I would have EXCELSIORS with all this ILXors (phase 2 for the nu year)

-- StanM (Stan10...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007 2:36 AM.

Only cause I was quickly scrolling thru a thread.

-- reverto levidensis (n...), January 5th, 2007 1:42 PM. (blueski) (later)

-- Michael Daddino (epicharmu...), September 13th, 2006 4:10 AM. (epicharmus)

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), January 5th, 2007 3:57 PM.

There's my theory that CJ is Michael Jackson in disguise blown out of the proverbial water.

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), January 5th, 2007 3:59 PM.

Although I may be deliberately misleading you here, for my own amusement. (I said that in a high pitched squeaky voice, btw)

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), January 5th, 2007 4:02 PM.

(It's OK, I think you're Jonathan King really.)

-- Tim (hopkinsti...), January 5th, 2007 4:03 PM.

-- VALLEY OF BLIZZARDZ (whateve...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007 11:25 AM. (Mr.Que) (later) (link)

Is Snow Patrol important?

They are if you've been trapped under a canopy of frehsly avalanched snow or fractured your tibia on a treacherous mogul. Otherwise, no.

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), June 3rd, 2004.

-- nabisco (--...), January 5th, 2007.

-- Shakey Mo Collier (aud...), January 4th, 2007.

why dont you get to work on that

-- and what (an...), January 4th, 2007.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when the devil whispers...

-- You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (papiermachealamphibia...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok nevermind I forgot how creepy you are.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...) (webmail), January 5th, 2007. (link)

Second of all, virgins are not allowed to judge what is and is not an orgasm face.

guts are AWESOME xpost

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...), January 5th, 2007 8:39 PM. (scarymonsterrr)

Jessie, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH PR0N FFS

;-)

-- You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (papiermachealamphibia...), January 5th, 2007 8:40 PM. (Haberdager)

dude never make a winky face at me again.

-- Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr...), January 5th, 2007 8:41 PM. (scarymonsterrr)

Now I'm coming for your children.

;-) ;-) ;-)

*sigh*

I like that!

http://library.thinkquest.org/TQ0311546/min_files/minotaur.jpg

I have to admit that I stopped reading here.

...or YOU?

...or ANYONE READING THIS????

did not need to read this word today

I should just send my therapy bill directly to your parents, right?

Old thread reading on a sick day turns up this jewel:

Michael, have you ever sat, red-faced and full of Cointreau, atop a bidet while stuffing your face with pheasant and quail eggs? A little Edith Piaf on the victrola? You're among friends.

Alas, no. My first encounter with a bidet was in Brussels in the summer of '84. I was staying in the staid little home in the suburb of Woluwe-St. Pierre of some friends of my grandfather in their upstairs guest room. I had come home from a day of adolescent tourism (I believe I drank beer in the Grande Place and ogled the pulchritude which is the teenage female form) and after dinner retired upstairs to discretely smoke some weed and engage in some comparative literature, namely that of reading the same Asterix and Obelix in Latin and Dutch to see if I could figure out the plot. All of a sudden my bowels, delicate entrails of American manufacture unused to the vicissitudes of Belgian beer and fries, made it known that they would need to be voided forthwith. A cursory glance at the bathroom upon my arrival had led me to believe it contained all the usual amenities associated with such a procedure. In a curious and unexpected bit of bathroom design, it actually contained only a small shower, a sink and a bidet. The urgency of my bowels left me no other alternative but to deposit a large, steaming shit in the porcelain embrace of the bidet too large and too dense to contemplate rinsing down the drain.

So, I made my way downstairs past the den where my hosts were watching TV and went into the kitchen. The hostess, partly out of hospitality and partly to protect the sanctity of her spotless kitchen asked if she could get me anything and I called out loudly (too loudly) that I was just geting a glass of water and started rummaging around for some plastic bags which I quickly and thankfully found right next to the garbage and stuffed into my pockets just as she came in. She pointed out the cupboard where the glasses were and watched me as I sheepishly drank my glass of water.

