i don't listen to anything other than top 40.'

'oh really? yeah, i listen to this one station, most people haven't heard of it. indie 103.1...know it?'

(funnier if you're from L.A.)

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

"Ever dip a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in yr chili?"

...and...

"I always put peanut butter and hot sauce on mine."

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

"So the last time time I got a DUI..."

― Jena (JenaP), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

"We'll be doing dildo puppet theater that night. . ."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link

and where is this dildo puppet theater?

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha I didn't ask.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

four months pass...

A : I am sick with shame.
B : You should be, I never even contemplate shitting in the workplace.
A : It's like the time I was busted scratching my ass down my pants!
B : You do some terrible shit at work
A : What happens if you are absolutely busting for one though?
B : You should be ashamed
A : yeah
B : You hold it at all costs even if it breaks your bowels
A : What are you, my mother!
B : Or you tell them you're sick and go home
A : "I am sick, I need to shit"

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 05:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Once my husband and I were out and we heard a guy who was obviously on a blind date going on about how he was out in the street alone with two neighborhood dogs on the loose. He finished with, "...and that's when they KILL!"

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 05:48 (seventeen years ago) link

venue: morrisons, holloway

cast: elderly man, wheelchair. security guard, bored

man wheels up to guard, looks up at him and says in gnarled voice "are you very lonely?", to which security guard replies "yes"

man then rides off in his extremely slow wheelchair cackling away to himself

― 688, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Teenage GUY on the street with Andre 3000 pressed hair and tan leather jacket is showing cellphone pictures to chubby blonde GIRL, who is squealing with delight.

GUY: He hung out with us for a couple hours! You know him, he does Robot Chicken, and he's the voice of, um ...
GIRL: Chris from Family Guy!
GUY: Yeah, he was doing the voice and everyone was cracking up.

(My new life goal is to meet Seth Green and get him to do an "Oz from Buffy turns into WERE-CHRISGRIFFIN" scene.)

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 04:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Also, from the other week, there was "I think he just broke up with me so he wouldn't have to do laundry any more."

― nabisco, Thursday, 1 March 2007 04:51 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Okay, I feel like I've seen a comedy sketch or film joke based on the exact situation I just experienced -- a guy in my apartment's elevator having a cellphone conversation that went like this:

- "Well I can ask him about the medical stuff, right?"
- "Well if it's an STD, there's a question of who gave it to who."
- "Yeah, right now all signs are pointing to an STD."
- (to me, exiting) "Have a good night!"

― nabisco, Friday, 27 April 2007 23:58 (seventeen years ago) link

P.S. guy in my apartment: if you read ILX or something, please note that I think you're cool and appreciate the door-holding and think your beard is working out really well!

― nabisco, Friday, 27 April 2007 23:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Coming from another table (a four-top) at a middle-to-high-end restaurant:

A (very drunk woman): It's not like he killed himself because of me!
B (other people at the table): Oh, no! Of course not! Don't ever let yourself think that! etc.

A leaves table, staggering toward restroom.
B (one of those left behind at the table): Hell, who wouldn't kill themselves having to live with that?!

― MsLaura, Sunday, 29 April 2007 06:48 (seventeen years ago) link

It's 2nd hand, but still, it's great-- tonight at my restaurant a woman in her 30s and her mother came in and got shitty. The daughter pointed to the woman who had already been identified as her mother, and told the server, "I'm so drunk that I'd make out with her" and the mother and daughter both laughed.

― Jesse, Sunday, 29 April 2007 08:08 (seventeen years ago) link

OK wtf!

― Trayce, Sunday, 29 April 2007 08:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Two guys walking through the lobby at work:

A: So you did cheat on her!
B: No no, man, it was after we broke up.
A: ...But still dude, with her SISTER??

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Kid, about 5 or 6 in a video, well DVD I suppose, rental place examining different DVD boxes:

Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Sod it.
Not sod it.
Sod it.

― jim, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:31 (seventeen years ago) link

College Guy 1: Yeah, there's already been some Borat quotes, so it's a pretty good group.

College Guy 2: Oh yeah. Cool.

― peter james, Sunday, 29 April 2007 21:41 (seventeen years ago) link

i cant remember because i was trying to stay awake, but on the 254 on sunday afternoon somewhere there was a guy in his 60s with his 6 or 7 year old granddaughter

"booze or drugs, thats what most of them do, booze or drugs"

then some other stuff then, "yea those ones, you sell weed to those ones, they're good customers"

― 600, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

two 9 year old girls at 8th avenue and 31st street:

9 yo Girl #1: Do you think Mr.Taylor is gay?
9 yo Girl #2: (thinks a minute) I don't know...it's really hard to tell these days.

