Take this Queen's Jubilee and SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

<3 the title of this thread

i have managed to avoid the j*bilee completely this weekend. saturday got fucked up at a bbq. sunday spent in darkened living room watching the tennis eating polenta, deliberately not answering parental phone calls. monday went to see the patrick keiller exo at the tate and then prometheus.

in between though i checked twitter and why the fuck was everyone glued to the fucking thing? this country has no self-respect. seeing otherwise intelligent people queue up to pledge their fucking allegiance to the fucking queen is immensely depressing.

and that's before we even get to this story http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/04/jubilee-pageant-unemployed

KEEP CALM AND BUS IN SLAVE LABOUR

some pissed-up dick in a red, white and blue shirt was moaning at us in the pub last night because they had the rugby on and not the royal V festival, bad luck mate welcome to Hull lolololololol

My boss must have been looking at some pics of the hullaballoo and said aloud today "aw I wish I could be in London for all this, it looks like fun!". I laughed and informed her of the general attitude of everyone I know (ie everyone in this thread lol) and she was genuinely baffled! "why would they have such a problem with it?". Bless her parochial narrow minded brain.

not seen anyone talk about it on twitter but 3 people on fb have pictures of queens and all that and one had baked a cake with a flag on it

Most of my timeline are either ignoring it or being snarky republicans about it. But there's one woman - I mean, she's a very sweet human being, but she seems to be getting very angry about the snarky republicans and saying "why are you so intent on spoiling other people's fun?" and threatening to block people. I kinda want to say "why are you spoiling the only fun that snarky republicans can find in this whole debacle?" but that would be inappropriate, I guess.

I do seem to have successfully avoided most of the whole thing - mainly by staying inside glued to creative endeavours on my laptop - but I'm just kind perplexed by people's interest in it. On both sides, flag-waving royalists and snarky republicans. It's pretty easy to avoid if you want. Even in London.

right now, right at this very second, this is my favourite thread of all time

Went to see my parents yesterday, they had spent all of Sunday glued to the TV watching the pageant "because we wanted to see the boats" and were then annoyed by all the rah-rahing. So I had to try quite hard not to point out that I am having a cheerful jubilee-free time what with not watching TV, buying newspapers, or looking at any news websites, as I realise that for some people having no idea what's going on in the world is an unacceptable lifestyle choice, and they're probably right

though I did stop to go "ha, look at this bad taste" at 1. a sudden blossoming of flags all over the front of the local pub 2. a giant union flag traybake in Tesco yesterday. and then headed into the centre of town where I saw absolutely no sign of anything happening whatsoever

Would've thought Whitechapel was the least likely place in London to be making a big deal out of the jubilee, with the exception of I dunno Kilburn or somewhere else with loads of Irish people.

Revolting levels of bunting on the bus through Dulwich yesterday, although there appeared to be a few fun parties going on in Brixton it's difficult to say whether they were jubilee related per se or just taking advantage of the long weekend. No bunting in Brixton obviously.

Otherwise have managed to avoid most of it, largely due to barely turning the TV on all weekend.

Barely left Whitechapel since Thursday. The only Jubilee related events I've seen are;

One miserable flag hanging from Booth House (homeless shelter)
A local nuisance mad woman ranting in Budgens yesterday morning that she didn't have a day off.
Some very drunk people outside Indo chanting 'Jubilee' like 'Vindaloo', one of them in drag.

the problem with TV news and newspapers is that they're more or less the last place to find out about what's going on in the world

not a single flag on commercial road - even the tesco metro hasn't bothered:D

oh god i know that 'grandma slut' as my gf described him last night. avoided all this depressing nonsense by installing slsk on an old pc laptop, watched a fish called wanda and made some mixes for friends. gonna try s1ocki's honey garlic bbq chicken today, not a bad couple of days off tbh

watched this

http://survivingprogress.com/

on BBC4 last night. put the other bollocks nicely into perspective. might be on iPlayer for a bit.

I kinda want to say "why are you spoiling the only fun that snarky republicans can find in this whole debacle?" but that would be inappropriate, I guess.

you guess rong imo

Tomorrow's People sounds like a band that released one single on Deram in 1968: Trip to Narnia b/w Smoky Jack.

switched on the radio earlier to find the normally twee 'call you and yours' had become some sort of bloody nuremberg rally

LOL, I heard that too. Even worse, Bonnie Greer was on it.

Swivel-eyed Nazi caller: "You talked about the 'so-called' indigenous peoples of the United Kingdom..."

