Has ILE become too pally?

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--it's excessive flattery and effusive sentiment that doesn't seem to have much basis.

And how are you determining what is excessive?
I call bullshit on your economy of emotions, but, to each his own.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:20 (twenty years ago) link

"Bullshit"?

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:21 (twenty years ago) link

TS: Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing vs. An Affair to Remember

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:22 (twenty years ago) link

Oops do you actually read my posts or do you simply object to them a priori?

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:23 (twenty years ago) link

I am enjoying seeing someone with don'temailmebitch@hotmail.com as their email address stick up for internet community spirit.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:23 (twenty years ago) link

yes, i read your posts. what makes you think i didn't? I mean, I sort of agree w/what you said, I just don't think your RL example was reflective of what happens on ILE.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

I know a woman, she's a friend of my mother's, and at get-togethers she inevitably gives a toast in which she rambles on and on about how much she loves everyone, how special everyone is, how beautiful and smart and etc.. Most people are rather embarrassed for her, for her toasts seems to be less about actually loving anyone (although I'm sure it is not *dishonest* per se) as her needing to feel a part of something, soak in emotion. (Said person all attends funerals of people she hardly knows and cries profusely, and calls up dying friends 10 times a day to see if she can "help," over the objections of said friend's husband.)

Ha! I used to know someone like this. Opinions were split among mutual acquaintances -- her friends obv thought she was the ginchiest loveliest most generous person evah because she flattered them so and was always "there" and was very vocal about her there-ness, making sure everyone was 100% aware how full of 24/7/365 concern and sympathy and YOU ROCK and today's-your-birthday-isn't-it she was, while other people just found her really flaky and shallow and disingenuous. People like her have made me wary of all manner of compliments and excessive good will, because I always have to wonder about the person's motives and/or sincerity. I do sometimes see behavior on ILX that reminds me of hers... I'm not sure how to react to it, really. The people I care about know that I care about them, and if they need me I'm here and willing to help, but I refuse to launch a million-dollar campaign to elect myself Humanitarian of the Year. So if I'm noticeably quiet about these things, that's why.

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:47 (twenty years ago) link

Amateurist, you ARE suggesting the statements of strong feelings are false, by your view that expressing such things willy nilly diminishes them. I am certainly not doing anything of the kind, and I don't see many people expressing strong positive feelings towards people here much more than I do. I'm not asking you to like it, but you have zero basis for implying it is in any way not real and carefully pitched to be honest and true. I can't speak for everyone else, and there may be people saying things they don't mean, but from private conversations and the kind of reactions I have received when bad things have happened, I'd say most people are expressing things truthfully and proportionately.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:50 (twenty years ago) link

Amateurist, you ARE suggesting the statements of strong feelings are false, by your view that expressing such things willy nilly diminishes them

I don't think this logically valid, Martin. They could be true to the person who makes them, no matter how often they do it, but still diminish the force of sympathy by their ubiquity. A kind of converse of compassion fatigue.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 19:53 (twenty years ago) link

Ah, you don't even believe that, Nick. Amateurist said "if you go around expressing them in the most enthusiastic terms willy-nilly" - this implies that they are being expressed more strongly (probably a lot more, or the game is not worth the candle) than they are felt. Amateurist clearly thinks that many people are expressing far more than they genuinely feel. Obviously I can't tell him he's always wrong, and I don't even suppose he is, always, but I still object to his implication that when I tell someone I care a lot about how they feel, that I probably don't really mean it. I know he isn't naming me at all, but as I said I think I express these things as often and effusively as just about anyone, so I think I'm a decent example.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 July 2003 21:41 (twenty years ago) link

I just wish people would provide specific example of whatever annoys them so. grow some balls. ante up.

― James Blount (James Blount), Saturday, 19 July 2003 21:45 (twenty years ago) link

It's not really a case of what I believe, Martin - I was just saying that the one doesn't necessarily follow from the other, even if it is suggestive of it. As for Amateurist's real position, can't you just accept it when he unambiguously states (in the same post as the one you quote from):

From my first post here I said only that I myself "balk" at these effusions, not that anyone was being insincere or dishonest ("faking it"), nor that anyone should have to stop them on my behalf.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 21:48 (twenty years ago) link

I could if it fit with anything else he said - and anyway even in that statement the word 'effusions' still implies that the feelings are being overstated.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 July 2003 21:59 (twenty years ago) link

Effusions just means they are given liberally. Some people are just very emo!

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 July 2003 22:45 (twenty years ago) link

amateurist, I love you, man.

― Al Andalous, Saturday, 19 July 2003 22:56 (twenty years ago) link

i'm with martin skidmore on this issue.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 19 July 2003 23:45 (twenty years ago) link

To clarify a bit -- I'm not actually attacking anyone here, even though I said I observed certain qualities among the ILX posting body that reminded me of the woman I described upthread. This is my issue, I guess, that a few seemingly insincere people in my life have made me distrustful of EVERYONE'S intentions. But it's important to have some kind of bullshit radar with these things; if you're naive, you risk getting fucked over or hurt. Where is the line drawn?

