Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

'can you do this for me, i'm not good on computers?'

Look, mrs, you've been collecting a higher wage than me for twice as long as me in your current position. As far as the work you're using it for goes, Excel hasn't moved on light-years in that time. You've had entire paid weeks off to learn how to use microsoft office, for fuck's sake. This is a basic function of your job. I'd humbly suggest that you 'get' good at computers, fuck off, and leave me alone to do the work of people that aren't actually here. Dig?

Opportunities like that are pure office gold though.

"You want me to...do your work for you? Because you're not good at it?"

i'm am too nice for that, and tbf so is the other person in question, but i'm ..... under pressure atm and hey this thread exists y'know

suggest gently that the person is shitting in your bathroom

suggest ... bran?

ZING!!!

I'd be going to my boss (or hers) and saying "why is this lady asking me to do/help her with her work, idgi, she seems v confsed?" all innocent like.

everyone else in ireland is on leave or something iirc

Theyre all over here working tbh!

are they taking our jerbs trayce

ya it's just me and her and the president holding the fort iirc, everyone else is in canada or aus tekkin their jebs

I hate when I promise to have something to the leader of my project (and our client) by a certain day by the end of business. And one day before that deadline, I remind the project lead that as promised, it will be delivered, but I am sure to clarify that it will be closer to late afternoon (because it's a lot of work). And despite this, I still get pings and "where is it" emails and messages at like mid-day, which seriously slow me down for an hour or so. And I deliver as promised in the end, but I feel like everyone's acting like I turned it in late when I turned it in when I said I was going to!

Not technically about a co-worker, but close enough.

In December the building where I work had its elevator replaced, which left us without an elevator for 2.5 weeks.

The tenant in the suite next door to us is a creepy, low-rent ambulance chasing attorney with mobility problems that would prevent him from walking up 6 floors to his office. His landlord, a friend of my boss', went above and beyond in making accommodations by renting him a first-floor office, paying to have his phones re-routed to that office, and even waiving rent for the entire month of December.

Today my boss told me that the landlord also offered to buy the chaser and his whole staff lunch from various local cafes during the 2.5 week elevator outage because they would have to lug files up and down the stairs.

She said that his response was, quote: "No, fuck them, just pay me whatever you were planning on spending for lunch."

. . . and the landlord said?

My boss didn't get his exact response (?!) buy he took the lunch offer off the table.

my God. I go in this morning ready to attend a web-based training session about a program that I'm going to be using in training next week. We've talked about this for weeks. I couldn't be on site (as it is out of state), and I was told I could choose from Wed, Thurs, or Fri, and I picked today.

I show up, wait 30 minutes on hold, and it is clear that nobody is going to start the conference call. I ask one of the people in the on-site training room, who explains that the training has already begun, and there is no virtual training today, and that she is looking to have the leader schedule virtual training the next day.

I go to the project lead (same one I bitched about yesterday) and I ask her what is up, and instead of her following up, she asks me to go settle it with the other lady. Who comes back and says the dude can't do virtual training tomorrow after all, but can I read through his powerpoint and learn that way.

It's clear this project lead did not communicate with the other manager AT ALL, and just assumed there would be web-based training set up today. It's her job to be on top of all these things and she never is. it kills me as this is a tough project, and pretty much everybody is pulling their weight, but because she isn't doing her job and leading the project, things are slipping through the cracks. Her mentor has had to pull her aside and give her emergency coaching twice already.

Tomorrow I am going to have to draft a "What I need from you" message and basically tell her I need her to step up, or I can't do my job. Her mentor has encouraged me to do it anyway.

I love my job at the moment. It's just this one person who's making it all wonky. And she's not mean or nasty or anything. I just don't think she's cut out for the role.

Hey, guys, when you set me up to interview a woman about her husband's health problems for your internal newsletter, thanks for not warning me beforehand that her husband was actually now dead of said health problems. That wasn't embarrassing at all.

Know what was fun this week? Working with a bunch of Boomer ladies who grew up with pictures of Davy Jones taped on their bedroom walls.

Ok that's twice this week someone has mentioned Davy Jones, so I Googled him and he means nothing to me except that I have heard of The Monkees.

BJOD and JM, I feel for you.

lol jesse he DIED this week!!

Basically totes crazy co-worker is on extended FMLA, thank god. her baseline behavior was to plant herself (legs apart, arms folded) in front of whoever she wanted to speak to and explain whatever was on her mind in great detail, taking care to repeat anything that was said back to her. We work with mentally ill clients and she's pretty much been more trouble than all but a few of the clients.

unfortunately her being on leave means that her shifts often get filled by an on-call employee who will monologue endlessly about a) coach bags, b) her various expensive gadgets that she can't actually afford, or c) her fucked-up childhood and family (which sounds awful but she shares deeply personal details within hours of meeting co-workers).

