Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Not for Kinko's or a print department certainly...

Maybe I overwork our all-in-one machine (Konica Bizhub 350) but we regularly do multi-hundred page print jobs without a problem and we're just a small firm (5 people in the office).

lol just started thinking "we're just an unfrozen caveman law firm....."

We've had someone hot-desking with us recently who spent this morning running off 15 copies of an 800-page document.

How about 12,000?

Oh, now 800 x 15 is a big deal.

I would be blowing a fucking gasket if that happened in my office. I would have blown a fucking gasket even when I worked at a quick-copy shop and that happened without alerting everyone else who relied on that machine.

The firm I work for has two offices and the support staff works mostly in our other, small-town office and that support staff is largely incompetent.

One of the legal assistants/secretary refuses to CC partners re major cases unless she is very explicitly instructed to do so, even though every week she is instructed to *ALWAYS* err on the side of inclusion.

One of our clients is being sued in a class action and today we discovered that she hadn't been emailing copies of court papers to the partner who is responsible for the case. She was only emailing the president of the firm, who is an airhead and didn't notice the omission.

Her excuse today: "Well sometimes when I CC him, he asks me "What is this for?"

This isn't even the dummy who sends out bizarre, tpyo-ridden, dada emails. She's the "good" one.

Her excuse today: "Well sometimes when I CC him, he asks me "What is this for?"

tbf, this would make me un-cc somebody pretty fuckin sharpish

When our attorneys are out of the office, they prefer the secretaries to email them phone messages and they hate voice mail b/c it could sit there all day, but emails are instant. The "good" secretary said to me, condescendingly, "Jesse. I'm not going to tell them, 'NO, I'm not going to let you leave a voice mail.'"

Apparently she only knows how to say "Okay," or treat a caller like shit.

xp - But the thing is, the only reason he has to ask that is b/c she didn't say in her email "The attached is ____, which we received from ____." She will just send a document w/ no explanation of why anyone might care. OF COURSE he's going to ask "WTF is this random thing you sent me?"

as always, life is more complex than we had first thought -_-

Yeh, I mean the context here is that she's infamous for being kind of bullheaded.

just for instance, gimme a ballpark figure of what these ppl earn, i wanna compare

Who? The Bad People? I honestly don't know, but I'm guessing ~$38K, which would be not too bad for their positions where they live. Especially in their job market. That's a guess though.

yeah i suppose i'd need to take local issues into account for a true comparison, i mean i could buy the house i live in atm for 90k tbf

why are fuckers completely unable to stop fucking coughing on a conference call? it's been three fucking weeks ffs.

If I was on a conference call for three weeks, I'd probably start coughing, too.

On mute unless you're talking is standard on telecon's, no? Coughing through it is some stupid annoying co-worker shit.

I'm patient for chronic coughers (one colleague has asthma...I swear it never annoys me but others have complained about it). You can, however, excuse yourself to get a drink of water. Unless you have a really authoritarian boss.

Someone is lighting matches in the bathroom, which makes it smell like burned hair. But then again, if something is bad enough to warrant lighting a match, perhaps that smell is better than the alternative.

I do wish someone hadn't pooped on the toilet set in the fourth stall on the right.

why are fuckers completely unable to stop fucking coughing on a conference call?

i might have said this before, but on really boring conference calls I have opened up a sound search engine online and played random sounds (lion roaring, horror movie screams, plane crashes) into the phone during the really dull bits when everyone talks at once. makes them all shut up

Hahaha I wish I had the balls to do that.

I hate when people drop by at 8:00 AM just because they happened to see me arrive early! We have a semi-flexible schedule - we can use the office as long as the building is open (7 AM-7 PM). Official hours are 9-5, though. I hate when people drop by at 8:00 AM just because they saw me arrive at work early!

HOW DARE THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU?! or does "drop by" mean something horrible?

I don't mean "talk" to me, I mean dropping by on official business.

isn't that..... why you're at work?

Um, no...I don't work a public service position so I'm not obligated to be available to people at all times. I'm an executive assistant. 8 AM interruptions aren't kosher where I work, in fact they are technically verboten according to the employees manual.

