slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

My god. This lady is a menace.

oh for the love of god don't read past that quoted section

come back VC Andrews, all is forgiven

Ha! I don't know if I'm willing to go that far.

Every generation gets the VC Andrews it deserves.

haha

I jerk awake, woken by a high-pitched squeal of delight from my son, and even though I can't see him or Christian, I grin like an idiot with my glee. Ted has woken from his nap, and he and Christian are romping nearby.

WHERE IS THIS GOING, LADY

I dunno about you but old VC's incest seems like frickin Dostoyevsky next to this blandrotica

“Christian! You are such a kinky –” He swoops on me suddenly, kissing me hard, his leg thrown over mine, grabbing my hands so they are above my head.
“You love the kinky fuckery,” he whispers, and he runs his nose down mine. I grin up at him, caught in his infectious, wicked smile.
“Yes, I love the kinky fuckery. And I love you. Very much.”

good god.

"You kids better cut out that kinkey fuckery right now or I'm turning this car around"

also the body descriptions remind me of Wizard of Oz - "then he took my legs and he threw them over THERE, and then he took my chest and he threw it over THERE"

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/50-shades-grey-author-jamess-interview-16154474

ice cream

followed by a dollop of ice cream

I used to really like ice cream.

a sex shop creeped her out, so she did her research "online"

the "ice cream followed by ice cream" thing is giving me huge flashbacks to the midthread lols here:

"Sink Immigrants Boats" says Nick Griffin

also the body descriptions remind me of Wizard of Oz - "then he took my legs and he threw them over THERE, and then he took my chest and he threw it over THERE"

dying

a sex shop creeped her out, so she did her research "online"

― goole, Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yet another detail that contributes to the novel's overall sense of having been written by a 14-year-old

I can't get past the kinky fuckery.

few can

fucky kinkery

(also thanks to that phrase, I am now picturing Christian as being played by Bert the Chimney Sweep from "Mary Poppins")

I'm going to start using "What manner of kinky fuckery is this?" whenever I'm confused or angry from now on. (Which is most of the time.)

you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery

you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice

this woman looks pretty much exactly like i assumed she would

"I think she likes sex already."

I was already sick to my stomach when I read this, but now I feel so much worse.

gaze upon the face of icequeen's snowdragon and tremble

Look how KINKY.

http://knopfdoubleday.com/files/2012/05/EL-James-for-web.jpg

so this is a book about will ferrell and rachel dratch's "lovers" characters from snl right?

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:24 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

I am going to blame EL James when I leave work early today.

it is so crazy to me how that fan fiction is taking america by storm

your boss is going to hear that as "i need to go home and masturbate" fyi (xpost)

:/

btw keep an eye out for my 'eat, pray, love' erotic fan novel, 'gag, beg, fuck,' arriving in bookstores this fall

hey america! your fantasy life is creepy boring and stupid

xp lol

the next dozen or so US bestsellers -- you read 'em here first

comments.stories.xnxx.com

This Ain't The Munsters XXX: A Novel

one of those porn companies should do a 50 shades parody where there's no sex, just their bad actors eating ice cream and talking about their day

fucky kinkerbean

NASCAR Harlequin is far more respectable

fucky kinkerbean

lollllllll

Ben & Jerry's Kinky Fuckery

“This is for me?” I whisper.

“For you.” He nods slowly.

“This is the butt drawer?”

He smirks.

“If you like.”

I close it quickly, flushing like a stoplight. Tentatively, I open the second drawer.

“Don’t you like the butt drawer?” he asks innocently, amused.

I gaze at him and shrug, trying to brazen out my shock.

“It’s not top of my Christmas card list,” I mutter nonchalantly.

He grins.

“Next drawer down holds a selection of vibrators.”

I shut the drawer quickly.

“And the next?” I whisper, ashen once more, but this time with embarrassment.

“That’s more interesting.”

I meant to ask: what Yerac's been posting is obv from the orig twilight fanfic, and i know they changed the names and what not but was the actual published book at all edited? I mean is it exactly as we're reading here? Because christ on a crutch, it'd fail a high school english homework task let alone be published in a sane world.

the butt drawer

It is exactly the same.

(uh putting aside the obvious lols of submitting BDSM novels in english class, that is, haw)

xpost shit, really? Fuck, and I talked myself out of ever trying to be a published author years ago. WTH.