Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

hah bless all you grouches

I try to avoid "bless you" in favor of "gesundheit" (no way! spelled it right first try!!) or "salud." Though sometimes I do say "May Christ bless you and hold you in His tender mercies, now and forevermore, amen," or something similar.

A bus driver on one of my regular routes is really big on blessing everybody and wishing is all a blessed day. Normally I'm just low- to medium-angry at blessed day people but he is a little more forceful about it and it bugs me. Also something about being a captive audience. What does make me IA is that I feel guilty for not saying "You, too!" Don't feel guilty!

Oh man this is like PORN PORN

Dick porn.

There is the train operator who says "This is the blessed train. The blessed train is the best train." and for some reason I'm not upset w/ him.

Gotta say that "bless you" rolls off the tongue a lot easier than Geshundeit (No Guess Found).

My wife is a bit more ambivalent about religion than I am, so forever when she sneezed, I just continued to read my book or whatever. That is, until she complained that I never said "bless you." I asked, what do you care what "a man in the sky" thinks about your sneeze, and her response was still, it was polite to say it.

So now I try to say it after she sneezes. Makes me look bad when I bless the cat's sneeze and not hers.

xp Me, neither! I actually kind of like riding the Blessed Train. I think it's because he rhymes his announcements.

Jeff does not bless sneezers. I do, out of habit and because I fear looking like a jerk. There was a long adjustment period where he would get irked if I blessed him. I still reflexively bless about 5% of his sneezes.

I am one of those Event Sneezers (at least three, often five to seven) so sometimes I feel like Jeff should say something when I'm done, like maybe just ask if I'm okay or if I need anything.

LOL

xp to PP blessing the cat and not the wife

Once or twice I've tried quoting The Exorcist* in response to a sneeze. Results were decent.

*"Let Jesus fuck you!"

I will never say anything in response to a sneeze.

I just want some kind of acknowledgement that I just endured a minor physical trial. Maybe just a "Damn, girl!" Would also accept "Let Jesus fuck you."

Every single time my boss sneezes, she gets pissed off and says "ARGH! I hate sneezing!" and usually apologizes fairly profusely. It's weird!

And then I tell her, "Damn girl, it's OK, let Jesus fuck you!"

How about I say Qapla'

I would much prefer it if when I sneezed people said "The power of Christ compels you!" but no dice.

No lie, I've said to Beeps before while she was pooping.

How about I say Qapla'

I approve.

ARGH. You made me look up a Klingon word.

Don't be such a petaQ.

Go the Seinfeld route and say "You are so good looking"

I've started sometimes saying "Bless You" to my girlfriend when she coughs, blows her nose or yawns. I mostly do it to make her irrationally angry.

Works well for belching, too.

Have a Brian Blessed day!

* farts *

FIVE MINUTES. CAN YOU NOT GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT EATING WHATEVER THAT FUCKING CRUNCHY SHIT IS YOU CONSTANTLY OPEN-MOUTHEDLY CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH ON ALL THE LIVE FUCKING LONG DAY IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

srsly my boss just chain-chews on like, rice crackers or some shit and the little, sharp, constant *scrrrrrchhh ch chhh chh* behind me is JUST loud and annoying enough to set my jaw aflame with tension.

Have you noticed that Walgreens cashiers say "Be well"? I thought it was just at the one by my house, but it's happening all over the city, so it's clearly a corporate thing.

― People aren't for comparing, they are for loving. (Je55e), Monday, April 23, 2012 8:00 AM

lol yes, I thought it was a commentary on my purchase of cheap wine and a candy.

Still spun out by concept of pharmacy selling booze btw

MORE LIKE HARMACY AMIRITE

My first time to Australia, I heard "no worries" in response to everything. Thank you for the delicious espresso-based drink? "No worries." Hold the door for you? "No worries." I'm sorry I destroyed your toaster? "No worries." Certain accents would abbreviate it to a charming "n'arries". Not so bad.

I suppose I do associate Australia with a stress-free lifestyle, and when you hear "no worries" you think, "that's right, I am not at all worried and neither should you be and isn't it a gorgeous day."

Hearing it back in North America, though? Irrational anger. Or at the very least, worries. Are you being sarcastic? There are so many things to worry about.

Heh Ive heard a few people say that. I dont think ive ever heard an american SAY "no worries", it would sound a bit odd.

Walgreen's is more like an expensive, brightly lit convenience store w/a pharmacy in the back.

Several times when I've said "no worries" to people they have asked if I was Australian.

apparently we also get clowned for saying "not too bad" when asked how we are

heh, we say no worries a lot up in Canada.. as well as not too bad(ly)

gah I say "not bad" all the time without even thinking and I sometimes think "man that sounds so wishywashy and pass agg"

"well im NOT BAD but Im NOT GOOD"

I say "no worries" occasionally as well as "not bad".

Man, haven't you non "bless you" saying people ever seen Singles?

no worries bruv

i just say no wucks these days

I use no worries frequently.

lol our parody version of this nice australian girl a friend dated for a bit is just saying "no worries, mate!" and "DON'T BE A PUSSY FINISH YOUR BEER!" at each other. She said both of those a fair bit.

she is otm tbf

hahah yes.

there are the number of amusing stories, including the part where the dude she was in the country visiting had obviously lost interest, was passed out on sleeping pills in the next room and she hooked up with a mutual friend mere feet away

OH YOU AUSSIES

Hey we dont muck around mate.

yeah you do, in the next room even

I always say "not too bad" but it really does describe my whole worldview and my upbringing amongst stoic scandinavian midwesterners where you always realize that things could really go to shit at any moment and therefore the best you can hope is nothing is actively bad is happening.

Plus if things are actually really good you can't go around bragging about it.

yeah you do, in the next room even

:D

People who make the same joke over and over. We've had a surplus of Mike & Ike's in the office for the last couple of weeks, and ONCE a coworker joking pronounced it as Mike & Icky. Another coworker is just running with the joke, I think I just heard it for the tenth time just now. Please shut up. Not that funny.

Several times when I've said "no worries" to people they have asked if I was Australian.

I exchanged friendly emails with a counterpart at a competing newspaper and in his last missive, he ended it by saying "Cheers."

Oh, COME ON. THIS IS AMERICA. YOU ONLY SAY CHEERS WHEN IT COMES ON BEFORE NIGHT COURT.

And hey you Ozzies, I've got a coaster for you to put your VBs on.

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1181/1445518432_5234b906ed_o.jpg