Has ILE become too pally?

it seems that way to me, too, but then I have to sit back and realize that these other people ARE NOT ME, and have v. different emotional lives and may mean exactly what they say when they do that effusive ILXor love thing.

I have serious issues with strong emotions and other people probably don't. That's my problem, not theirs. I know exactly where Amateurist is coming from but at the same time I like to think I know where the other side is coming from as well

(obv I do not, to be honest)

In terms of people being supportive and that seeming trivial...there may be some insincerity on these boards, but it seems that very many of these sentiments are real. Especially with the more prolific posters, you get to know people a bit from their posts, and become fond of some of them. And it sucks to see anyone hurt.

It seems to me that the issue at hand stems simply from the fact that people are different from one another. Some people are not tolerant of this and would prefer if everyone posted as they themselves would post. Some people are not sociable, jokey types and reading sociable, jokey posts may grate on them. They don't feel genuine concern or empathy for other people, besides a select few loved ones, and assume that those who show concern and empathy freely must be faking it.

Concern and empathy aren't really my pet peeves, as these can be and are in many different ways--it's excessive flattery and effusive sentiment that doesn't seem to have much basis. The sort of thing Jody alludes to when she calls ILE "We Love Us."

I know a woman, she's a friend of my mother's, and at get-togethers she inevitably gives a toast in which she rambles on and on about how much she loves everyone, how special everyone is, how beautiful and smart and etc.. Most people are rather embarrassed for her, for her toasts seems to be less about actually loving anyone (although I'm sure it is not *dishonest* per se) as her needing to feel a part of something, soak in emotion. (Said person all attends funerals of people she hardly knows and cries profusely, and calls up dying friends 10 times a day to see if she can "help," over the objections of said friend's husband.)

Does it not belittle certain feelings and thoughts if you go around expressing them in the most enthusiastic terms willy-nilly? Also does every thought and emotion have to be expressed in the most enthusiastic, hyperbolic terms?

You're right though that I probably prefer less expression of "feelings" (in the overt, explicit sense) than many. It's a cornerstone of my personality, and yet I don't think it makes me "unemotional"--quite the contrary.

From my first post here I said only that I myself "balk" at these effusions, not that anyone was being insincere or dishonest ("faking it"), nor that anyone should have to stop them on my behalf.

Concern and empathy aren't really my pet peeves, as these can be and are EXPRESSED in many different ways

This sounds like me at 5am Sunday morning at Glastonbury.

And how are you determining what is excessive?
I call bullshit on your economy of emotions, but, to each his own.

Ha! I used to know someone like this. Opinions were split among mutual acquaintances -- her friends obv thought she was the ginchiest loveliest most generous person evah because she flattered them so and was always "there" and was very vocal about her there-ness, making sure everyone was 100% aware how full of 24/7/365 concern and sympathy and YOU ROCK and today's-your-birthday-isn't-it she was, while other people just found her really flaky and shallow and disingenuous. People like her have made me wary of all manner of compliments and excessive good will, because I always have to wonder about the person's motives and/or sincerity. I do sometimes see behavior on ILX that reminds me of hers... I'm not sure how to react to it, really. The people I care about know that I care about them, and if they need me I'm here and willing to help, but I refuse to launch a million-dollar campaign to elect myself Humanitarian of the Year. So if I'm noticeably quiet about these things, that's why.

I don't think this logically valid, Martin. They could be true to the person who makes them, no matter how often they do it, but still diminish the force of sympathy by their ubiquity. A kind of converse of compassion fatigue.

From my first post here I said only that I myself "balk" at these effusions, not that anyone was being insincere or dishonest ("faking it"), nor that anyone should have to stop them on my behalf.

If you look at the thread list, I'm not shouting any more than anyone else.

Perhaps because at the start of two threads I said: GO! GO! ?
That's pretty trvial. But I'm not worried about it. I will in the future say Go. Go.
You will then be happy.