At that point my eart sank since I knew it would be impossible to smuggle my turd downstairs that night without arousing her suspicion so I went upstairs, bagged my shit, washed my hands, closed the door and went to bed. The next morning she came to wake me and tell me they were off to work and suggested that I take the bike from the garden and take the tram out to ride through the woods all the while pretending she didn't notice the funk which I smelled emanating from the bathroom. Later I snuck my shame downstairs to the toilet, rinsed out the bag and put it inside the second one and wriggled into the middle of the garbage. Then I took the bike and went to the woods where I drank beer at a monastery with a lake full of swans under the summer sunlight dappled by the canopy of spreading leaves and relaxed. Also, I don't like Cointreau.

-- M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, July 6, 2005 12:35 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

you're not a mom

-- river wolf, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

you own a cat

-- river wolf, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 11:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link
Delete Undelete Ban User User Info

'you're not a mom,' said the wolf sternly, 'you own a cat.'

-- estela, Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:03 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Pitchfork 3-day pass needed

I thought this thread was gonna be about insufferable old people getting all warm and fuzzy about "Jane Says" and "How Soon Is Now."

-- Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:56 PM (5 minutes ago)

Whiney 8080

"Possum Kingdom" in the sex scene, plz.

-- David R., Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:59 PM (2 minutes ago)

i swear i read someplace that sake is hangover proof.

-- river wolf, Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:54 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

rw, that is cooking sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Steve Shasta, Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

haha, pwned

i bought it at the gas station!

-- river wolf, Thursday, June 21, 2007 5:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

It's probably not even sake, then. It's like, rice-gasahol or something. Did you get it from one of the pumps?

Chris Martin's from just outside Exeter, but the other dudes aren't.

-- Scik Mouthy, Thursday, 21 June 2007 23:20 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Yeah, they were assembled in South Korea I think.

-- Noodle Vague, Thursday, 21 June 2007 23:24 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you are funny little men, you lot

-- lex pretend, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:36 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

we learned it by watching you, dad

-- strongohulkington, Thursday, 21 June 2007 21:38 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b6/Cruncheroos_Honey_and_Almonds_Box.jpg

-- Will M., Friday, June 22, 2007 8:33 AM (3 minutes ago)

I never thought I would see the day where a hip, with-it purple dinosaur could sexually violate a bowl of cereal.

-- HI DERE, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:34 AM (1 minute ago)

aka "check out the sex face on this dinosaur"

-- HI DERE, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

dan if that's your definition of a sex face, you have a forgiving wife

-- strongohulkington, Friday, June 22, 2007 8:36 AM (4 seconds ago)

that clown is about to go down on that cereal

-- Mr. Que, Friday, June 22, 2007 3:40 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

the cruncheroos dinosaur sex face is causing me physical pain from trying not to get fired

Miel et amandes

Cruncheroos dino is the cereal mascot industry's analogue to Pepe Le Pew

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/almorbs.jpg

by the unbeatable tracer "hates cap'n crunch" hand!

OMG.

bad teethamix

-- strongohulkington, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Hey fuck you in a bowl of Vegemite flavoured Cheerios Jess!

-- Trayce, Friday, June 22, 2007 12:40 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

^^^
That has to be some new post to excelsiorizing land speed record.

-- John Justen, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 5:59 PM

this poll is a lil gay

-- The Macallan 18 Year, Friday, 22 June 2007 17:23 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

you're a lil gay

-- the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 22 June 2007 17:27 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I am the lil gay

-- Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 22 June 2007 17:28 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Oh god excelsiored when I am drunk heh.

Haha that reminds me of how we all used to say "das vodenya" (sp, wtf) before drinking, however it is you say "goodbye" in russian.

-- Trayce, Saturday, 23 June 2007 03:29 (3 hours ago) Link