Bonnie (dripping condescension): "I did not use the phrase 'so-called' indigenous peoples."

... she did use the phrase 'so-called' indigenous peoples, like 15 seconds beforehand

I was at a DIY festival Saturday/Sunday, and watched that Surviving Progress documentary last night than NV linked to - definitely interesting stuff, and no Jubilee for me.

I was quite surprised at the number of twitter/facebook people watching the Jubilee concert - I mean, it's terrible music in celebration of a bunch of terrible cunts, why bother watching even in order to mock? If there was a chance of something good or interesting happening then I could see why, even if you're against the monarchy, but the lineup was fucking awful and security would've been way too tight for any protesty stuff to happen...

Co-worker made the cupcakes.

used to want to debate with racists about what the nature of "indigenous" peoples are but then i realised they were racists and they aren't really that interested

ime anybody who even pretends to be watching royal-y stuff ironically is not-very-secretly just watching it cos they like it

OTM

I suppose there's also the thing of 'wanting to be informed' - it's been shoved at us so strongly that you do get the feeling that *everyone* will be watching, which preys on your sense of wanting to be kept in the loop and able to communicate with your fellows. But it's just the same trick most advertising pulls, it's not real.

Categorically not wanting to be informed in this case, tbh

ive managed to avoid all of it, thankfully got away without even posting about it

feeling just fractionally more informed than i wannabe

Yeah, pretty much.

I wonder if Cockroach News of Cockroach England has had anything to say about the Jubilee?

tried to watch a chunk in compromise gesture to gf & her daughter, but parade of toadeaters, paedos, toffs forced me out of the room. it came through the wall while I was in exile - my brain had already given up by the Robbie-sings-Brecht moment.

NV otm, if you think you are watching it just so you can make remarks on twitter abt Jessie J/princess beatrice/will.i.am's clothes there is probably something wrong with your life + you should take a close look at your principles.

(posting to ilx totally diff, obvs)

going on ppl's descriptions the bit where Madness were doing 'Our House' and a hueg block of council houses got projected onto the palace sounded p lol

would've sat through maybe... 20 mins of whatever else to see that

Arab On Radar were playing London on the day of the 2002 jubilee, but after watching the jubilee concert on TV I was so disgusted at humanity I couldn't face hearing any more music of whatever sort, so I stayed at home instead. Then AOR split up, so I never got to see them. But I did see Brian May playing God Save The Queen on the roof of Buckingham Palace, so that was something.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/04/article-2154539-1372EE96000005DC-271_964x544.jpg

we should get so high before grandmas thing

in all seriousness I think Arab On Radar would've appreciated going head to head for yr affections w/ Brian May playing the national anthem on a palace roof

is this jubilee shit over now then?

What 'indigenous peoples'? The Piskies?

(During the Jubilee celebrations last time Something Very Bad happened to me, but y'know, marking the ten year anniversary of a sexual assault is a little bit too maudlin, even for me.)

((Things on ILX you wish you hadn't said but you kinda had to))

Let's make more piskie jokes.

PISKIE RIGHTS AND PEACE!!!!

did david starkey have some public mental implosion on itv? wasn't watching :(

not sure what wd count for a public meltdown for TV racist David Starkey tbh

Meanwhile ITV prompted controversy with its Jubilee coverage yesterday when it pitched the historian Dr David Starkey against Prof Simon Schama, who was commentating on the service of thanksgiving for BBC1. Starkey called Nicolas Sarkozy a “nasty jumped up little spiv” and his successor as French President, Francois Hollande, “a second rate provincial school master”.

business as usual by the looks of it

from what i can gather from twitter he started ranting about communists and burst into tears

aww man i'll look out for that on Youtube

prescott's on the case

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/05/call-inquiry-jobseekers-jubilee-stewards

geez haven't you guys murdered the royal family yet

we would but we don't know where they live

I've been looking forward to the Olympics for years, as I do with every Olympics, but these flag waving cunts are going to ruin it, aren't they?

yep

the olympics are for wastemen too so

the fitba team of gareth bale, a couple of token olds and a load of token malnourished spides from the provinces is going to be so bad

TEAM GB

Carl Diem devised the idea of the torch relay for the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin that was organized by the Nazis under the guidance of Joseph Goebbels. Krupp armaments company produced the torches in wood and metal, inspired by an olive leaf. The Olympic Flame was lit by a concave mirror in Olympia, Greece and transported over 3,187 kilometres by 3,331 runners in twelve days and eleven nights from Greece to Berlin.

http://i.imgur.com/7MOtD.jpg