lonely

I'm so hurt.

This is too apposite.

I don't have anyone to hug. :*(

*Inetrweb hug*

Big sympathies David, it won't matter what you do over the next few days, you'll still feel just as bad. Maybe by that time there'll be some good advice on the thread though. My only suggestions are - write it all down and then throw the paper away; drink in order to sleep*; organise some kind of visit somewhere else for a couple of weeks' time.

*if you're a sleepy drunk. Not otherwise.

Thank you for all the kind words.

I have been so bad to Katy. I've not abused her or hurt her or anything overt, I guess I've just neglected her which is a way of irredeemably bruising a heart and I wish every little nag, every dismissal of taste, every stupid insult disguised and justified as 'joke', every single hour I spent on here instead of with Katy I wish I could just start it all over again. Sorry.

(My mind keeps returning to the same thought: 'I need to get a haircut!' Why?)

I need to let her be, don't I? I've sent her e-mails, explaining how I feel, explaining how I can and will change, asking for a second chance, I just need to let it rest now until she's ready to come to me. I'm just scared she won't come to me and drive myself to death by not sleeping or eating or thinking other thoughts.

That's exactly what you need to do. If you've already let her know how you feel and how you can make it up to her, you have to leave her alone for a little while and let her figure out what she wants to do.

I can't believe she doesn't love me anymore.

This is what I hope; it's just a week is a long time when the minute hand never moves.

I'm feeling about 12 on Don Paterson's "Scale of Intensity":

1) Not felt. Smoke still rises vertically. In sensitive individuals, déjà vu, mild amnesia. Sea like a mirror.

2) Detected by persons at rest or favourably placed, i.e. in upper floors, hammocks, cathedrals, etc. Leaves rustle.

3) Light sleepers wake. Glasses chink. Hairpins, paperclips display slight magnetic properties. Irritability. Vibration like passing of light trucks.

4) Small bells ring. Small increase in surface tension and viscosity of certain liquids. Domestic violence. Furniture overturned.

5) Heavy sleepers wake. Pendulum clocks stop. Public demonstrations. Large flags fly. Vibration like passing of heavy trucks.

6) Large bells ring. Bookburning. Aurora visible in daylight hours. Unprovoked assaults on strangers. Glassware broken. Loose tiles fly from roof.

7) Weak chimneys broken off at roofline. Waves on small ponds, water turbid with mud. Unprovoked assaults on neighbours. Large static charges built up on windows, mirrors, television screens.

8) Perceptible increase in weight of stationary objects: books, cups, pens heavy to lift. Fall of stucco and some masonry. Systematic rape of women and young girls. Sand craters. Cracks in wet ground.

9) Small trees uprooted. Bathwater drains in reverse vortex. Wholesale slaughter of religious and ethnic minorities. Conspicuous cracks in ground. Damage to reservoirs and underground pipelines.

10) Large trees uprooted. Measurable tide in puddles, teacups, etc. Torture and rape of small children. Irreparable damage to foundations. Rails bend. Sand shifts horizontally on beaches.

11) Standing impossible. Widespread self-mutilation. Corposant visible on pylons, lampposts, metal railings. Waves seen on ground surface. Most bridges destroyed.

12) Damage total. Movement of hour hand perceptible. Large rock masses displaced. Sea white.

"If you love something, set it free; if it comes back then it is truly meant to be."

As for RIGHT NOW - company company company. If you're alone the chances are much higher you'll end up phoning/writing/hitting refresh etc etc. You need people around you who are going to talk about the rest of the universe rather than your collapsed bit of it.

The only other advice I'd give is to make sure you don't say anything that can never be taken back.

I hope you don't even read this post until tomorrow!

I've read your post, Tom.

What does 'don't say anything that can never be taken back' mean? I'm getting away from this computer now. See how it all looks in the morning.

But there in the clearing
I know you'll be wearing
Your young aching smile
And waving your hand

Can't go with my heart
When I can't feel what's in it
I thought you'd come over
But for some reason you didn't glass
On the pavement under my shoe
Without you is all my life amounts to

A final sleep
No words from my cutting
Mouth to your ear
Or taut wicked pinches
From my fingers to your bitter face
That I can't heal

I know tomorrow you will be
Somewhere in London
Living with someone
You've got some kind of family
There to turn to
And that's more than
I could ever give you

A chance for calm
A hope for freedom
Outlet from my cold solitary kingdom
By the forest of our spring stay
Where you walked away

And left a bleeding part of me
Empty and bothered
Watching the water
Quiet in the corner
Numb and falling through
Without you what does my life amount to

People who spend all day posting to ILX definitely aren't lonely

broad statement

i cried all the fucking way thru Jesus Christ Superstar

well if that's not what alw musicals are for then idk what

truth

the last JCS I caught had an absurdly nourished Jesus I found it difficult to fully engage

cast for this was great tonight, including my two

rah so

srsly tho the Romans never built a structure woulda held this guy up for three days

what roles did yr two play?

Han was in the chorus and Jay was an apostle. it was a big production for an amateur drama school, used the city's main theatre. set still wobbled a bit tho.

awesome

at least you aren't don henley

small blessings

this would explain p much my entire PC MUSIC posting spree fwiw

met my best friend today. we meet in small installments. it's nice and i enjoy it. but now night has settled - long, dark, abandoned. is this a state one must grow accustomed to

sorry this is so egotistical, something will happen to make me feel less lonely soon, others are suffering more, i'm just attention spoilt. um i'll be in other threads

I love to be alone, I have gone to Silverdale for peace and quiet. The noise of others is deafening sometimes

^me too and i rarely am these days and i fear it is actually killing me

lj yr polysyllabic spree brings content, and content is king, regrettez rien

My son's school requested some photos for PECS assistance and two of the categories they gave us was Family and Friends and we have had to explain that outside of the school he has no friends at all and none of either of his parents families give a fuck about him, so there are no photos we can add as family and friends other than me his mum, me and the fucking labrador! It only bothers me that by the time I am dead this will be a problem and he will be truly lonely.