Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

If somebody is going to be completely full of shit, I would prefer them to be completely full of shit about interesting things so I can say, "Yes, this is surely false, but my world is so much interesting if it's true and so I chose to believe."

Did anyone call this dude on the wire?

No, none of us (his colleagues) did. Really wouldn't have been worth the fuss iirc. The manager at that time was so ineffectual that he wouldn't have said anything. But the general ambience of contempt and laughter it provoked meant he didn't come in with it again.

He never did anything quite so egregious again, until recently when a heavily worked/airbrushed/photoshopped profile photo of him on facebook appeared and people were incredulous when he was showing it off, because he kept saying 'Amazing isn't it? It must have just been a trick of the light'.

This dude sounds awesome.

Not stupid or annoying, but just found another coworker in my division is resigning. Thats the second one in less than a month, leaving the rest of us with a huge workload. So stressed out.

Two guys among my group resigned in August and we still haven't replaced them, largely due to a combination of red tape and office politics. I've been told that I'm supposed to replace one of the guys (i.e. get a promotion), but we have to hire for the other position first, because it really is a more essential role. So we've been overworked for 6 months and I've been left hanging on this promotion for six months. I feel your stress.

wow. that wire story is something else.

Having just sent round the new set of business cards I designed following a logo change, I was asked "Why can't we have ATTRACTIVE cards?", to which I replied "I'll design attractive cards when we have attractive workers." -- a reply I was quite proud of until I saw I had emailed Reply to ALL

liver wire man is gonna get srsly ill for reals one day and no one will believe him.

aw shit james

a reply I was quite proud of until I saw I had emailed Reply to ALL

ohhhhhhh no! I hope you dont end up in the paper or something! ;P

pet peeve: when someone "corrects" a word and is completely wrong.

example, i had a sentence that read "Care should be taken so that our work complements the efforts of our sister branch." An edited version comes back an hour that says "Care should be taken so that our work complements compliments the efforts of our sister branch."

sigh. not a big deal, but it happens all the time, and always ends with either a) a quick visit to dictionary.com or b) the other person "agreeing" with me but the look on the face suggests that they're just letting me get my way to save me face

One photographer I deal with called her business "Photo's by _______". I pointed out the error and she was pretty pissed off. "I'm not changing it -- I already have my business cards printed."

ha ahha hahaaa.

Will, that is fucking great!

Maybe she'll only take one photo for each client.

Every photo she sends out has the digital watermark "© Photo's by ______" (aka "© I'm A Stubborn Dumbass") on it.

Plus she's not a very good photographer.

xp hahaha

People will think she's selling just one photo, which is by __________.

Xp dammit

ZS, that is my biggest peeve! esp the 'ok....' face you mention!

My coworker got married during his lunch break today. Not that I'm bitching. Just saying.

2 workmates are going "hwwaoooorrrrrrrrrrr!" in awe/horror at that vid of the bullied kid who poleaxed the other kid into the concrete. Im like "wtf how have you not seen this before now!?"

Also do some work you barstools! If you dont sell stuff I have no work to do dammit!

weirdly threatening
http://i.imgur.com/Hu0nY.jpg

Me: Good morning, Hank.
Hank: I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU?
Me: …

Just sent mean email to dude in outsourced development team because he repeatedly asks me when his data is going to be available even though every time he asks me I tell him I am only responsible for loading the data when it arrives, not sourcing it, and have no idea when that will happen. I think he might get the message this time... kinda feel like I'm being a dick about it but enough is enough and anyway I'm leaving in 2 weeks so fuck 'em.

well how did you word it? "I WOULDN'T UPLOAD YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST DATA ON EARTH!"

Data Cleansing is so passé

xpost Heh it was pretty obnoxious, it started with I don't know how many times I have to tell you this and ended with Please stop asking me ... I do not know. I didn’t know last time you asked me, I won’t know next time either.

