Movies That Were Probably Made By a Spasm of Six Year-Olds on Acid: The Top 75 Action Films Poll Results Thread

IIRC the rapey stuff in Hollow Man was intended to be awful

not that that makes the movie any better, it is pretty bad

Yeah, it was intended to be awful and it totally was.

huge misfire that movie

last action hero (surely top 5 ilx contender)

Would be surprised if it placed at all and gobsmacked it it made top 5.

No complaints, omar. I didn't even notice. Thx for all yr good works!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/commando.png

#45

COMMANDO

Mark L. Lester
1985
United States
(253 points, 10 votes)

Arnie escaping from the plane that's just taken off is probably the best thing he ever did in any of his films

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski)

Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied.

(How awesome that line sounded when I was ten)

― My name is Kenny! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn)

last time i saw commando, i realised that there's zero sense of a knowing wink when he delivers this line. it's soooo cold. it's like he forgot he wasn't the t-800 for that scene.

― gnarly sceptre

Lines uttered by Arnold Schwarzenegger (as John Matrix) in "Commando"

remember when he cuts off the guy's forehead? that was like an all-time childhood moment for me

sweet still!

it is.

mctiernan- die hards, 13th warrior, predator, hunt for red october, last action hero (surely top 5 ilx contender)and the dark horses thos crown remake and true lies

True Lies Jimmy Cameron.

When I was little, I once watched Commando for, like, the 200th time, and actually counted all the dead bodies. This was after I read in the Guinness book that "Red Dawn" was allegedly the most violent film of all time, and I was all, no fucking way, I'm counting the bodies in Commando!

"Where's Sully?"
"I let him go."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLix4QPL3tY

I should have rated Great Escape higher. STEVE MCQUEEN OH DANG

I didn't watch Hollow Man (although I thought I might...eventually), largely because I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything good about it.

shit it was cameron to, i knew that ffs

commando seems low

"Hollow Man" is total shit. It really hammered the nail in his coffin, Black Book or no. Remember when he was going to make a Crusades movie with Arnold? And a Jesus movie? Those would have been awesome.

it's actually #s 45 - 32

xp

i hate true lies too. that movie offended me and i'm a fan of cannibal holocaust.

haven't seen commando in a really long time, but i i feel like it was on every other day or smth when i was a kid so i've seen bits and pieces more often than the entire film in one go. i have this image of a guy shooting a bazooka behind him instead of in front, but i'm nvr sure it's actually from this movie.

Commando got 47pt from me, the essence of vhs cusp-of-adolescence near-incoherent maniac violence for me.

kinda curious if T1/T2 are gonna get hit w/ vote splitting, not even sure I'm clear on what ilx opine of T2 is

xp
Yes, it is, but it's Rae Dawn Chong rather than a guy.

which has the gag where he tears the guy's arm off and hits him over the head with it

c/r if it's commando or predator

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/thekiller1-1.jpg

#44

THE KILLER

John Wooo
1989
Hong Kong
(259 points, 8 votes, 1 first place)

I absolutely LOVED The Killer. Granted its impact is blunted a little by movies that came out after it with the same "cops and criminals are only separated by motive" motif, but even so, there was so much to like about it.

― San Te

not very googleable as far as comments go.

John Woo -- "The Killer" and other works

I can't afford to have my heart broek too many times in this life.

L, you know they're only movies, right?

IIRC the rapey stuff in Hollow Man was intended to be awful

not that that makes the movie any better, it is pretty bad

― I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Wednesday, February 15, 2012 10:22 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, it was intended to be awful and it totally was.

