rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

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http://bizarroiloveyou.ytmnd.com/

carl agatha, Saturday, 16 June 2012 01:30 (twelve years ago) link

Max Silvestri
@maxsilvestri 24h

Pizza Hut's is pretty good, but I'll always prefer how my Italian grandmother made Buffalo Chicken P'zolo.

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cissymanwhore (k3vin k.), Saturday, 16 June 2012 01:35 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

Really hoping someone does archive all these. I asked over on oreo pizza: WTF if there was a comprehensive history of the pointless novelty pizza, but got nowhere. Where did it all begin? And when will it all end? Pizza is like the ultimate goof-proof junk food meal; it's transparent to everyone involved that these gimmicks are just attention-grabbing marketing hooks as discussed upthread, but since both customers and pizza magnates know it, can't they just, like, stop?

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:00 (eleven years ago) link

all it takes is one novelty hit like a chicken mcnugget to make it worthwhile.

Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:10 (eleven years ago) link

but that's just a wad of chicken. they don't do anything WEIRD to it, besides the thing they do to make it into a wad.

j., Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:16 (eleven years ago) link

what if they ground up leftover pizza into and formed it into a waddy extrusion that could be breaded and fried into a nugget?

Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:18 (eleven years ago) link

i think i would try the p'zone if someone else ordered it and paid for it and put it in front of me. i would *try* it, not necessarily finish it.

ezra kleine nachtmusik (get bent), Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:20 (eleven years ago) link

oh, have i got news for you

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2599/4017063511_cf6ab72970.jpg

j., Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:20 (eleven years ago) link

fuck, pizza rolls are good.

ezra kleine nachtmusik (get bent), Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link

there are pizza-flavored potstickers that are pretty yummy, but they are asian frozen foods alchemy, not novelty fast food alchemy.
http://pds9.egloos.com/pds/200808/09/03/b0007603_489da987dc4c6.jpg

take excess cheese product, freeze in pacojet containers --> parmesan sorbet!

Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 August 2012 23:25 (eleven years ago) link

doctor casino I invite you to my thread pizza commercials from asia

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:51 (eleven years ago) link

pz'YOLO

Fareed Zaireeka (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 00:55 (eleven years ago) link

You are now watching the throne
Don't let me eat a P'Zone

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:01 (eleven years ago) link

you know how many p'zones I own?

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:08 (eleven years ago) link

this might not count but i tried one of taco bell's new "cantina bowls" today. i imagine it's still terrible for you since it contains both guacamole-product and a creamy sauce, but it made me feel less like death than i usually do after eating there.

a swarm of sentient bees (reddening), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 01:50 (eleven years ago) link

four months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/g3upx.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/vIDJH.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/WM4b9.jpg

KFC literally serves you a bowl of hot vomit

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link

:(

post some pix of real chinese food to make up for the queasy feeling I now have

autistic boy is surprisingly good at basketball (silby), Sunday, 30 December 2012 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

I like:
mashed potatoes
gravy
corn
friend chicken
cheese

So why does this make me feel so bad inside?

carl agatha, Sunday, 30 December 2012 18:30 (eleven years ago) link

Actually I think it's because the slightly transparent gravy looks like snot/bile and now I'm going to unbookmark this thread blech

carl agatha, Sunday, 30 December 2012 18:31 (eleven years ago) link

friend chicken :)

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 December 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link

KFC famous bowels

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 30 December 2012 18:40 (eleven years ago) link

pretty sure i scrolled through this thread than the encyclopedia dramatica 'offended' page

so disgusting

things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Sunday, 30 December 2012 19:12 (eleven years ago) link

/more quickly than/

things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Sunday, 30 December 2012 19:12 (eleven years ago) link

yeah i find it marginally easier to spend 10 seconds looking at the rtx cover

things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Sunday, 30 December 2012 19:32 (eleven years ago) link

the thing on the left is presumably eaten by many thousands of people whereas even neil hagerty and jennifer herrema at their worst probably wouldn't eat the thing on the right

things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Sunday, 30 December 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link

stevie not taken in by all that funky narration, a+ post

kristof-profiting-from-a-childs-illiteracy.html (schlump), Sunday, 30 December 2012 19:39 (eleven years ago) link

feel like we kinda dropped the ball on this thread this year so good revive

packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Sunday, 30 December 2012 20:24 (eleven years ago) link

is it just the sweetcorn that makes the thing on the left look so much like a bowl of shit?

did sweet sixteen ever come out on vinyl? love that album so much...

I had such a fontasy (stevie), Sunday, 30 December 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link

taco bell calls its desserts "sweet treats"

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

no lie though I've been meaning to check out the new 99 cent grillers

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/5zoeS.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link

The new dessert menu includes a new cookie sandwich which features two triangular chocolate chip cookies, filled with vanilla cream - available for $1.29. The menu also includes a churro for $0.99. These items will complement the company's existing dessert range, which includes caramel apple empanada and bite-sized Cinnamon Twists.

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:00 (eleven years ago) link

my goodness

http://i.imgur.com/w5krf.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:01 (eleven years ago) link

what the hell this honestly can't be the size of what you get for 99 cents

http://i.imgur.com/KSzCy.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link

mcdonalds snackers are more expensive and nowhere near that big

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:03 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/vYH6e.png

http://i.imgur.com/XHXwJ.png

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:04 (eleven years ago) link

Frutista also the name of the font that ad is set in

sleepingbag, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link

today is the day that I learned that BK actually has a triple whopper out

http://i.imgur.com/y5V0l.jpg

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/OJAoU.png

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link

reminds me of when I visited montreal in high school and we all found out that the mcdonalds there had a big mac but with three patties - of course we all got one, and were like, damn, canadians be gettin down on some freaky shit across the border, so amazing that literally you can just cross this magic line and all of a sudden you can buy a big mac with three patties and it's actually cheaper too (this was before parity)

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:09 (eleven years ago) link

Wow; I'm gonna have to get on that Triple Whopper. I once ate a Double Whopper a day for about four months straight. I regret nothing.

Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:11 (eleven years ago) link

of course wendy's has a triple stacker too

http://i.imgur.com/mAHwy.png

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:11 (eleven years ago) link

mcdonald's sadly lagging behind

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:12 (eleven years ago) link

waiting for the mckie d's brass to be like... fuck it... we're going to four

four patties

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:12 (eleven years ago) link

*gasps are heard in the board room, somebody faints*

乒乓, Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link


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