Spider-Man 3 anticipation begins...now

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Just d/led this & new Dr. Who ep. Cannot wait to watch even tho Spiderman 2 was so boring I couldn't finish it. I adored the first one, tho, what a fucking great movie.

― Abbott, Sunday, 6 May 2007 00:40 (seventeen years ago) link

The other really, REALLY weak segment is a longish part in the middle where we're supposed to see the insidious effect of the Venom symbiote on Parker's personality. Unfortunately, this takes the form of him listening to James Brown and disco-dancing in the street right after he buys an all-black outfit, then showing off at the jazz club Mary Jane has been working at after she dumps him.

This (especially the dancing-in-the-street part) was awesome.

― David R., Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Otherwise, Oily OTM.

― David R., Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:05 (seventeen years ago) link

See, while I admit that stuff was (somewhat) funny, as a window into the crueller, more self-serving side of Parker's soul it just failed utterly. The thoughtless domineering of the landlord's daughter was so much more interesting and believable. Sure, lots of assholes might take their new, hot date to a place where the girl who dumped them was working in food service just to rub her nose in it. That would be fine. But the musical/acrobatic number on top of it? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeak.

― Oilyrags, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha I thought the dance sequences were great! The Flint Marko/Sandman/He really killed your dad nonsense OTOH was just nonsense.

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought Topher Grace was s'okay and James Franco was funny (although they disfigured his pretty face!

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link

And Bruce Campbell had the best cameo.

― Alex in SF, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:32 (seventeen years ago) link

nothing is as freaky as bad superman in 3.

― s1ocki, Sunday, 6 May 2007 03:58 (seventeen years ago) link

i just really appreciated the fact that sam raimi decided to make the venom story just a really weird, convoluted cocaine metaphor.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Again with the cocaine.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:03 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, it was hilarious to catch spiderman yesterday after the day of blow on ilx, i gotta say.

i also loved their decision mid-way through the film to replace tobey maguire with the guy from the killers. ripping off the opening sequence to saturday night fever was odd yet inspired. srsly i am with every single person who is saying that the best part of the movie was the completely bizarre "peter parker, dancing dickweed of the lower east side" sequence in the middle of the film. also: WTF WITH THE EGG COOKING SCENE?? "do you like peppers?"

if i ever have to hear kirsten dunst sing again, though, i'm going to deafen myself with chopsticks.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:11 (seventeen years ago) link

How many millions were spent on Topher Grace's hair?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:12 (seventeen years ago) link

I MEAN, THEY GONGED THE VILLAIN?? THIS MOVIE WAS ON SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:12 (seventeen years ago) link

in retrospect actually my favorite line might've just been topher grace shouting "what the hell" after coked-out black-suited my particle physics romance spiderman broke his camera.

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I think Cheech & Chong's Next Movie probably makes more sense than this did. I haven't seen it in a while.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:13 (seventeen years ago) link

oh my god otm on the "what the hell!" thing but i'm pretty sure i'm sticking with "do you like...peppers?" as my favorite line.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

also: particle physicists are basically two white dudes and 40 models, i have to get into that field.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

"HELLO I AM THE GOBLIN. MY DIABOLICAL VILLAIN PLAN IS TO...TELL PETER PARKER I BANGED HIS GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HIM CRY. LOL I'M AN ASSHOLE!"

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Raimi was all like "Shit man, I killed off my Tim Curry in the first one, my Meatloaf in the second one, now I've got to make my action/adventure Rocky Horror homage with just these goofy kids and they won't let me even put any sex in it!!"

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't even know what the hell you are talking about with this rocky horror picture show metaphor. are YOU sam raimi?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

"HELLO I AM THE GOBLIN. MY DIABOLICAL VILLAIN PLAN IS TO...TELL PETER PARKER I BANGED HIS GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HIM CRY. LOL I'M AN ASSHOLE!"

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, May 8, 2007 9:16 AM (53 seconds ago)

ally totally needs to start a film review site

― latebloomer, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

cue willem dafoe...HEY, HARRY. MAKE HER...AN OMLETTE. PLAY SOME CHUBBY CHECKER. THAT WILL TEACH SPIDERMAN! HAHAHAHAHA!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i think that i loved this movie but it confused me so much that i felt like i was completely drunk when i left the theatre so it might just be spiderman hangover.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe SM3 was a test run for SPIDER-MAN: THE MUSICAL!

(I only wish that actually happened. The Green Goblin, Dance Instructor scene.)