So tell 'em to come back at 8!

sorry, i guess i don't understand the byways of how your job works

Boss: Is this spelled right? (word is "alleging")
Me: Yes.
B: Are you sure? That doesn't look right.
Me: No, it's correct. There are two Ls.
B (sort of to himself): I before E except after C
Me (thinking he's being funny): ...and sometimes Y.
B: Are you sure there isn't an E after the g?
Me: What?
B: Shouldn't it be a-l-l-e-g-e-i-n-g?
Me: No.
B: Are you sure?
Me: Drop the E, add -ing.
B: Well, okay. Are you sure?
Me: *submits resignation*

so i'm leaving in a week and my desk is a bombsite. I've been told i'm expected to clear it, but some of these files have had little baby files and formed complex hierarchical societies in the nether reaches, they've been there so long. My replacement arrives monday, i'm to train her too. And, while i've been told that i can turn the phone off and ignore email, other day-to-day stuff keeps landing whenever i do manage to clear an inch of pine laminate.

I'm not even getting annoyed, friday evening's gonna come around whether the desk is a plateau or a peak, but i'm a little .....'really?......' whenever it's mentioned at this stage.

Hah! I remember those annoyances well when I left my last job. My boss worked from home one day, came in the next with five pages of notes for me to type. She had her goddamned LAPTOP with her at home! Why even write on paper? I had 4 days left and was maybe 10% done training my replacement. So I called in sick the next day :P

Is there a word for that noise people when they capture flobber in their mouth just before spitting it out? He does that constantly. Without the spitting obv. That wouldn't be appropriate in an office.

Also - microwaving cheap ass chicken thighs and barbecue sauce every day for the last three weeks NAGL. Have some variation in your diet ffs. And don't eat it at your desk if it smells like an abattoir on a sunny day. Urgh. I'm supposed to be mentoring this guy and he's just making me hate him.

carl agatha, i went through something similar where my supervisor refused to believe that i was correctly informed. our web content management system is pretty rigid and doesn't support pinning things to the top of our webpage -- you have to do it by manipulating the dates of the posts, and even though i told him multiple times we couldn't do it any other way than manipulating the dates, he told me to check with my colleague. i checked with her & she said we can't do it. so i emailed him to let him know, and then at a meeting about something else, he asks both of us again! And we again both say no. And then after we were talking about something else, he said AGAIN, well, didn't we do it for this one thing?

we were both like "no!!"

he's also asked me a million times to make sure google analytics captures everything and that we continue to capture data. we have analytics on the site now! please stop asking me after every thing that we post, 'so analytics will capture this, right?" (even though i have already told him that it will capture data from now until the end of time, or at least until we disable it.)

B (sort of to himself): I before E except after C

LOL?

my boss wanted me to fix his daughters macbook air for her.

she has over 1200 apps synced to it :O

Is there a word for that noise people when they capture flobber in their mouth just before spitting it out? He does that constantly. Without the spitting obv. That wouldn't be appropriate in an office.

― kraudive, Thursday, March 22, 2012 5:48 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The hawk in the band name hawkwind was supposed to come from Nik Turner's habit of doing that very thing. Not sure if it's a common term for it but it is very onomatopaeic. The wind bit was cos he farted a lot apparently.

i think you just ruined hawkwind for me? bummer.

"hork" i thought was the term.

IME loogies are "hawked"

I associate "hork" w/ puke-related sounds.

nah I always spelt snotty boggery things as horks, too.

Tho I guess ive seen it used for puke as well ("WHO SMELLS LIKE FREAKIN PORPOISE HORK!?")

boggery? BOOGERY.

O_o porpoise hork o_O

Hock for loogies, hork for puke.

Closing up the business last night when two men arrived at 9pm, "oh didn't anyone tell you, we're here to clean the floor, it will probably take an hour, maybe two" - no choice but to stay.

Is porpoise puke a thing? That you've actually smelled?

As I do at least once a week, I am explaining to one of the partners how to "do that thing [I] do where you look at files without opening a program" (i.e., how to use Windows Explorer), how to Select All, and how to Cut and how to Paste.

Hehehe. Coworker was off yesterday, got engaged, got a manicure before she came back to work today so that she could show it off properly!

My manager (God love her): "I'm in a Kate Hudson movie. Pls kill me."

gonna kill the dude who keeps sniffling every 10 seconds

blow your nose, fucker

sniffing every 10 - or blowing/honking every 60. you're in a no win.