Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

you should ask to schedule a meeting at 4:30pm PST

we've thought of doing that, but every meeting with this d-bag goes on for two hours (he's a talker, he is), so we'd end up being there late too. my solution was just to stop going to the meeting, and since my boss is on the west coast too, she's cool with it. it still annoys me on principle, though.

well, sounds like the problem is solved either way (not going).

seriously tho - what a douchebag thing to do.

Who the hell wants to have a meeting at 9 AM anyway?

Type-A's without any hint of sleep issues and an inability to imagine that anyone might be worthwhile or successful that isn't exactly the same as themselves.

Its ok most of those types end up divorced and then dead at 60 of a heart attack anyway.

he's 61 and just got married! in fact, he sold the CEO on making his wife a [position of employment] for the [country] sales division. tan. lives in [place]. mustache. republican. huge [sports team] fan.

well that's crystal clear :)

might have been redacted slightly

mustache is pretty much all you need to know

OMG IT'S RON BURGUNDY

I'm starting to feel like I need anger managment therapy. I'm 2 months through a 3 month notice period and I'm going insane.

They want me to document everything because I'm the only one left who knows half the system (they already alienated everyone else who did, they all quit last year or the year before, I was too lazy/settled to get around to leaving at the same time, although it's been total crap at my company for about 2 years, this is my punishment for laziness I guess), but they can't stop bugging me about other things, giving me more work to do which should probably go to the person who's taking over from me (with me available to help them if they get stuck), etc.

I'm probably lucky they haven't fired me yet given I've basically insulted everyone who works in any kind of management position on a regular basis.

fizzles' liver-wire story made me genuinely lol. tempted to try it myself, to be honest

"It's just funny going to the Asian market downstairs and hearing the strains of Johnny Cash walking the line."

It's not an Asian market. It's a convenience store. They don't sell anything remotely Asian there. You go there to buy diet coke. The owners are Asian-Americans. If you owned a convenience store, it wouldn't be an Irish-American market.

Also, more than just white people can like Johnny Cash.

James, the problem with the liver wire was it was very difficult to work out what such a flimsy piece of apparatus could possibly doing that would require it to be fitted. If you're going to give it a go, can I suggest a an actual piece of tubing (rather than clock-radio aerial)? Also, don't use masking tape to affix it to the side of your neck. Lay in some medical-looking stuff - translucent or something.

I mean even before the lol of seeing that it wasn't really joined to anything, there was the immediate scepticism of 'this person has a long record of telling fibs and swinging the lead - tho this is next level tbqf'.

(Good example of fib - he once told a group of us that one of his aunties had won the lottery. Then about half a year later he told us that his auntie had won the lottery, which was greeted with 'Another one!'. His response? A look of brief confusion then, 'Yes, that's what everyone said, amazing isn't it?'

I mean, it's basically pitiable and funny, although I also didn't talk to him for about two years because it is also boring and annoying. The bus he used to get home in the evening used to be called The Big B___ Bus of Bullshit, because of the Preposterous Tales you'd be subjected to on the way home.

I mean, I generally like to have a default setting of believing what people say, but this guy was something else.

If somebody is going to be completely full of shit, I would prefer them to be completely full of shit about interesting things so I can say, "Yes, this is surely false, but my world is so much interesting if it's true and so I chose to believe."

Did anyone call this dude on the wire?

No, none of us (his colleagues) did. Really wouldn't have been worth the fuss iirc. The manager at that time was so ineffectual that he wouldn't have said anything. But the general ambience of contempt and laughter it provoked meant he didn't come in with it again.

He never did anything quite so egregious again, until recently when a heavily worked/airbrushed/photoshopped profile photo of him on facebook appeared and people were incredulous when he was showing it off, because he kept saying 'Amazing isn't it? It must have just been a trick of the light'.

This dude sounds awesome.

Not stupid or annoying, but just found another coworker in my division is resigning. Thats the second one in less than a month, leaving the rest of us with a huge workload. So stressed out.

Two guys among my group resigned in August and we still haven't replaced them, largely due to a combination of red tape and office politics. I've been told that I'm supposed to replace one of the guys (i.e. get a promotion), but we have to hire for the other position first, because it really is a more essential role. So we've been overworked for 6 months and I've been left hanging on this promotion for six months. I feel your stress.

wow. that wire story is something else.