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.xippas.com/i/artistes/gallery/chuck_close/cc06_4a.jpg
HARRY! HARRY! DESTROY PARKER!! HAVE A CHARMING BIG CHILL HOMAGE WITH HIS LADYFRIEND!! AVENGE MEEEEE!!

― ghost rider, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

i would watch that 100x but only if they overdub kirsten dunst. i mean christ i know the point was that mary jane is completely talentless but did they have to prove this over and over??

speaking of, i said last night that a big problem with the spiderman series is that mary jane and now gwen stacy are intolerably unhot, vapid bitches. which is pretty much par for the course with female roles in action films BUT why did they have to make bit part females 10000000000000000000000000000x hotter than their main females? fake parker posey in the newspaper office and russian girl are both so much cuter?? i have no sympathy for peter parker's predicament, he should just date one of the more awesome girls.

xpost AAAAAARRRRGH!!!

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

harry should stop drinking makers because that's the only time his dad ever shows up screaming in the mirror, is the thing. get yourself some "venom suit," kid.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link

It was just something I thought of this morning as a better explanation for this movie's most batshit qualities might be instead of Raimi deciding at the 11th hour to just get baked and watch "Will It Blend?" on YouTube, he actually sat down and watched RHPS and realized yes, you can pack this much ridiculous shit into one movie, but the way to do it is with dancing and music.

The way 100 minutes of the entire film is all expository setup to justify the final convoluted 4-way reminded me of how I think Joe Dirt exists just because somebody had a dream where Chris Walken, an American Indian, a hot blonde, and David Spade wearing a blue dread wig are all in some kind of muscle car drag racing Kid Rock, and they felt the need to write a whole screenplay to explain how that would actually happen.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

"I had a dream where blah blah blah and then they were drag racing Kid Rock"

"first of all, that would never happen"

"OH YEAH WELL"

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

If that dream also involved Dennis Miller, then fuck that shit.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link

people don't dream about dennis miller, they dream about rob lowe playing dennis miller

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

WAIT THAT'S BRILLIANT

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:46 (seventeen years ago) link

& yes, OTM re: Landlord's Daughter & JJJ's Secretary (ELIZABETH BANKS) being much hotter / nicer / more well-rounded. I liked KD's singing voice, tho. :\

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Also: I will totally finance BEING DENNIS MILLER if you guys can get me a script.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 14:57 (seventeen years ago) link

And you can make the film for about $1000.

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

kd was basically tone deaf??? dude.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't help what I like!

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

story of my life

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Can we talk about this Julie Taymor Beatles / Hair piece of shit that was previewed before my viewing of SM3 now? Because what the fuck is that?

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

oh my god every single preview before spiderman was almost as/even more confusing and horrible as spiderman.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I hope you're not badmouthing FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER!

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:22 (seventeen years ago) link

what did they do to jessica alba, she looked like shit in that

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:23 (seventeen years ago) link

ok that is 8080 BLOODTRAP whatever means OTM nowadays

― David R., Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I liked Bruce Campbell and the landlord's daughter, and I enjoyed the first 5 hours of the dancing dickweed sequence, but WTF with the rest of the movie?

The omlette scene might have been funny and the movie was probably clever and self-consciously satirical, but if Raimi was trying to be the Paul Verhoeven of teenage romance movies, then he did a much better job in 2 than he did in 3.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Sure, I was really drunk and I nodded off a couple times during the final fight scene because I stopped drinking 15 hours earlier or however long that movie was, but "oh no, I'm going to jump back into the tuning fork circle with the freaky space-suit monster and get blowed up" wasn't even funny because my patience had already snapped.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

i still don't know why he didn't just inform the police that the way to defeat sandman, at least temporarily, was by hosing him down.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

Because that movie was longer than the Decalogue and The Return of the Kings, combined.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

also: HOW MANY CARS DID VENOM AND SANDMAN PUT IN THAT GIANT WEB OF SUSPENDED THINGS ABOVE NYC??? it seemed to be just the one but like every time mary jane moved there was another dump truck falling on her.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

was it like, oh hey, we already put one taxi up there, might as well throw a couple more taxis and trucks up there, why not. i mean we have this huge web already...

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:39 (seventeen years ago) link

ALSO (guys i have so many questions about this movie) why the hell did spiderman have to ride goblin's oversized scooter down to rescue mary jane? was it just so we could have a scene of franco and maguire humping each other on a skateboard? because it would've been more efficient if, i dunno, SPIDEY USED HIS WEB SHOT POWER LIKE USUAL instead?

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 8 May 2007 15:40 (seventeen years ago) link

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