Movies That Were Probably Made By a Spasm of Six Year-Olds on Acid: The Top 75 Action Films Poll Results Thread

on tv again last night. of course i watched it. I still can't get over the fact that Utah doesn't shoot The Swayze after he chases him down that waterway thingy when he's got him in his sights and stuck on the fence. I mean is it whats underneath the mask? That wet poodle Swayze wears on his head throughout the film? I mean Utah, this guy used to fuck your girlfriend and now he wants to kill her. Shoot the fucking guy.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V

classic chris v

Battle Royale is historic as one of the first films with CGI blood, which has since revolutionized movies, given how many more takes and set-ups can be done without needing to clean up and reset gags first.

r.i.p. big swayze. from the swayze thread i started a long time ago:

swayze bro or no?

dude really loves some fancy dancing and there is father hood and city of joy and ghost to answer for, but i think things come out in his favor:
the outsiders (bloody greasers)

uncommon valor (bloody big muddy mia revenge)

road house (homoerotic bloodfighting)

next of kin (bloody hillbilly revenge)

steel dawn (bloody post-apocalyptic murder gangs)

youngblood (bloody hockey fights)

red dawn (greatest bloody russian movie ever made)

point break (bloody zen surf robbers)

i mean, seriously, dude has spilled a lot of blood for such a freaky ballerina. i can't decide whether being the scariest drag queen on earth in To Wong Foo is a plus or a minus.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, July 21, 2006

lol freaky ballerina

Want to say a shocking majority of these films are not streaming on Netflix.

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, February 17, 2012 10:55 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is true! I have been disappointed.

i really hope there's some crazy lurker out there who plans on taking off a week, getting a mountain of blow, and blasting through the top 50

Who needs lurkers? The power to make that happen lies within you my good sir.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/thething.jpg

#22

THE THING

John Carpenter
1982
United States
(378 points, 10 votes, 1 first place)

The blood test scene is one of the greatest movie moments ever; terrific Morricone score (mostly electronic, IIRC, something of a rarity and an obv. trib to Carpenter); even Kurt Russell doing his Clint schtick was OK (I love the moment when he pours whiskey into his computer!) Plus a really sharp script by Burt Lancaster's son!

― Andrew L

Just re-read Ebert's old review. He misses the point on a couple of fronts. One, he complains about the lack of characterization, but the fact that these characters remains so vivid to us today is surely because of the way Carpenter drew them; most films today, I leave not knowing half the characters' names. Two, he complains that the dudes would have benefited from the buddy system, but how so? If Ebert was paying attention, it's introduced way, way early that someone may have already been Thing-afied by way of the Norwegian dog wandering around. The buddy system would not have helped.

Anyway, re-watching again tonight, this movie is just tight.

― Josh in Chicago

i really want to like this but.. there's a shaggy funkiness to carpenter's movie that goes beyond kurt russell and which seems.. well, not in evidence here. everybody has great hair, for god's sake! in an antarctic research station!!! in the 1982 movie there was this kind of crass bonhomie, pot smoking, everybody a little nutty, as you would be. it's funny how sequel peeps will architect everything down to the nth degree as far as plot and set continuities go but then just throw hairstyles out the window, and the look of the movie, too. why not match the cinematography as well as the plot? why's it all got to be this ultra-contrasty shiny wetness?

― 40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand)

you've got to be fucking kidding

― Countdown to Alma Cogan (Noodle Vague)

The Thing

sounds like an awesome way to spend a week tbh
xp

wait, tracer's comment doesn't seem to refer to the 82 version dog

Should have been higher. Might have been my #1 tbh.

everyone who voted for the thing is retarded

you can't put the thing on a list of nominations and not have me vote for it. i don't care what the nominations are for.

oooh the thing... so awesome. my flatmates had never heard of it and were tripping out on a great clip (zombie zombie - driving down this road until death sets you free http://youtu.be/rT7AH4JyuNs ) that's basically a remake of the thing with gi joe. they went insane when i showed them the actual movie.

also, song and clip are awesome so watch it!

scott otm

battle royale woulda been in my top five prob.

The Thing kind of a sci-fi horror joint, no? I mean, just b/c Kurt's in the thing and its Carpenter and all, so I get the kneejerk impulse. Plus it is aces on pretty much every level, but still!

any movie in which a helicopter chases a wolf is an action movie imo

if They Live doesnt rank on this list but The Thing does, im gonna be mondo pissed

xpost And then it blows up!

They Live is the perfect example of an action movie that's not really an action movie save the epic extended bit of action which is one of the greatest action bits of all time.

But Escape from NY is better.

If Jaws can place in this poll then so can The fucking Thing.

pretty sure The Fucking Thing is a wholly different movie

The fight between friends in They Live is so fucking awesome

Jaws, the list outlier that fucks everything up.

they live has chase scenes and shootouts! its way more of an action movie than The Thing, which mostly just has brief bursts of horror violence

watched robocop last night... I don't think it has aged well

so, so offtm

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, February 17, 2012 10:34 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

More relevant today than ever, probably.

― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, February 17, 2012 10:34 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

robocop to me is one of the "best-aged" scifi/action movies i can think of

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Friday, February 17, 2012 10:34 AM

I dunno, the satirical touches are the most successful elements but everything else aesthetically hit me as kind of blah, had a hard time getting to the end frankly. back in the day it seemed like some slick thrill-a-minute rollercoaster.

flesh & blood, the movie he made before robocop, looks absolutely incredible, btw. great cinematography by jan de bont. prefer it to robocop any day of the week. hating on robocop is prolly a minority position anyway so...

battle royale: yessss
the thing: waht

Fuck yeah, Point Break. This will probably be the most relieved I will be to see a movie post that I didn't vote for.

hope you guys voted for alien and planet of the apes in the action adventure movie poll too

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/12304045985t78.gif

Just had a look at the noms thread, and I didn't participate so I can't really say anything, but I'm sorta surprised Buckaroo Bonzai didn't get nommed. Not that I think I would get this high, but I could have seen it placing in the lower numbers.

dying @ kerry gif

if the thing is an action movie, so is The Third Man

I had a compelling urge to watch the beginning of the thing on youtube the other day, it was dope

what about scanners? there are chases and gun battles, they even crash a van into a record store! action!

tracer otm

when I watched 'the thing' I don't remember it being that tension driven ... it's basically kurt russell with a flamethrower, an alien that eats your head

Given the number of dudes of a certainage voting in this, it's hard for me to imagine Top Gun not placing. I remember thinking bleh, but that was after years of getting the vibe that it was the kind of movie assholes liked. Of course, that's probably true of First Blood, which I eventually saw and was all fuck yeah. Wait, that's probably true of most of these movies.

I would have strongly considered voting for Scanners, tbh

eXistenZ :D

I voted for Top Gun, more movies need jet dogfights

if a movie has a jet dogfight I will watch it why because target lock

My work has filters. Did someone post an awesome gif of some heads being scanned?

http://fancoredaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/philadelphia-experiment-packshot.jpg

I probably would have voted for this if I had remembered to tbh

I am pro target lock. Love dogfights, but Pearl Harbor. WOOF amiright?

Pearl Harbor is the WORST FUCKING MOVIE

The Thing could poll as a musical and it would still be awesome

Beardo Kurt is awesome, the practical effects are still killer, and I hope that one day they release the MacReady tape, revealing his drunken late night karaoke version of Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)

Have we made it this far without war movie=action movie? No war movies yet, right?

http://i.imgur.com/6ISds.jpg

hurt locker placed xp

Yeah, almost walked out of the theatre because Pearl harbor was so long, but instead I fell asleep. It was a little expensive for a nap.