― King Kitty, Monday, 30 April 2007 15:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Kids say the homophobiest things!

― n/a, Monday, 30 April 2007 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

At a receiving desk for a court records office today:

Courier: I've got a file for Judge Costello
Woman at counter: Judge Costello is on vacation in France. So unless you want to bring the file to Paris
Courier: Oh ok, I could do that. Where's Judge Perry's office?

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 01:48 (seventeen years ago) link

"I said BOOKA SHADE not NICK LACHEY!"

...in a cafe.

― Roz, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:25 (seventeen years ago) link

On a tram, some weeks back:

Texan woman to poshy local: "Oh well yes, everyone has guns in the US. Its expected. You have to protect yourself. It is terrible blah blah blah but it is in our constitution!".

To the sounds of poshy local lady clucking in disapproving horror.

― Trayce, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 09:54 (seventeen years ago) link

In the Jeremy Bentham pub the other day, a deliciously tweedy old lady academic, discussing tv ads:

"Oh, I saw an advertisement the other day! It featured a machine that could transform itself into anything at all! But all it did was turn itself into a boring old [i]car![/i}."

― Stevie T, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 09:58 (seventeen years ago) link

"Oh, I saw an advertisement the other day! It featured a machine that could transform itself into anything at all! But all it did was turn itself into a boring old [i]car![/i}."

This... I just wish I could have heard this!

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 2 May 2007 10:01 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

"Hey, I'm the one who's in love - I get to pee first!"

― marianna lcl, Friday, 3 August 2007 05:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Boy 1: What's your favorite flavor?
Boy 2: Your mom.

― Christyles, Friday, 3 August 2007 06:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"I brought my newspaper into work so people could smell it."

― molly mummenschanz, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Heard at 2:00am on the Vegas Strip,woman, to her significant other:

"Pamela Anderson! Hey, babe! Look!"

― B.L.A.M., Wednesday, 15 August 2007 16:51 (seventeen years ago) link

(guy at vending machine) "Hmm...What should I get, Meredith? M&M's? Naw...I can't have chocolate. Oooh! Skittles! That way I can taste the rainbow, not that I haven't already. *laughs*"

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 17:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Something tells me I've heard that one before

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 17:04 (seventeen years ago) link

(don't tell me what he stole it from)

― Tape Store, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 17:46 (seventeen years ago) link

I actually don't know - I really just feel like I've heard it somewhere.

― Hurting 2, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 18:02 (seventeen years ago) link

"oh yeah- that's leonardo da vinci. he's kinda famous..... He's from that movie, the davinci code"

Outside the Uffizi museum in Florence.

"daddy, did jesus ever come to the states?

uh, no honey.

Why, was he afraid of planes?"

In the Sistine chapel.

― darraghmac, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 18:22 (seventeen years ago) link

The other night, walking out of a bar:

Girl on phone: "-- FUCKING with your HAND?"
(mild chuckling from everyone around)
Girl on phone: "Oh my god, I just said that really loud, hahha. (pause) But I can't believe your mom SAID that!"

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 18:31 (seventeen years ago) link

"daddy, did jesus ever come to the states?

uh, no honey.

Tell it to the Mormons!

― jaymc, Wednesday, 15 August 2007 18:34 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

so the other day I overheard two pretty youngish girls, one with a Dalton sweatshirt, at presumably pre-class outdoor cafe breakfast, and one said, I'm basically remembering right, "I guess, like, he sorta has a persona"

is it possible they were talking about this guy?! HOW DO I SHOT MY LIFESTYLE INTO A BRAND?

― gabbneb, Friday, 14 December 2007 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

also, yeah, he lives in model-ville

― gabbneb, Friday, 14 December 2007 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

also, it is all downhill for most of us after 13

― gabbneb, Friday, 14 December 2007 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

today in HMV, a group of girls going through their xmas shopping list..

"Okay help me with this next DVD. It's something called 'Transformers' the original one, it's a cartoon. And apparently it's about a car that can transform into a robot."
"I'm in the T section, I can't find it."

― Ste, Saturday, 22 December 2007 18:54 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

"they only had to take out eight inches of her colon, which is great!"

― omar little, Saturday, 2 February 2008 00:57 (sixteen years ago) link

been there, done that.

― Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 2 February 2008 02:44 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Teenage girl walking out of her house:

"If it scars, I'm getting plastic surgery, start saving up!"

― jel --, Tuesday, 19 February 2008 17:35 (sixteen years ago) link

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