I Regret Eating My Placenta

When the baby reaches a certain age, the mother passes the soul to the child.

this is done through the boobs, iirc

Why wouldn't you? Because you can just order pizza or go to taco bell.

sweet hypothesis c, but you are just making shit up that fits

this is all speculative. i admit that. but we can deduce certain things with a reasonable degree of certainty, given what we know of evolutionary dynamics:

if placenta-eating were in any way harmful, there would be no way for it to become widespread in the animal kingdom. evolution would not permit this. nor would evolution so universally select for a behavior with no clear benefit. we can ascertain these things through logic alone. also, since consumption of the not-harmful-and-likely-healthful placenta is so widespread, it's reasonable to think that evolution would in the long run favor the production of a placenta that is worth eating in various ways. none of this is ironclad proof, but nor is it "just making shit up".

Why wouldn't you? Because you can just order pizza or go to taco bell.

lol this is where the discussion gets weird to me bcz ppl are like "how could people eat PLACENTA ooh gross! they should eat totally inedible garbage instead"

like imo if you have eaten at mcdonald's as an adult then you don't really have much to say to people who'd eat placenta, or people who'd swallow tacks, or w/e

like, in the absence of scientific evidence to the contrary, i think simple logic dictates that you should eat the placenta

but i ate a macnugget once, so what do i know?

in the absence of legislation I propose a constitutional amendment requiring all americans to eat placenta

like, in the absence of scientific evidence to the contrary, i think simple logic dictates that you should eat the placenta

― preternatural concepts concerning variances in sound and texture (contenderizer), Monday, April 2, 2012 12:39 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

4 out of 5 yoga instructors agree

life liberty and the pursuit of placenta

Do all domesticated animals eat placentas every time? If it was for other reasons found out in the wild, would domesticated animals still do this? I had a cat that would put stuff in his food bowl to "hide" his food. Someone told me that is what wild cats did. My other cat wouldn't even cover her own poop. No need too, she was safe in a house and knew there were no predators.

Same cat lady told me that cats covering poop had something to do with covering their tracks.

cats covering their poop is just a trend, cats who buck this trend are presently on the cutting edge of catshit fashion

Ha!

what if you combined placenta eating with butt chugging?

if placenta-eating were in any way harmful, there would be no way for it to become widespread in the animal kingdom.

isn't eating one's own poop widespread in the animal kingdom?

i never realised that there was quite so much placenta in a placenta. those people upthread had leftovers, for some reason i always thought placenta was more amuse-bouche quantity

i mean, i thought it'd just be like eating an oyster or something

no no it's a lot of food - "placenta" is actually a Latin contraction of "pluribus" ("from a lot") + "cena" (evening meal)

isn't eating one's own poop widespread in the animal kingdom?

― sarahell, Monday, April 2, 2012 1:35 AM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i meant "so widespread". most mammals eat the placenta, even those that don't eat meat and even if other food is available. like, so far as i know (and correct me if i'm wrong), cow moms will always do this. poop eating is much less common.

from wikipedia, on the idea of health benefits:

The placenta contains high levels of prostaglandin which stimulates involution (an inward curvature or penetration, or, a shrinking or return to a former size) of the uterus, in effect cleaning the uterus out. The placenta also contains small amounts of oxytocin which eases birth stress and causes the smooth muscles around the mammary cells to contract and eject milk.[citation needed]

yeah placentas are huge

my second child was born at home and the placenta (finally) came out and we put it in a bucket

the midwife asked if i wanted to see it better (while my wife was getting cleaned up) and i was like, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity

we took the bucket upstairs, took out the placenta and spread it out on a plastic shopping bag. the midwife had a little tool that she used to show me all the different parts of it. it has an anatomy all its own!

what i never really realized before then is that the blood supply in there is totally separated from the mother's blood supply; there's like a one-way filtration system in place. so if the mother gets some kind of disaease or something, the baby is relatively safe. it's totally amazing

all that said, i would never eat one in about a million years why because i am not a cannibal thnx

tracer your midwife sounds kind of awesome

aero are you kidding me with the latin

hum, according to the oed in classical latin it is actually a kind of cake

the modern german word is Mutterkuchen

101 placenta facts

Yeah they're surprisingly enormous. Google it if you're not too squeamish. Re Tracer saying he'd never I don't actually get why any fathers would. The only reason I can see wanting to do this is because there might be some health benefits and that would only be for the mother. If I was a guy and wanted to show some solidarity or something I'd, i don't know, give the damn thing a hug or something but I don't think I'd have any interest in eating it at all.

have you hugged a placenta today?

Call me crazy but I find a pretty great way to honor the transition from pregnancy to parenthood is recognizing THE HUMAN BEING YOU CREATED.

Oh and not eating it

"healthy boy delivered this morning at 4:32am!! 6 1/2 lbs. he was delicious"

I get the oxytocin element to this but your brain produces oxytocin when you bond with anyone, right ? I mean I really have no memory of eating my moms placenta let alone my dad's, my brothers and sisters, my husband's, my own children's, any of my friend's, my 3 cats and Great Dane's, the silver Jews natural bridge placenta,nor the cast of The Bold and the Beautiful's placentas although lord knows those peeps know how to breed

lol this is where the discussion gets weird to me bcz ppl are like "how could people eat PLACENTA ooh gross! they should eat totally inedible garbage instead"

TBF, I don't think eating placenta is necessarily gross. I'm sure if Rick Bayless or someone seasoned it properly and put it in a taco, I'd devour it right up. I just wouldn't expect anything magical to happen.

I like to tell people that "placenta" was originally pronounced "play center" and that mothers used to put newborns inside of it to hide them from predators.

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/articles/article/21/21195/NIB-Mcdonalds_Playcenter-R_jpg_635x345_crop-smart_upscale_q85.jpg

I tell people that it comes from the same root as the word "pita" and "pizza" and was originally served on flatbread as the main dish in a hearty southern european mid-day meal

rihanna with her new hit song, birthday placenta

placenta centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa centa

"under my um-bi-LIC-al"

I like to tell people that "placenta" was originally pronounced "play center" and that mothers used to put newborns inside of it to hide them from predators.
+Chris Hanson and a plate of homemade cookies just to be extra safe

I insist on calling my birthday my "placentennial" and every year I demand that I be bathed in blood, it's a source of considerable tension within my family

contenderizer not getting science at all, probably not worth contenderizing with him on it.

also, tracer's midwife was awesome as hell

Turns out there is a childbirth class on my floor at work today. Would love to walk in and pretend to be the instructor there to talk about placentophagy just to see the reactions it would get.

throw out the baby, raise the placenta

walk in eating a panini full of suspiciously dark red meaty filling

"i love it when they're still warm"

i regret making that post

The placenta is really amazing though, like how awesome is evolution that every mammal is born with a giant Hot Pocket?

fruity placental croutons