Dear X, blah blah blah. Love, Z

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Dear beloved college,

Your bookstore hours are ridiculous for a school that has a lot of weekend and evening students. It's really causing trouble for a lot of people. Would it be that hard to stay open until 5:30 pm, or even 5 pm?

Love,
Sara R-C

P.S. Your profs seem to be uniformly awesome.

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 13:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear people I will be having an interview with tomorrow,

Please take me into your school. I've messed up enough interview already, worked hard for this one, so please be cool and pick me. I promise you I will be as good as possible during the 2-3 years i'll spend there

Love
Jibe

― Jibe, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 13:14 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Jibe,

Good luck with your interview!

Sincerely,
Sara R-C

― Sara R-C, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 13:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Abbott,

You're so welcome! I meant to put a note in there - that weird little black thing, with all the parts? It's a corkscrew. And it is too awesome that you used the blowtorch!

Hooray for ILX-style freecycling :)

yr friend in patisserie,

Jaq

― Jaq, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 13:43 (seventeen years ago) link

DEAREST SNOW:

yeah no srsly. confine yourself to ski hills or whatever. allow the rest of us to commute without scraping our cars and later to frolic in some fucking springtime, ok?

best,

gff

― gff, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 13:46 (seventeen years ago) link

dear philadelphia:
why the fuck you so schizo in spring?
love
t

ALSO:
dear parents:
why did you not settle someplace warm, exciting, or both?
love
your son

― the table is the table, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear blues,

Don't you know that I have ended our friendship? Please go away before I kick you in the balls.

xo
MsMisery-only-in-name

― Ms Misery, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 15:41 (seventeen years ago) link

dear drunk max,

learn to cut yourself off after six drinks, you utter fucking asshole.

yrs,
hungover max

― max, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 18:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear sick leave & annual leave,

You are the only good things about being employed full time. Thank youz for being youz.

Love

M

― Drooone, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear impending five-day weekend,

Impend quicker, damn you.

In anticipation
Lex

― lex pretend, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Lex,

I hear you. TONIGHT WE DRINK!

Bottoms up
HLA

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear 2.5 day weekend,

I will love and cherish you like you were five days. Eagerly yours,

Jordan

― Jordan, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:33 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/2007Azaleas2.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/WilliamCrump63/2007Azaleas1.jpg

Dear Record Low Temperatures Forecast for This Weekend,

Please don't hurt us!

Love,
Rock Hardy's Azaleas

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Rock Hardy's Azaleas,

Pleaze don't hurt me.

yours,
Aaron

― wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Dad,

Thanks for playing me Dave Brubeck and Coltrane and B.B. King when I was a kid. I can't remember a time when I didn't love jazz or blues, and how many 20 year olds can say that?

with headphones,

justin

p.s. i forgive you for the clapton & david sanborn
p.p.s. i know they were really for mom anyway

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 22:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Rock,

It must be kind of cool to live in a place where even the most casual photo snapshot looks like a William Eggleston picture.

From the other side of the ditch,
P. Plains

― Pleasant Plains, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 23:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Aforementioned Neighbors Upstairs Who Stole My Storage Space,

Did you have to pick today, my day off, to pound at the floor with a hammer for 12 consecutive hours?

Yours, fuming,
Mandee

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Aforementioned Neighbors Upstairs Who Stole My Storage Space,

For right now I will just drown out your pounding by blasting The Last Unicorm soundtrack. And someday I will get my revenge by poking at the ceiling with a broomstick, and/or throwing a plugged-in toaster at you while you take a bath.

Yup,
Mandee

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 23:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Clock:

I have been watching you faithfully all freakin' day, and would it really be so much to ask that you hurry the next half hour up a little so I can blow this popsicle stand and go home and have many beers?

Yours watching the minute hand,

luna

― luna, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear luna,

If I worked near you I would come and kidnap you and go for beers with you right now - fuck work.

But we gonna have beers soon anyway, you better believe it.

kisses,
Trayce

― Trayce, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Irritating Boss:

The day would not have seemed quite so long had you not called me every thiry seven seconds to see what I'm doing now. I'm working on the giant pile of stuff you left on my desk yesterday while I was off (sneaky bitch! you know I'd never stand for this were I in the office) and it would really mean a lot to me if you could put your cell phone down for five minutes to give me room to breathe. Also, perhaps - and this is just one of those wacky ideas I have sometimes - perhaps if you stop calling me every thirty seven seconds, I might be able to GET SOME OF THIS SHIT DONE, YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!

Yours until I win the lottery or at least find a better job,

luna

― luna, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Trayce,

There is little I would enjoy more than that. Bring on the beers and the dancing boys!

Love,

luna

― luna, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear hungry stomach,

Patience. I'm pondering what to cook.

Yours
Your owner

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear P. Plains,

It is, pretty much. I'm starting to fall in love with this house, even the run-down parts and the skwerls in the attic. And the flowers are just krazy kool every spring.

Ankle deep in the little muddy,
RH

― Rock Hardy, Thursday, 5 April 2007 00:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear life,

Kindly stop spinning out of control. I am not good at anything except sitting here dumbstruck and watching it all happen, so you're kinda on your own.

Love,
Curtis

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 5 April 2007 01:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear slight funk I am in,

You'll pass. Eventually you'll return but I don't worry about it much, I know people who have it far worse.

Yers
Ned

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 April 2007 01:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear... someone.