― getting good with gulags (beachville), Wednesday, February 15, 2012 10:23 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

huge misfire that movie

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Wednesday, February 15, 2012 10:23 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FYI y'all could also be talking about Showgirls. Verhoven really should take rape out of his satirical tool belt. Should be a pretty high standard for putting that shit up on the screen. Love Robocop and Starship Troopers, but seriously, fuck a Verhoven.

remember when everyone loved john woo? seems like so long ago now.

the killer was my #1

lol "pretty high standard" itt

xp to woof, one gis later: ummm ya, my bad. i guess it's been a really long time since i saw it :)

the rapey stuff in Showgirls is mostly surreal and nonsensical from what I remember, like it was bussed in from a completely different movie

The rape in Showgirls is horrific and played absolutely straight, it's a total whiplash of tonality. No idea how anybody could get satire out of that.

i'm also not a big face/off fan! everyone loves that movie. everyone on earth. it was better than broken arrow, but i still didn't dig it. face/off will do good in this poll. its such a fave for people.

I've seen the Killer twice on the big screen /braggin

haha please tell me "John Wooo" was a wonderful accident

dammit, seeing hk fare such as the killer is making me feel like time & tide won't show up. i mean i can try and convince myself tons of ppl voted for t&t, but i feel like the killer/john woo stuff is better known/liked here.

remember when HK cinema started to be a thing in the US among film nerd circles, and that realization that there was a whole other universe of action movies out there that nobody you knew had seen?

that kind of revelation is the one thing i kinda miss about pre-internet culture

I haven't seen most of these 80s/90s shoot-em-up movies with large-muscled men in them. Never seen any Terminator, only watched Predator for the 1st time last year (didn't care for). And my viewing is all in the last 10 years, so the childhood-era stuff doesn't have any totemic value for me. I probably love the HK stuff more than any other form.

lol, wooo

The Return of the WOOO!

DJ WOOO kid

McTiernan = those 3 and Hunt for Red October (and Last Action Hero!).

Cameron = Aliens and Terminator/T2. Interested to see if Avatar / True Lies / Titanic / Abyss place - I wouldn't be surprised if any of them do or don't.

Actually iirc the rape in Showgirls is central to the resolution of the plot: Nomi refuses to go along with the club's plan to pay her friend to be quiet about it, kicks the rapist in the balls repeatedly, and leaves Las Vegas, end of movie. It's like the one thing in the entire movie that Nomi isn't cynical about.

remember when HK cinema started to be a thing in the US among film nerd circles, and that realization that there was a whole other universe of action movies out there that nobody you knew had seen?

that kind of revelation is the one thing i kinda miss about pre-internet culture

^^^yes definitely. hit me hard at the time.

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#43

THE FIFTH ELEMENT

Luc Besson
1997
United States/France
(265 points, 10 votes)

I think it's funny, colorful, visually interesting, full of fun cartoonish characters and details, good with its action bits ... I suppose the ending is a bit cornball, but I'd say all that's really missing is painting Bjork blue to play the diva. It kinda reminds me of those "You Are an Intergalactic Spy" puzzle books I was talking about on some other thread a while back.

Am I missing some narrative issues here, or are people projecting some strange expectations onto this? E.g., speculating that the humor may be "unintentional" seems really off -- this spends like half of its time being a comedy! I mean, the monks are practically Three-Stooging it throughout!

― nabisco

well nabisco a bunch of things I don't like about it have already been cited as other people's favorite so I dunno how productive its gonna be for me to say that I have never enjoyed Bruce Willis's smug-but-lovable-asshole routine in anything ever, or that I find Chris Tucker's emasculated-black-man-freak character just gross, or that the dialogue is all by and large totally laughable ("Me Leloo - supreme being!"), or that Gary Oldman as a sci-fi southern gentleman is unconvincing (what's the point of making him southern, again?), or that the plot's central theme of "love saving the universe" doesn't interest me in any way....

In a larger sense, maybe its that I like my sci-fi films to have some content that reflects on the present in some unusual or illuminating way. This one is just empty - a lot of eye candy and self-conscious dialogue about how ridiculous all the eye candy is and that's pretty much it.

― Shakey Mo Collier

Mull - tee - pass

― zaxxon25

hahaha omg I'd forgotten about the WAR montage. This movie fucking rules.

― Curt1s Stephens

The Fifth Element

mool tee pass

leeloo dallas, multipass! still smth we say quite often with my friends

i always liked how clearly the moebius designs came through in 5E.