Stupid thing is I've told him plenty of times to ask the project manager, who was also cc'd on the email he sent me.

I've had lunch now so I'm in a good mood again. Also a different person asked me who would be responsible for doing this kind of thing after I've left, and I had to say I have no idea because I haven't handed over to anyone, which made me slightly happier imagining them having to try and figure all this shit out after I've gone when they've had 3 months to find someone for me to handover to.

okay I have no idea what the context for this is and I genuinely like this particular coworker, but I just heard his voice steadily rising in volume and irritation from across the office and thought it was kind of funny out of nowhere:

"Dan... Dan. Dan... Dan.... DAN.... DAN... Dan Dan Dan. DAN. You asked me a question, I'm trying to answer it. Dan. DAN. She's a straight A student."

inception music imo

i'd bitch about my coworkers, but they're generally ok. Problem is that for the past week and for this week all three have been absent due to jobshare, annual leave and illness. We're (I'm?) also covering for another unit whose members are out due to jobshare, maternity leave (x 3) and, in the longer term, retirement (not to be replaced, x 2) and, in the longest term, death (not to be replaced).

I'm leaving in three weeks, so tbh I've enough to be doing what with winding downs and wrapping ups, but there's nobody to complain to- the immediate boss just got promoted (not to be replaced).

btw i'm not to be replaced, as far ad i know, but really that's not my problem

okay I have no idea what the context for this is and I genuinely like this particular coworker, but I just heard his voice steadily rising in volume and irritation from across the office and thought it was kind of funny out of nowhere:

"Dan... Dan. Dan... Dan.... DAN.... DAN... Dan Dan Dan. DAN. You asked me a question, I'm trying to answer it. Dan. DAN. She's a straight A student."

Related to this, maybe?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2D3-FkoXNU

ha, a couple weeks ago i walked in on one of my co-workers screaming at another co-worker (also her BFF) STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!! and this was in one of our stores. it was pretty awkward, but both of these girls are totally crazy and weird and flaky, and constantly suffering from one crisis or another.

Uurrrnnnngghhh every morning, a bowl of cereal, at her desk right behind me. The incessant clink clink of the spoon on the plate and the shlrupycrunchrunch drives me INSANE.

Darragh you work in the public service right?

lol why d'you ask -_-

tbh, if current trends continue by april 24th i will actually be the irish public service, tho hr refuse to speculate on the likely effect this has on my outstanding annual leave requests

'can you do this for me, i'm not good on computers?'

Look, mrs, you've been collecting a higher wage than me for twice as long as me in your current position. As far as the work you're using it for goes, Excel hasn't moved on light-years in that time. You've had entire paid weeks off to learn how to use microsoft office, for fuck's sake. This is a basic function of your job. I'd humbly suggest that you 'get' good at computers, fuck off, and leave me alone to do the work of people that aren't actually here. Dig?

Opportunities like that are pure office gold though.

"You want me to...do your work for you? Because you're not good at it?"

i'm am too nice for that, and tbf so is the other person in question, but i'm ..... under pressure atm and hey this thread exists y'know

suggest gently that the person is shitting in your bathroom

suggest ... bran?

ZING!!!

I'd be going to my boss (or hers) and saying "why is this lady asking me to do/help her with her work, idgi, she seems v confsed?" all innocent like.

everyone else in ireland is on leave or something iirc

Theyre all over here working tbh!

are they taking our jerbs trayce

ya it's just me and her and the president holding the fort iirc, everyone else is in canada or aus tekkin their jebs

I hate when I promise to have something to the leader of my project (and our client) by a certain day by the end of business. And one day before that deadline, I remind the project lead that as promised, it will be delivered, but I am sure to clarify that it will be closer to late afternoon (because it's a lot of work). And despite this, I still get pings and "where is it" emails and messages at like mid-day, which seriously slow me down for an hour or so. And I deliver as promised in the end, but I feel like everyone's acting like I turned it in late when I turned it in when I said I was going to!