Sorry.

sigh,
Trayce the stupid idiot.

― Trayce, Thursday, 5 April 2007 02:37 (seventeen years ago) link

dear jerry's records in pittsburgh,
please yield many disco-funk and house classics for me tomorrow, or else i would have come to this town for nothing.

love,
the table

― the table is the table, Thursday, 5 April 2007 02:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear universe,

Thanks, babe. Luv ya.

Matt C.

― Dimension 5ive, Thursday, 5 April 2007 02:52 (seventeen years ago) link

dear literature review due tomorrow for group project: can you please write yourself while i take a nap?

xoxo,
gb

― get bent, Thursday, 5 April 2007 02:53 (seventeen years ago) link

dear the pastrami sandwiches and matzoh ball soup at langer's: you are the sunshine of my life.

― get bent, Thursday, 5 April 2007 02:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Lost Thread,
I have to distract myself for at least one half hour before i read you.
Thinking of you fondly,

― aimurchie, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Professors,
Thank you for getting so behind on the syllabus that you change it all around so I only have one exam and one paper this week. Because I watched LOST instead of studying. I can write a paper about LOST if you want! No? Well, thanks!
Sincerely,

― aimurchie, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:17 (seventeen years ago) link

dear ilm,

I remember like 6 months ago reading comments on ILE saying things like "I used to spend all my time on ILM, but it's too mean/douchey/hipster/snobby now," and further things to that effect. I remember thinking "I will never forsake the glorious haven of angry nerdery that is ILM!" Yet to my surprise, these days ILM is more like a pitstop on my way to checking ILE threads. Sorry dudes.

rolling snap 4ever,

da hoostery of hoosboxin

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:19 (seventeen years ago) link

(I had two exams and two papers before the switcheroo.)

Dear Macy's Gift Card,
Thank you for allowing me to spend just under $100.00 on Origins skin care products. i have $6.73 left.
i am feeling very glamorous.
Please come back on my birthday and next Christmas, as i love you.
xxxooo,
Much Love,

― aimurchie, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link

dear life,

seriously?

thanks,
ally

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:37 (seventeen years ago) link

dear everyone i know, more or less,

cheer up! please! wish i could help you all more, but really all i can offer is an apartment full of booze and old movies.

love,
-alex

― ghost rider, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Can't...reach........DC.....from chair....ugh collapse

― Laurel, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:46 (seventeen years ago) link

;_;

― ghost rider, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:49 (seventeen years ago) link

dear alex,

booze and movies are all a dude needs! wish i was dere.

love,
hoosteen

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 5 April 2007 03:50 (seventeen years ago) link

dear austin (the dude),

I may be about to come into a 12 inch of WC & The Maad Circle's Ain't A Damn Thing Changed. Would you be interested in a tape and/or a CD copy?

on the down low,

hoosteen

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 5 April 2007 04:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear ghost rider,

Youse a good man, you is. Fret not, all's good.

Yers
The Guy Happy He's Finally Got Some Reviews Finished

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 April 2007 05:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear TV in reception area I am stuck manning,

Hey! Quit it with the gorgeous cooking show! Its is droolworthy and I have not had any lunch! AAARH WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME.

starvingly,
me

― Trayce, Thursday, 5 April 2007 06:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear staring down the barrel of a 5 day weekend,

Yyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

M

― Drooone, Thursday, 5 April 2007 06:11 (seventeen years ago) link

You get tuesday off? Bastard!

― Trayce, Thursday, 5 April 2007 06:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear job interviews

You suck. Just go and ask someone I've worked with before if I'm any good at what I do, rather than asking me. It'd be a lot easier, and a lot more truthful, all round.

Yours nervously,
A x

― ailsa, Thursday, 5 April 2007 07:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear World,

Stop being so lovely and fun looking in the sun when I've got to sit in my office for the next few hours!

Yours hoping the weekend will stay nice and allow me to have picnics and shit.

K

PS. Also plz to get Ailsa that job so she can buy beerz and ting on the 21st!

― kv_nol, Thursday, 5 April 2007 08:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear girl next to me on the 149 into work whose headphones were turned up so loud that I COULD HEAR THE "MUSIC" DISTORTING,

What the fucking fuck? Are you really so deaf that you may as well strap a fucking speaker to each ear? Plz to be aware that you pissed me off so much that I got off four stops early and WALKED. Also plz to get some shure IEMs and a decent taste in music, you inconsiderate retard.

Love and hugs,

Pete.

― peteR, Thursday, 5 April 2007 08:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Ailsa,
Good luck! Interviews are necessary evils.
-Maria

Dear ILX,
It is 4:48 AM by my clock. I am not usually up at this hour, but I've been inefficient with my paper writing and am staying up all night. And ILX seems quite a bit more active than it usually is when I'm awake!
-Maria

― Maria, Thursday, 5 April 2007 08:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Housemates,

It's nice that you're going away for a week on holidays, but did you have to take your holidays two days early so you can hang around at home noisily reminding each other to be quiet because I AM TRYING TO FUCKING WORK, BECAUSE I FUCKING WORK FROM HOME, REMEMBER?????

Also, how many fucking clothes do you have? You bought eight bags of new tops and new skirts for going on this stupid holiday, and you've still managed to turn the washing machine on FOUR TIMES in the last 24 hours.

Man, I am going to enjoy the week that you are away.

Love,

AM

― accentmonkey, Thursday, 5 April 2007 09:14 (seventeen years ago) link

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