So I have a legitimate reason to bitch about my stupid, annoying ex-coworker. He quit about a month ago to go to another firm and we discovered today that he severely fucked up the construction drawings for a project currently being built. Enough so that the project had to be put on hold while we fix it. Eight of us now have to work all weekend and evenings until we fix his fuck-ups.

is the project a giant microwave popcorn bag?

smh

yikes jon, that sucks. nothing worse that when they leave a mess in their wake and there's nothing you can do to them.

Okay our new interior designer is either a) a future SNL character in development stages, b) straight up irl trollin', or c) really crazy. She is a dead ringer for Bjork when she talks and is just overboard as hell in everything she says.

Two examples just from today:
Someone left a paper for her on my desk, so I took it over to her and she said, "Oh thank you, you are an exteremely kind and generous person to bring this majestic paper to me. Such a wonderful, happy thing". I shit you not, this is fucking verbatim.

I overhear her on the phone talking to a client saying, "Yes it has made my day full of joy and glory to be able to speak with you and get to know you. I know our working together will be fruitful and will make us both majestic."

I keep waiting for the hidden camera reveal.

Jesus. I wonder if she is into some of this sort of stuff ❀ the cult of: ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥AWESOMENESS FEST

i wish i could be made majestic

Have jvc bring you a sheet of paper.

Maybe I just bring majesty into everything I do?

Haha I thought of that thread the first time I met her, maybe when I build up my tolerance a little I will broach the topic and bring new insight to that thread.

I seriously am excited about this prospect.

Is she ESL? Or just nuts?

Well, I'm pretty sure she is ESL but it genuinely doesn't feel like just wrong word choice, she is just really exuberant about the tiniest things.

She's Elvish!

Yes! That one crossed my mind too, she is definitely pixie-ish.

I work with a dude who starts every request with "in principle" and then gets out of the said request. I don't need an pathetic excuse, I need a yes or no. Fucktard.

posted this in the chicago thread by accident:

So tired of people not being able to get their shit together. We were supposed to be practicing for an interview for a new project today and as of last night, we were told to get here early today to start practicing. Got in at 6:45 this morning and finally heard at 8:15 by the partner in charge of the interview that "something came up" and the practice was delayed. Same thing was emailed at 9:30 and 10:45. Now we were just told that we would be starting practice at 5:45 tonight, "so make whatever arrangements you need to be able to stay really late tonight". Yes because its always easy for everyone to completely rejuggle their lives because you are a horrible planner and completely unable to prioritize.

I'd suggest that "whatever arrangements" involves "you're providing dinner, boss."

That remains to be seen, but I sure as hell know he's not covering the cost of the babysitter I had to hire last minute. Nor, y'know, getting equivalent time off to spend with my son now that this will make 6 straight work days that I've had to stay at work well past his bedtime. All of this to help repair other people's fuckups, mind.

Don't snigger and try to make jokes in an 8am meeting introducing upcoming job losses in our department, you utter fuckwit.

Fuck this shithole.

The really really annoying one is on his way out.

Although who knows what his replacement will be like.

So that nutty security guard who washes her keys? I'm walking down the hall today and she stops me to express surprise and pleasure that I'm wearing a skirt (fact: I wear skirts or dresses ~90% of the time), tells me I should wear skirts more often (like, in the shower?) and then caps it with, "I wish I had big legs like that."

Doesn't everybody, though?

Wow. In case it wasn't mentioned earlier, this security guard washes her bags of chips in the nasty public bathroom sink.

wait, waht

She buys bags of chips from the vending machine.
She takes the chips into the bathroom and washes the exterior of the bags with soap and water before she opens them.

Once as I was leaving the bathroom behind her she turned around and went back in muttering, "I forgot to wash my keys."

She puts newspaper down before she sits on chairs. All chairs, including the one she exclusively occupies.

That all makes her sound too sympathetic. I mean, I don't wish her any ill but her weirdness extends far, far beyond potential OCD behaviors. Like, I could write you a ten page treatise on her wig choices alone.

She's wearing this long, straight wig today that is mostly notable for being constantly cock-eyed, but my favorite is her long, curly red hooker wig. She's a church going grandmother, btw, who endlessly sings hymns in the bathroom. In her curly hooker fetish store wig.

Oh she also always wears two pairs of pants and starts the process of unfastening them in the very public hallway outside the bathroom.

And she does some weird chinchilla dust bath thing with dry paper towels in the accessible stall where she'll take two huge piles of tri-fold paper towels from the dispenser into the stall and do go knows what but its like nonstop paper rustling and hymn singing for at least ten straight minutes.

I mentioned she's the security guard, right?

Once a very very old coworker of mine collapsed in the bathroom and I found her and called the security guard and told her to dial the emergency number for our building and she proceeded to run back and forth across the bathroom threshold calling "JESUS CHRIST! OH JESUS!" and was still helpfully engaging in hysterical prayer when somebody else came along to keep an eye on the collapsed woman and I could go call the emergency number myself.

I think she needs her own thread.

Sales boss and sales person currently having shouting match in closed door office, which we can all notice. Overheard snippet of "you're always like this, you have a go at me EVERY SINGLE DAY"... can't blame the guy tbh. Said boss is a snide, rude, unfunny "dry-humoured" English asshole.