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 July 2003 02:31 (twenty years ago) link

wak-wak-wak-wak-wow-wow-yik-yakakakaka-kow!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 20 July 2003 02:43 (twenty years ago) link

*snort*

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 July 2003 03:34 (twenty years ago) link

What I have noticed:
People post about their lives on ILE.
Am I allowed to post about MY life on ILE?
If the answer is no, then ILE has become too pally.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:36 (twenty years ago) link

this muhfuh's become too pale-y I'll tell you that - you seem them fap photos: get some sun people!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:40 (twenty years ago) link

You can say pretty much whatever the fuck you want to say, Orbit. Just don't threaten violence against anyone, ok? We don't have to pay any attention, or we may choose to, it's up to us. I have no right to do so, but could I make one suggestion? Could you try not to shout so much? Thank you.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:40 (twenty years ago) link

I don't shout that much. What are you talking about? I don't shout any more or less than anyone else!

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:43 (twenty years ago) link

YES YOU DO!!!

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:46 (twenty years ago) link

actually I have no idea whether you do or not, that was just too easy

― James Blount (James Blount), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:46 (twenty years ago) link

Well I don't shout any more than anyone else
. But I'm not offended by the joke. ;-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:48 (twenty years ago) link

You shout a fair bit on your own threads, but I guess that's your right, sort of. Actually, go ahead and shout! I like it, come to think of it.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:52 (twenty years ago) link

Just some points of fact:
I haven't made very many threads. Only one thread: ATTACK was a shout and the whole thread was a shout by everyone because that was the point of the thread. Other than ATTACK I have never made an all-caps thread nor have I posted all-caps to someone else's thread.

If you look at the thread list, I'm not shouting any more than anyone else.

Perhaps because at the start of two threads I said: GO! GO! ?
That's pretty trvial. But I'm not worried about it. I will in the future say Go. Go.
You will then be happy.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 05:59 (twenty years ago) link

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I honestly do enjoy the shouting. I wasn't being sarcastic! Please, Orbit, accept my apologies.

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:01 (twenty years ago) link

No offense taken. My reply was also sincere, no offense intended. ;)

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:02 (twenty years ago) link

OH NO! NOT THE WINKY!!! I CAN'T BEAR THE WINKY!!! Um... ;-)

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:03 (twenty years ago) link

Embrace emoticon love.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:05 (twenty years ago) link

Hi Ned! (or was that too pally?)

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:06 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, I believe I will. :-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:07 (twenty years ago) link

Hello everyone! Yay everything! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:08 (twenty years ago) link

YAY!!! It's a good ol' late night ILE circle jerk! PASS THE LOTION!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:11 (twenty years ago) link

Hooray for the Western Hemisphere! The rockin'-est continent around!

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:11 (twenty years ago) link

YAY!!! It's a good ol' late night ILE circle jerk! PASS THE LOTION!
-- Bryan (bryan...), July 20th, 2003. (Bryan)

erm. that might be a little difficult on this end....

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:14 (twenty years ago) link

I'm sure we could work something out! Or maybe I could just shut my fucking pie hole!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:18 (twenty years ago) link

Lol. I'm just not sure how a female circle-jerking would work--lotion is *definitely* out. I think you might have to mail me a strap-on.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:19 (twenty years ago) link

How drunk do you have to be to call the Western Hemisphere a continent?

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:25 (twenty years ago) link

Canadian drunk! Millar drunk! Pretty fucking drunk!
I told you we could work something out, Orbit!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:26 (twenty years ago) link

Shit! Is that what circle jerk means? I always thought it was badass guys who ride motorbikes.

Stop corrupting me ILE!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 08:42 (twenty years ago) link

Was the band Circle Jerks or Cycle Jerks? I'm convinced it was Cycle Jerks.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 08:48 (twenty years ago) link

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre600/e625/e62520eusx4.jpg

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:06 (twenty years ago) link

Orbit we don't know you from shit. Give us time before you call us "pally". Most of us have been posting here for 2+ years. You've been here like what, 2 weeks? It takes time, honey.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:13 (twenty years ago) link

Cor you lot are so paranoid! This is grebt. I must get gAIM working so I can get all the backstories to this. I for example, find all the NYC-ers talk impenetrable, so either I ignore it or make something entertaining up...

Perhaps the NYC-ers could explain some of their injokes to us? I shall try to explain a London injoke in turn except that all I ever joke about these days is linux and Dr Who eg GOT A LIGHT? NO MATCH ahahhahahahahaha.

― Sarah (starry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:25 (twenty years ago) link

i get the majority of the ILXNYC0R injokes and I live in TX, WTF?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:31 (twenty years ago) link

I guess you talk to them on AIM? Or you met up or something? Also Americans have a common language of syrup on pork products and stuff that mean there is already a bond which us over the pond with our pork products and tomato ketchup will never understand.

― Sarah (starry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:45 (twenty years ago) link

Sarah, if there's something you don't understand and would like to know please ask -- I'm sure the result will be as disappointing as Tottenham Geezers Swan Kiosk but the NYC crew would be happy to explain nevertheless.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:37 (twenty years ago) link

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