the "ice cream followed by ice cream" thing is giving me huge flashbacks to the midthread lols here:
"Sink Immigrants Boats" says Nick Griffin
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:45 (twelve years ago) link
also the body descriptions remind me of Wizard of Oz - "then he took my legs and he threw them over THERE, and then he took my chest and he threw it over THERE"
dying
― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:46 (twelve years ago) link
a sex shop creeped her out, so she did her research "online"
― goole, Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
yet another detail that contributes to the novel's overall sense of having been written by a 14-year-old
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:48 (twelve years ago) link
I can't get past the kinky fuckery.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link
few can
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link
fucky kinkery
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:51 (twelve years ago) link
(also thanks to that phrase, I am now picturing Christian as being played by Bert the Chimney Sweep from "Mary Poppins")
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:52 (twelve years ago) link
I'm going to start using "What manner of kinky fuckery is this?" whenever I'm confused or angry from now on. (Which is most of the time.)
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:52 (twelve years ago) link
you love the kinky fuckeryi love the kinky fuckeryyou love the kinky fuckeryi love the kinky fuckeryyou love the kinky fuckeryi love the kinky fuckeryyou love the kinky fuckeryi love the kinky fuckeryyou love the kinky fuckeryi love the kinky fuckery
― jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:53 (twelve years ago) link
you like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juiceyou like-a da juiceI like-a da juice
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link
this woman looks pretty much exactly like i assumed she would
― jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:55 (twelve years ago) link
"I think she likes sex already."
I was already sick to my stomach when I read this, but now I feel so much worse.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:57 (twelve years ago) link
gaze upon the face of icequeen's snowdragon and tremble
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:57 (twelve years ago) link
Look how KINKY.
http://knopfdoubleday.com/files/2012/05/EL-James-for-web.jpg
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link
so this is a book about will ferrell and rachel dratch's "lovers" characters from snl right?
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:24 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark
lol
― some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link
I am going to blame EL James when I leave work early today.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:59 (twelve years ago) link
it is so crazy to me how that fan fiction is taking america by storm
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:03 (twelve years ago) link
your boss is going to hear that as "i need to go home and masturbate" fyi (xpost)
― some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:03 (twelve years ago) link
:/
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:04 (twelve years ago) link
btw keep an eye out for my 'eat, pray, love' erotic fan novel, 'gag, beg, fuck,' arriving in bookstores this fall
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:07 (twelve years ago) link
hey america! your fantasy life is creepy boring and stupid
xp lol
― goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:08 (twelve years ago) link
the next dozen or so US bestsellers -- you read 'em here first
comments.stories.xnxx.com
― goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:09 (twelve years ago) link
This Ain't The Munsters XXX: A Novel
― some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:09 (twelve years ago) link
one of those porn companies should do a 50 shades parody where there's no sex, just their bad actors eating ice cream and talking about their day
― goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:11 (twelve years ago) link
fucky kinkerbean
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:17 (twelve years ago) link
NASCAR Harlequin is far more respectable
― Choad of Choad Hall (kingfish), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:46 (twelve years ago) link
lollllllll
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Thursday, 24 May 2012 20:00 (twelve years ago) link
Ben & Jerry's Kinky Fuckery
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 20:03 (twelve years ago) link
“This is for me?” I whisper.
“For you.” He nods slowly.
“This is the butt drawer?”
He smirks.
“If you like.”
I close it quickly, flushing like a stoplight. Tentatively, I open the second drawer.
“Don’t you like the butt drawer?” he asks innocently, amused.
I gaze at him and shrug, trying to brazen out my shock.
“It’s not top of my Christmas card list,” I mutter nonchalantly.
He grins.
“Next drawer down holds a selection of vibrators.”
I shut the drawer quickly.
“And the next?” I whisper, ashen once more, but this time with embarrassment.
“That’s more interesting.”
― Yerac, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:23 (twelve years ago) link
I meant to ask: what Yerac's been posting is obv from the orig twilight fanfic, and i know they changed the names and what not but was the actual published book at all edited? I mean is it exactly as we're reading here? Because christ on a crutch, it'd fail a high school english homework task let alone be published in a sane world.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:26 (twelve years ago) link
the butt drawer
― carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:26 (twelve years ago) link
It is exactly the same.
― Yerac, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:26 (twelve years ago) link
(uh putting aside the obvious lols of submitting BDSM novels in english class, that is, haw)
xpost shit, really? Fuck, and I talked myself out of ever trying to be a published author years ago. WTH.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:27 (twelve years ago) link
Plus why is she afraid of a drawer full of vibrators? That sure beings being used as a human ice cream dish or having your boyfriend pull your tampon out and twist your hips around and turn you into a car.
― carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:28 (twelve years ago) link
that sure BEATS being used
With this kind of writing, I could have a runaway best seller erotic paperback.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13572249-bared-to-you
So 50 Shades of Grey has thinly disguised fanfic now? Which is being picked up for publication? And will probably inspire its own fanfic?
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:28 (twelve years ago) link
The level of utter naivety/lack of knowledge of the subject matter is so crushingly embarrasing.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:29 (twelve years ago) link
THE BUTT DRAWER
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:29 (twelve years ago) link
flushing like a stoplight.
― estela, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:30 (twelve years ago) link
I got so distracted by THE BUTT DRAWER that I missed "flushing like a stoplight." What even what I don't know what. What?
― carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:32 (twelve years ago) link
flushing like a stoplight sounds like a wacky britishism until you think about it and realize it's just the worst simile of all time
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:35 (twelve years ago) link
"Don't you like the butt drawer?"=First-round inductee into Question Hall of Fame.
― Hare Kinsey (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:42 (twelve years ago) link
tbh I am just imagining a chagrined stoplight on a toilet
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:43 (twelve years ago) link
i don't wonder what's in the third drawer.
― estela, Thursday, 24 May 2012 23:46 (twelve years ago) link
Stopping by another airport bookshop last night, flipping open one of the books and skipping around a bit, I quickly found a section where he was twisting around a butt plug like she had a bad starter.
Clan of the Cave Bear this ain't.
― Choad of Choad Hall (kingfish), Friday, 25 May 2012 00:03 (twelve years ago) link
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4jfv2LnMN1qh9nffo1_400.jpg
― some dude, Friday, 25 May 2012 00:55 (twelve years ago) link
dear little baby jesus, please let marc loi review this book.
― estela, Friday, 25 May 2012 01:01 (twelve years ago) link
he won't, but his inner goddess will
― some dude, Friday, 25 May 2012 01:15 (twelve years ago) link
if he wrote the book the third drawer would contain plan b.
― estela, Friday, 25 May 2012 01:24 (twelve years ago) link
plan butt
― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 25 May 2012 01:27 (twelve years ago) link