Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I'm debating whether I should report him to the body that governs attorney ethics stuff, actually. Because that is just not okay.

Boss [writing an email]: Can anyone check I've got the definition of 'punctiliousness' correct?

Me: I think it means adhering stringently to small rules and details - you know, like table manners and stuff...

Boss: Hmmm, no, I think 'punctiliousness' refers to the act of being punctual.

Me: I think you're thinking of 'punctuality'

irony lols

carl - that's insane! if what dude's saying is true, it's only a matter of time before one of these adjusters winds up dead in the parking lot! omg!

The same guy has a blue folder marked "PHOTOCOPYING" in which his places his shower gel, shampoo and deodorant when he goes to use the gym showers halfway through the afternoon, while he's getting paid to work.

I love every part of this, wholeheartedly.

I'm debating whether I should report him to the body that governs attorney ethics stuff, actually. Because that is just not okay.

Uh yeah that is TOTALLY NOT OKAY and you should say something! Holy shit.

- Guy who insists on slamming the phone down every time he speaks to his ex-wife (which, to be fair to the guy, is a lot, she phones him every five minutes and drives him mental). She can't hear the slam!

He blocked her number on his work phone. Now he hangs up on her on his mobile which involves no slamming but still lots of shouting. Apparently he has two phones, one regular phone she doesn't have the number for, and another exclusively to allow her to contact him when necessary (i.e. to argue about money and childcare) - their definitions of necessary seem miles apart.

Remind me to never get divorced.

Today's lyric from shower guy is "my kind OF TOWN... CHICAGO is... my kind... of... PEOPLE...(repeat)" - he has gone momentarily quiet in order to eat soup ("Oriental vegetable broth, it's got a nice wee spicy hint of cinnamon").

It's not Steve n's boss is it?

A thread for Steve n.'s list of songs that his boss sings

xpost onimo, re: shower guy. that's kind of cute on paper. probably not in real life.

that steve n thread is the funniest thing ever.

he's a nice guy, just a little strange and has his own way of doing things, and those things rarely involve doing any work

xpost

that steve n post is originally from somewhere away way way up the top of this thread!

Our version of this guy this morning is endlessly looping "when you were young ba DA you reached for the sun doo DOO doo doo shine on you craaaaaaZEE diamond..." - note incorrect lyrics - this all "sung" in a passable William Shatner recital with an Edinburgh accent.

― the innermost wee guy (oimo), Friday, 1 May 2009 10:57 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I knew I'd mentioned him :)

We have the girl who sings "Tell me lies/Tell me secrets and lies". We've told her those are the wrong words, but she doesn't listen.

Y'all work in Office Space. I mean - people talking to themselves and singing or whistling out loud all day? Would be nerve wracking in a traditional office setting.

Talking about elections with a co-worker the other day, co-worker was surprised I had an opinion : "I didn't know you were an American. I thought your family was foreign."! Yes, this is a US workplace.

I don't know how big the sample size is or what, but I thought the results of this one question quiz on a website might be of interest to you people:

Does the sound of other people chewing fill you with rage?

Not sure 5%
No 73%
Yes 21%

I find it hard to believe that nearly a quarter of the population doesn't want to murder people who make chewing noises because my reaction to such noises are so IMMEDIATE and STRONG.

More than 3 quarters, you mean.

Math. Who needs it?

I have come to the conclusion that in any office I will hate one person for their noises (and yes, I realise they may well think something similar about mine, especially since I admit I have a habit of eating junk like crisps at weird times of day, so they are probably thinking "that fat bitch is eating noisy, unhealthy foods AGAIN, goddamn, just wait until lunchtime and eat a salad").

This realisation was inspired by my current noisiest, most annoying coworker being on holiday and me getting wound up by the eating and typing noises and desk-drumming of my other officemate, who I like and am not normally annoyed by, even when he does the same things but my more usual annoyance-target is in.