Having just sent round the new set of business cards I designed following a logo change, I was asked "Why can't we have ATTRACTIVE cards?", to which I replied "I'll design attractive cards when we have attractive workers." -- a reply I was quite proud of until I saw I had emailed Reply to ALL

liver wire man is gonna get srsly ill for reals one day and no one will believe him.

aw shit james

a reply I was quite proud of until I saw I had emailed Reply to ALL

ohhhhhhh no! I hope you dont end up in the paper or something! ;P

pet peeve: when someone "corrects" a word and is completely wrong.

example, i had a sentence that read "Care should be taken so that our work complements the efforts of our sister branch." An edited version comes back an hour that says "Care should be taken so that our work complements compliments the efforts of our sister branch."

sigh. not a big deal, but it happens all the time, and always ends with either a) a quick visit to dictionary.com or b) the other person "agreeing" with me but the look on the face suggests that they're just letting me get my way to save me face

One photographer I deal with called her business "Photo's by _______". I pointed out the error and she was pretty pissed off. "I'm not changing it -- I already have my business cards printed."

ha ahha hahaaa.

Will, that is fucking great!

Maybe she'll only take one photo for each client.

Every photo she sends out has the digital watermark "© Photo's by ______" (aka "© I'm A Stubborn Dumbass") on it.

Plus she's not a very good photographer.

xp hahaha

People will think she's selling just one photo, which is by __________.

Xp dammit

ZS, that is my biggest peeve! esp the 'ok....' face you mention!

My coworker got married during his lunch break today. Not that I'm bitching. Just saying.

2 workmates are going "hwwaoooorrrrrrrrrrr!" in awe/horror at that vid of the bullied kid who poleaxed the other kid into the concrete. Im like "wtf how have you not seen this before now!?"

Also do some work you barstools! If you dont sell stuff I have no work to do dammit!

weirdly threatening
http://i.imgur.com/Hu0nY.jpg

Me: Good morning, Hank.
Hank: I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU?
Me: …

Just sent mean email to dude in outsourced development team because he repeatedly asks me when his data is going to be available even though every time he asks me I tell him I am only responsible for loading the data when it arrives, not sourcing it, and have no idea when that will happen. I think he might get the message this time... kinda feel like I'm being a dick about it but enough is enough and anyway I'm leaving in 2 weeks so fuck 'em.

well how did you word it? "I WOULDN'T UPLOAD YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST DATA ON EARTH!"

Data Cleansing is so passé

xpost Heh it was pretty obnoxious, it started with I don't know how many times I have to tell you this and ended with Please stop asking me ... I do not know. I didn’t know last time you asked me, I won’t know next time either.

Stupid thing is I've told him plenty of times to ask the project manager, who was also cc'd on the email he sent me.

I've had lunch now so I'm in a good mood again. Also a different person asked me who would be responsible for doing this kind of thing after I've left, and I had to say I have no idea because I haven't handed over to anyone, which made me slightly happier imagining them having to try and figure all this shit out after I've gone when they've had 3 months to find someone for me to handover to.

okay I have no idea what the context for this is and I genuinely like this particular coworker, but I just heard his voice steadily rising in volume and irritation from across the office and thought it was kind of funny out of nowhere:

"Dan... Dan. Dan... Dan.... DAN.... DAN... Dan Dan Dan. DAN. You asked me a question, I'm trying to answer it. Dan. DAN. She's a straight A student."

inception music imo

i'd bitch about my coworkers, but they're generally ok. Problem is that for the past week and for this week all three have been absent due to jobshare, annual leave and illness. We're (I'm?) also covering for another unit whose members are out due to jobshare, maternity leave (x 3) and, in the longer term, retirement (not to be replaced, x 2) and, in the longest term, death (not to be replaced).

I'm leaving in three weeks, so tbh I've enough to be doing what with winding downs and wrapping ups, but there's nobody to complain to- the immediate boss just got promoted (not to be replaced).

btw i'm not to be replaced, as far ad i know, but really that's not my problem

okay I have no idea what the context for this is and I genuinely like this particular coworker, but I just heard his voice steadily rising in volume and irritation from across the office and thought it was kind of funny out of nowhere:

"Dan... Dan. Dan... Dan.... DAN.... DAN... Dan Dan Dan. DAN. You asked me a question, I'm trying to answer it. Dan. DAN. She's a straight A student."

Related to this, maybe?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2D3-FkoXNU

ha, a couple weeks ago i walked in on one of my co-workers screaming at another co-worker (also her BFF) STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!! and this was in one of our stores. it was pretty awkward, but both of these girls are totally crazy and weird and flaky, and constantly suffering from one crisis or another.