Anyway, I probably hate chewing noises because I hate all mouthy/breathy/squelchy noises but I can't actually remember being annoyed by them, unlike sniffing, tea-slurping, fork-biting, and this one dude who constantly had a pen lid in his mouth and squelched it back and forth all day. How I cursed the manufacturer for putting in the little holes so you can't choke to death on a pen lid any more. (Kidding... or am I? After 8 months of sitting a foot behind that guy I didn't even know any more.)

Telecommuting has never been more appealing

Chewing doesnt bother me but I fear that means that maybe *i* am the loud chewer in our office...

All I ask is that if someone is sitting right next to/behind me at their own desk, they not eat at their desk. I am going to throw a chair one day if I have to hear my boss's rice cracker crunch or cereal bowl slurp one more time... (I know ive gone on about this here at length. Or on the IA thread maybe. I know its a neurosis of mine)

my older sister used to throw fits at the dinner table over how disgusting she found everyone's eating sounds. that was during her difficult teenage years, tho. my dad really does make kind of gross/loud chewing noises and i think this is partly the source of my self-consciousness abt eating

Yeah it might be where I got it from too, parents who ate like noisy old geriatrics, possibly partly due to having loads of false teeth I think. Ugh.

this is all you guys, at werk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLA4b0TVbNw

I crush things loud at my desk becuase of my new teeth - they razors

ctrl+f the convo we had about bathroom germophobes

She forgot her pass today so is asking to borrow mine every time she needs to be which is often. That's all fine and obv I don't mind lending it to her but I'm sick so she is making this grand dramatic gesture of picking it up with a tissue and pinching it between two fingers/holding it away from her ever time. JUST FUCKING BORROW SOMEONE ELSE'S.

That is super rude. I would not be able to let that pass.

If she does it again I'm going to say "Seriously, Melissa?!" (That's her favorite phrase - another really annoying thing she does) "Just borrow someone elses ffs!" Cause really now.

Her pass?

Her slidey thing that opens the doors.

Between bathrooms you need a pass for and houses tented for fumigation, I wonder sometimes if I live in the same America as the rest of you.

lol

Well, ee have secured doors on our floor but the bathrooms are out in the hallway so we can get out and in them no prob but you need to have the pass with you so you can get back in our area if that makes sense.

That makes sense.

We have restrooms within the confines of our office, but if it's full, there's one outside in the public hallway.

Summertime's great because I always have my key in my pocket. Winter sucks because my keys are in my coat pocket and I have to walk back to my desk.

I think I would have to have a bit of fun with her. "Oh, I'm that filthy, am I?"

I should have pulled an Elaine and rubbed the pass all over me when I saw her coming for it.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4pn2lsow11rntezlo1_400.gif

please do this I will pay you some money

That sounded really creepy. I do not have a butt rubbing fetish. I just want you to tell this woman what's what.

I just had lunch with my old boss who quit her job and bought a cabin in the woods in rural Michigan and was telling me about all of the Larry David moments she having as she tries to acclimate to small town life. It was pretty funny. I'm putting this here because she used to be a stupid annoying coworker and now that she left, she is a delight to have lunch with once every couple of months.

how is her chewing these days?

Carl I left early but if she keeps it up tomorrow I just may.

holding up okay?

Yeah, def on the mend, thanks. I just couldn't stay the whole day. I think I'll feel a lot better tomorrow.

Next time she asks for your pass, pull it out of your underwear.

Oh! Wait, I just realises she's doing the offensive "ew germs" thing because you're *ill*, of course. I was thinking she was just being neortic and rude generally, a la the whapping you in the toilets for not covering yr hand debacle.

NEUrotic.

Well, yeah. I mean that's why she was doing it but there are 5 other ppl she could easily ask for their swipey cards. If it bugs her so much that I'm not feeling well then go ask one of them instead of making a big show of it.

Yeah exactly, its pretty wtf (and rude of her)

Even if they are roiling kettles of mental turmoil on the inside, because aren't we all, I feel like high level HR people should at least project a sense of emotional stability in the workplace.

"I have an open door policy! Please come in with any issues you have, so that I can tell you about how one of your coworkers called me fat and hurt my feelings."